When do you leave a team?

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Apr 23, 2014
389
43
East Jabib
At your daughter’s age, she’s not going to get any better as a pitcher without circle time. Playing for a coach who does not give you the opportunity to earn more playing time is also sending a bad message to daughter about knowing her own worth. If you’re not comfortable leaving mid season, see if you can pick up on weekends you may be off or find a mid week local league she can play on. Good luck on whatever path you choose.


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Aug 25, 2019
1,066
113
DD is on a 12U team. It has a roster of 11, but DD is pretty much a spare part. In thirteen tournament games, she's played in only six games (pitched a total of 8 1/3 innings in three pool play games, had five at bats, played two innings in the outfield). During bracket play, she's had three at bats and hasn't done anything else. HC does not change his lineup much - doesn't matter how they produce, how hard they work, he likes certain players in certain positions and DD won't get more playing time because that would mean taking playing time away from one of his favored players. (His batting order 1-7 is pretty much set in stone, and playing positions are similarly pretty set.)

I know DD has to leave this team, but it's a question of when. Her batting coach thinks she should stick with the team until the end of the summer and then try out for a new 14U team in the fall. He says that DD will learn to deal with adversity by fighting for playing time, even if nothing she does will earn her time. He also thinks that DD should spend her time and energy getting better - working harder on her pitching, working harder on her hitting, doing some speed and agility training - and not worry about what her current coaches think because she's building for the future.

Is her batting coach right, or would DD be better off making a move now? I know there are nearby teams looking for players, but I also believe that DD will work harder to improve herself if she's not getting much playing time and might be more complacent if she's on a team where she's playing all the time.

Thoughts?
in 3 pool games your DD pitched 8 and 1/3 innings?....How many innings were played?....Most pool games you lucky to get 5 good innings in, so over three games maybe 15-17 innings?....And your DD pitched half of them?

As for work harder to get in lineup, which certainly sounds like the right thing to do, but all depends on the coach. Some coaches will notice a hard worker, some coaches will be set on their lineup and won't pay attention to hard work, know which coach you have.
 
Aug 25, 2019
1,066
113
DD was in the exact same spot as a first-year 12. When June rolled around she had 1.3 innings pitched and a dozen at-bats, on an 11-person team with two other pitchers. It was excruciating.

As others have said, we made a commitment to the team and had a very hard time breaking it, especially because DD was friendly with all the girls, some of whom she had played with for years. But once July came and tryouts started getting posted, I told the coach that we had to go find another team. We left before the last two tournaments.

Looking back, I can’t say anything positive came from staying. It remains the worst four months of DD’s softball life and she almost quit over it. I was very focused on ‘doing the right thing’ but I look back and wonder if I was just saving face with a group of parents I almost never see.


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Isn't it funny that you were "doing the right thing" yet the coach wasn't.
 
Aug 23, 2016
359
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in 3 pool games your DD pitched 8 and 1/3 innings?....How many innings were played?....Most pool games you lucky to get 5 good innings in, so over three games maybe 15-17 innings?....And your DD pitched half of them?

No, you misunderstand. Her team has played more than 3 pool games. AS a percent of innings, DD gets maybe 25% of pool play innings and 0% of bracket play (no matter how many bracket games the team plays).
 
Aug 23, 2016
359
43
Looking back, I can’t say anything positive came from staying. It remains the worst four months of DD’s softball life and she almost quit over it. I was very focused on ‘doing the right thing’ but I look back and wonder if I was just saving face with a group of parents I almost never see.

This really resonates with me. DD loves her teammates, and I'm friendly with the parents (including some that I've known since before DD ever started playing softball).

At your daughter’s age, she’s not going to get any better as a pitcher without circle time. Playing for a coach who does not give you the opportunity to earn more playing time is also sending a bad message to daughter about knowing her own worth. If you’re not comfortable leaving mid season, see if you can pick up on weekends you may be off or find a mid week local league she can play on. Good luck on whatever path you choose.

I will definitely keep this post in mind. DD's teams play just about every weekend and during the week there's either practice or lessons every day, so there aren't many opportunities to guest play. But if I think that DD's self-esteem is hurting, I'll definitely pull the plug on this team. (And I'll keep an eye out for opportunities that we can't pass up.)
 
Jul 4, 2020
14
3
N.E.
The longer you wait, the more potential learning loss your daughter is experiencing. If you were being judged on performance that is one thing, but if its no matter how you do, you still don't get, my best advice is leave. I would start by guesting for other organizations and see how that goes. You and your DD have to try out for the team and much as you have to try the team out for you.
If she isn't getting the reps, she is not going to develop. If the coach is keeping her down, like the 'ole saying goes, " don't let the bastards keep you down.

As an aside, I am seeing alot of the same thing your experiencing. Watch out for the daddy ball, its awful for the team and the parents watching the games. It builds animosity and creates a toxic environment....... there are likely greener pastures out there. Move when it is convenient for you, the team has not earned your "doing the right thing"
 
Jul 14, 2018
982
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I just want to add a “grass isn’t always greener” warning. In the OP, you said that your daughter has pitched 8 innings in 13 tournament games. Assuming 13 games means 65-70 innings total, that’s not too bad.

A number three pitcher should expect to get about 10% of the innings. If there’s no prospect of moving into that number two spot (where the percentage is probably 20-30%) then you should be keeping an eye open for opportunities.

Just be aware that moving to a team that already has two pitchers might land you in the same spot. That’s okay, if the new coach is open to a new pitcher challenging for innings. The alternative is going to a team with no pitching. That will get you all the innings you want, but there’s going to be a lot of losing (this is where DD is now).


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Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
I just want to add a “grass isn’t always greener” warning. In the OP, you said that your daughter has pitched 8 innings in 13 tournament games. Assuming 13 games means 65-70 innings total, that’s not too bad.

A number three pitcher should expect to get about 10% of the innings. If there’s no prospect of moving into that number two spot (where the percentage is probably 20-30%) then you should be keeping an eye open for opportunities.

Just be aware that moving to a team that already has two pitchers might land you in the same spot. That’s okay, if the new coach is open to a new pitcher challenging for innings. The alternative is going to a team with no pitching. That will get you all the innings you want, but there’s going to be a lot of losing (this is where DD is now).


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Fine point. I've seen a lot of families leave and the new team is worse.
 
Feb 22, 2021
22
3
Just be aware that moving to a team that already has two pitchers might land you in the same spot. That’s okay, if the new coach is open to a new pitcher challenging for innings. The alternative is going to a team with no pitching. That will get you all the innings you want, but there’s going to be a lot of losing (this is where DD is now).
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Yep. We thought about switching teams but any competitive teams already have a decent set of pitchers. It is frustrating as a parent though when coaches don't always see the potential in front of them. Our 1st base girl had 4 errors in one of our pool play games. Nothing changed for the elimination game because she is a coach's daughter. DD is seeing 50%+ mound time, so we are just riding it out and hoping to make a better team next season. It's a struggle though when nobody is happy.
 

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