Is being a coaches daughter hurt her brand with coaches and scouts?

It was mentioned to me by a D-I coach who was recruiting my dd that it might be a good idea that she play for someone else. The reasoning was that she had never had to listen to any other coach in hard times.

I think alot of valid points have been made. Right now my daughter is in a toxic dugout. Thus the motivation behind my query. The advantage of coaching her besides being in control of logistics and costs, is I am more in the know on things and can make sure they/her get the training they need if they have hopes to go further. But I am well aware, the list of potential problems seems endless. But what I was unsure of was the detriment of outside perception, in particular that of college coaches and scouts.Right now the trade off seems to be the risk of perception she is cottled player undeserving of time/position /etc and not getting to adapt to other coach styles but under my coaching watch or....in teams below her level of play and not stretching her ability wise or sacraficing our budget and other kids dreams so she can tour on big time team. From post here thus far it makes it sound as though that perception is not really an issue.

I enjoy coaching, and intend too continue regardless if she is on my team or not. But am still weighing this carefully as the pitfalls are very concerning even with a more positive outlook in regard to branding. Thanks for your time

Personally I think it's pretty obvious when a coach doesn't handle things well with his own kid. Of course, of all the teams we've been on I don't think there's been one with a coach who was truly fair to his own child - either they're too hard on them, coach them more than the rest, coach them less than the rest, or give them their way all the time. It definitely seems to be a big challenge but I think it can be done well with the right mindset.

Clint said:

I stepped away from coaching my DD this past year when she changed travel ball teams. I was an AC coach with another dad and we had an arrangement that we coached each other's daughters as much as possible. Wanted to make sure that we didn't want to be accused of favoritism and didn't want to be too hard on our respective daughters, which as we know can happen very often when we coach our daughters.

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this is exactly what I did and I think it works the best if possible...it works out best because after several years DD is tired of hearing your voice even if she knows it's right she has a different respect for a coach that is not you, it actually worked out great my DD was in outfield and his the infield so we just focused on those areas and same with hitting. When it comes to making the lineup it is a little harder but we always relied pretty heavily on stats; highest OB% at top, 3,4 and 5 hitter players that hit hard and lots of doubles and so on, really standard stuff. Overall though 16U and HS is the perfect time to transition yourself out of coaching if it is an option.

College coaches as others have stated 95% of the time could care less as long as the girl performs on the field...although if they witness something really bad as far as players interaction with other players or the coach and the player is not a superstar they might just figure it's not worth the trouble, they can find a kid with equal talent with a great attitude.

I am a parent coach. I'm not a manager or primary decision maker. I would not manage a team that my DD is on, but coaching one I think is different, but you have to know why you're coaching. I don't coach because my DD plays, obviously like many that's how I started coaching but it's not why I continue. I want to move to 10U and start my own team in the current organization but the president of the Org who I coach with prefers I stay with him as we work well together.

I'm not harder on her than the others, I'm just more honest with her because I'm her parent and I don't get offended by what I say to her. I think the same things about the other girls but have to be PC when speaking to someone else's kid.

Where I see the issue with parent coaches is when theyre making lineups and always slotting their kid in certain spots in the order or positions on D, where they blame other kids for their DD's pitching failures or in the stat book when an error should be recorded but isn't to help DD's stats. I wouldn't avoid coaching your DD but I would avoid an entire dugout of parents. I've been in one and I left it at the end of a season to go to a place where my DD would play for someone who doesn't have a child on the team. It's a much better situation as everything is earned. We have a clear understanding that I don't want to make the lineup or defense, we are yet to get accused of daddy ball.

You hear this a lot - 'someone else should coach your kid...' - though I have never heard it hurting recruiting any (unless the parent coach was also a total *&@* who was going to be a problem whatever their role was - even if they just watching from the sidelines)

My DD gets PLENTY of exposure to other coaching without having to put her 100% on a travel team that I am not coaching - she guests on other teams a few times per year, she is going to play HS softball next year for the coach there, she has a Pitching and Hitting coach, we bring in the local DII and DI college coaches to run practices pretty regularly, and she plays a couple of other sports casually in quiet times of the year.

I am certainly not going to just turn her over to just anyone just because someone else says so...

In travel I would consider turning my DD over to someone else right after I find someone who I think is WAY better than myself and the coaching staff around her currently. Between the three of us we have 60+ years of coaching from 6U all the way through DII college in 4 different sports. 2 of us played D1 sports in college and a little beyond college. We have a whole bunch of success over the years, we all study coaching and the game, have a huge variety of certifications and so on... So all modesty aside, the fact our DD's all play on this team is secondary certainly in my mind.

Thinking about it, there are a grand total of 3 coaches in my area I would consider. None currently coach in her age group - that may change next year, but as long as the current situation is sustainable, then it is very unlikely her travel situation will change.

Justmoi said:

I have seen in various places that it is strongly advised against to coach a team with your daughter on it. I wonder if it will hurt her college ball hopes and aspirations? I am stuck between limited and mostly not good options of teams and coaches in that regard. She is extremely talented and much as I love coaching her, I worry about all the natural problems that might incur and no I don't play Daddy ball(though if I did probably would say same thing...so just please accept for the moment that I don't and am more guilty of being tougher on her then gifting her anything)
So can it be done with out adverse effect in building her brand so to speak with college coaches and scouts? If so, what can be done to help that end? If not, why?

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The core of your concern is valid, however, I find the idea of talking about a child's "brand" to be off-putting. I know that's increasingly common in our society, and young people want to use modern social media to become "stars", but one of the consequences of this way of thinking is that participation in team sports becomes solely about individual performance and promotion. I know that's not what you said, but that's what came to mind the moment I read your post title.

I never planned to coach mine after 10u, and pledged not to do so after 12u. I've honored that pledge, but if every other parent out there had made the same decision I did in 14u and later, I'm not sure DD would have a team right now. I firmly believe that colleges look at the measurables and select their top prospects based on the eye test. If a 5-foot-8, 160-lb 9th-grader happens to crush 2 OTF home runs in a single game with eyes on her at the Zoom Into June showcase, she's probably going to be getting an offer or 2 regardless of who her coach is.

Yea I stopped coaching my dd at 12U. I let her fly the coop. BEST DAY EVER!!

Now I get to chill out, have my chair and drink my "special drink" out of my YETI!!

WARRIORMIKE said:

Yea I stopped coaching my dd at 12U. I let her fly the coop. BEST DAY EVER!!

Now I get to chill out, have my chair and drink my "special drink" out of my YETI!!

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I look forward to the day where ALL I have to worry about is working with my kid, and then enjoying a "special drink" while watching the game. Although I generally enjoy coaching, it doesn't take much in the way of player or parent problems to wring the fun out of it. However, Momo'sDad makes a great point; if EVERY parent made that decision after 12U, girl's fastpitch would evaporate, and only the most skilled and most financially able would be able to play. I believe some overthink the recruiting thing; there are many examples of very successful players that came from teams coached by their parents. If you've got the talent, time, resources, and patience to do it, please continue.