Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Register Log in

Why so serious?

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,447
48
Mundelein, IL
Since my own daughter opted out of playing high school softball her senior year, I've found I have a lot of time on my hands. It doesn't go to waste, though. I tend to wander out and catch games that either involve students of mine, players on my team, kids I know, or sometimes even some random game.

If you've never done it -- gone to a game where you don't have a direct stake in the outcome -- it's really an interesting experience. What you notice the most is how emotional, upset, angry, etc. otherwise seemingly reasonable people can get. I've watched as parents and/or other fans totally freak out over an umpire's call -- even if it's the right call. They get angry over a poor strategic move, a missed play or dozens of other things.

I understand. I've been there too. But when you stop and watch a game you 're not totally invested in you can see how silly it sounds at times.

For most of us, we are watching kids playing a kid's game. Winning that game, that tournament, that league championship may seem important at the time, but it's really not. At least not in the big scheme of things.

We want to see our kids do well, or better yet do their best. But sometimes that desire gets in the way of common sense. If you find your blood boiling and your tolerance level dropping, take a deep breath, take a step back, and ask yourself the Joker's question -- why so serious? Then take a chill pill and be glad you live somewhere that a fastpitch softball game can be your biggest concern in the world.

More...
 
Aug 2, 2008
553
0
I worry sometimes that I might do something unintentially as a parent that might effect my daughters descision to play in the future. Might I ask why your daughter didn't play? And what are some pitfalls for a parent of young players to stay away from?

Thanks,

Mike
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,447
48
Mundelein, IL
She didn't find it fun anymore. She didn't like the coach and his head games (same guy I mentioned who demoted a varsity player to JV for having the audacity to participate in another school activity). She didn't like some of the drama on the team either, which the coach seemed to encourage. She liked the girls overall, though, but not the experience.

She is playing in the summer so it's not that she doesn't like the game. She's actually worked harder than ever on her pitching to get ready.

As for pitfalls to avoid, there's not much to learn from this situation. In high school sports you're given two choices: my way or the highway. She opted for the highway.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
3,852
63
Ken, I think that sometimes kids take their achievements on the field so serious because they don't know how to measure achievement. My dd played tonight. She had a bad game by her standards and was 1-4. After the game I could tell she was upset. I've always found that the best way to approach any child and I recommend this as a coach and parent, is to ask a child, "what do you think?" This lets them talk on their terms. Don't force the issue. Tonight I asked mine that very same question. For us, it is a ritual since I do this every night. She knows that she can talk about anything. Tonight, she asked me what would happen to her average by going 1-4. I asked why it mattered. She hit 3 line drives and had a line drive hit. She is worried that college coaches might check her stats tomorrow and see her average dip. I again asked why that mattered. She started talking about her at bats and realized that she hit it very hard every time up. Then, she moved on to her teammates and how well they did. Then, she asked about practicing this weekend like we do all summer. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she figured it out on her own. Ken, I think a lot of times, parents try to give kids the answers without having them understand the question. I think parents, including myself, want to protect our child so much that we dont' let them learn how to protect themselves. I think that once they understand that, in the end, it is just a game that is played one game at a time, they'll all be fine.
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,447
48
Mundelein, IL
You make some good points, Cannonball. A lot of it is how you view it. But how the coach views it does count too.

You have the right approach in my opinion. Focus on the process, let the results come. One game isn't going to matter that much either way.

It all depends on what the player wants out of it too. Not everyone wants to play at Arizona or UCLA. Some (many?) just want to play. When it ceases to be fun, they lose interest.
 

Latest threads

Forum statistics

Threads
33,622
Messages
486,974
Members
15,299
Latest member
JudeDaRude
Top