Am I Out of Line?

I have been an AC for my DDs 14U team this year. So far it has been pretty good but I ran into a situation where I seem to have run a bit afoul of the co-HCs and my DD. In fact, she called me "rude". I would like some others opinions on the situation. Here's what happened:

We were out of town for a tournament and won our first two pool games, with my DD pitching, 6-3 and 3-0. We noticed that even if we won our third pool game we would probably lose the tie breaker so we pitched our number two and got blown out. It appears that some of the girls must have partied pretty late because before the first bracket play game the next morning most of the girls were out of it. The girls were very lackadaisical about getting warmed-up and prepared for the game and I was pushing them a bit to get ready. One of the HCs seemed to suggest that I mellow out a bit. Long story short, they didn't get ready.

So the game starts and the first 6 hitters either reach on a solid hit or error. So I go out and talk to the infield and ask, "Are you guys awake out here?" The second baseman says, "Yes". I reply, "It doesn't look like it! Start making the plays and get some oomph on that FB". Anyway, this is what my DD called me rude about. And this talk certainly did not help because we ended up losing 15-1 to the team that we had previously beat 3-0.

Was I out of line?

NOPE!.... Kids need a kick in the rear sometimes. And any "coach" that thinks otherwise has no business coaching. I would have been harder than you were. Play to win, period. Or get off my field! We work too hard, and spend too much money for you to be lazy when it counts the most! Winners rise up while losers make excuses.

No not even close. This weekend I had the weekend from hell from my 12u team who came in too cocky to get the wins need. I got in to them worse then this and was not once called rude was instead greeted with a loud "Yes Sir!" When I told them they lied to me about being ready to play and that they need to step up their game because this was not our style of softball and if they really came to play then prove it.

Not sure how your coaching style usually is but if this is out the norm then maybe you just need a sit down to explain why you went this route, but in my eyes no you were not out of line.

Thanks for the gracious comments. I am usually on the lighter side of a lot of coaches but I believe that these girls have a responsibility to each other to show up ready to place their best. I can handle trying your best and losing but to show up and play like that was quite aggravating to me. I believe that they, literally, made about 12 errors during the game. I think that our first baseman dropped four easy balls and threw another ball away. Finally, the HC replaced her.

I think that what really threw me was being called "rude" by my DD. She said that they were there to play and have fun. I told her that I don't think anyone (on our side) was having fun that game. Not the players, the coaches, nor the parents.

Also, it really disturbed me that I wasn't supported by the HCs. Being called "rude" by my DD and not having the support of the HCs made me feel like re-retiring. I don't coach to be called rude, to run the ire of the HCs, or to have my efforts unappreciated.

If 12 errors is fun, your DD may not be as serious about the sport as you appear to be. From everything I hear, 14U is about the time that girls make the choice to stay with softball or give it up. Is it possible that your DD has made that choice and just hasn't told you yet?

Not sure it was the best tactic to try and get them going, but certainly not rude. Did you single out the 2B or do I just read it that way.

Coaches need to look at themselves sometimes. If they stayed up too late I imagine pre-game wasn't very good so someone should have
gotten on them then instead of trying to wake them up with bases loaded down 3-0.

In the end, I'm sure kids were just being defensive and DD was likely just tired. Let the kids have fun, but put limits on them so they can be ready
for the next day.

klamath632 said:

If 12 errors is fun, your DD may not be as serious about the sport as you appear to be. From everything I hear, 14U is about the time that girls make the choice to stay with softball or give it up. Is it possible that your DD has made that choice and just hasn't told you yet?

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I sometimes wonder. Maybe we need to have a talk? This may have been more about our father-DD relationship rather than SB, though.

As far as them not getting ready that is where I think I would have been the hardest. I always have a set routine for getting ready and we do the same thing every time. This way the girls all get in the "gametime" frame of mind. Then as a coach if you sense they are just going through the motions get on them then. In the end though sometimes you just come out flat and there is nothing you can do about it, which does not mean you should not try, which it sounds like you did just fine and then we have all been there the errors become contagious, girls ball watch at the plate and now the wheels are of the bus and there is no putting them back on. I would not worry about it sound like you tried to do the best you could to save the sinking ship but it had taken on too much water.

I'm trying to understand why you were the one that went out to talk to the infield and not the HC? Did you ask him/her if you could? Or did you just call timeout and walk out there? The HC also asked you to mellow out during warm-ups. Do you wonder why you might not have had his/her support?

I would be more concerned with your DD's reaction rather than the team coming out flat. Obviously she felt that she is allowed to call you rude and there would be no repercussions - I'm gathering she was not pulled from the game? I'm guessing you probably lost some respect from the HC and the team, including your daughter, for the outburst.

PA SB Dad said:

I'm trying to understand why you were the one that went out to talk to the infield and not the HC? Did you ask him/her if you could? Or did you just call timeout and walk out there? The HC also asked you to mellow out during warm-ups. Do you wonder why you might not have had his/her support?

I would be more concerned with your DD's reaction rather than the team coming out flat. Obviously she felt that she is allowed to call you rude and there would be no repercussions - I'm gathering she was not pulled from the game? I'm guessing you probably lost some respect from the HC and the team, including your daughter, for the outburst.

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I am the pitching coach and I did ask permission to go out and talk to the team. I am mostly concerned by my DDs reaction even though it came in the car on the ride home and not on the field. I do believe that I have lost some respect from my DD and the HCs. I am going to ascertain their attitude towards me and possibly resign in order to "spend less time with my DD".