I don't really care if it was just "one terrible day". The coach's job is to set an example for the players no matter what the circumstances. Someone should have taken him aside on that day and told him that. If the coach is really a good example for kids, he will be receptive to the constructive criticism and do what's right. If not, then I would take my daughter home. There is no excuse for setting a bad example for the kids. I swear about as much or more than anyone I know, so I am not speaking as a "holier than thou" prude, but I've coached kids for many years and haven't once been disrespectful and/or used bad language in front of the athletes. You have to always be aware of your audience and the effect that you have on them.Probably wouldn’t like it. However the best coach my dd ever had. A guy who still years later will post on the Org Facebook page the accomplishments of girls who aged out of his program years ago. College graduations, new jobs, accomplishments in other sports, birthdays, engagements… he once had a terrible day and if you only saw him the one day you would think bad things.
The next week one day I brought a 12 pack of beer and a lawn chair, showed up at coaches house and we sat in his yard for however long it took to discuss that bad day and decide if his team was still a good fit. My dd played for him another 5 years and he proved that was a one time thing.
So I would need to see more then one snapshot in time to decide.
No, it isn't the worst thing, but it's still unacceptable for a coach of a 12U team.Cussing while it may offend some ears is not the worst thing.
My take away on this is...
Do the most research possible on the team going to decide to play on because some coaches may exhibit certain behaviors may or may not like. That is to say that coach still fielded a team.
My daughter would not be playing for that coach, and if my daughter was on an opposing team I would be pointing out that she is lucky not to be playing for him.We were at a tournament this weekend and our field was back to back with another one. While we were waiting for our game I started watching the game on the field next to us. Very competitive game, but what stood out was one of the coaches was literally cursing every other word in front of and at 12U girls. F bombs, BS, son of a bitch, you name it. He was losing his mind. I'm no prude, but I would never dream of talking like that in front of young girls.
Luckily, our girls were warming up about 50 yards away, but if they were standing there next to the field I would have asked the tournament director to issue a warning to the coach. It's one thing if the parents on his team don't care how he carries himself in front of their daughters, but that's not something that I want around my 12U daughter or our team.
My dd has had a litany of coaches between softball and other sports. I have coached many teams in multiple sports and no I don’t condone this behavior in myself or others. However, I was willing to give a second chance. And I didn’t think confronting him when he was obviously in a bad place was the right move, unless I was sure I was walking away. I needed to get my dds thoughts and my wife’s opinion before any decision was made. The season was over and we had a week to discuss at home and make a decision. My dd was 14 at the time and her opinion was important.I don't really care if it was just "one terrible day". The coach's job is to set an example for the players no matter what the circumstances. Someone should have taken him aside on that day and told him that. If the coach is really a good example for kids, he will be receptive to the constructive criticism and do what's right. If not, then I would take my daughter home. There is no excuse for setting a bad example for the kids. I swear about as much or more than anyone I know, so I am not speaking as a "holier than thou" prude, but I've coached kids for many years and haven't once been disrespectful and/or used bad language in front of the athletes. You have to always be aware of your audience and the effect that you have on them.
If all parents of 12u players held themselves to a standard this might be a different discussion.No, it isn't the worst thing, but it's still unacceptable for a coach of a 12U team.