When do you leave a team?

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Aug 23, 2016
359
43
DD is on a 12U team. It has a roster of 11, but DD is pretty much a spare part. In thirteen tournament games, she's played in only six games (pitched a total of 8 1/3 innings in three pool play games, had five at bats, played two innings in the outfield). During bracket play, she's had three at bats and hasn't done anything else. HC does not change his lineup much - doesn't matter how they produce, how hard they work, he likes certain players in certain positions and DD won't get more playing time because that would mean taking playing time away from one of his favored players. (His batting order 1-7 is pretty much set in stone, and playing positions are similarly pretty set.)

I know DD has to leave this team, but it's a question of when. Her batting coach thinks she should stick with the team until the end of the summer and then try out for a new 14U team in the fall. He says that DD will learn to deal with adversity by fighting for playing time, even if nothing she does will earn her time. He also thinks that DD should spend her time and energy getting better - working harder on her pitching, working harder on her hitting, doing some speed and agility training - and not worry about what her current coaches think because she's building for the future.

Is her batting coach right, or would DD be better off making a move now? I know there are nearby teams looking for players, but I also believe that DD will work harder to improve herself if she's not getting much playing time and might be more complacent if she's on a team where she's playing all the time.

Thoughts?
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
I'm not a fan of leaving mid-season. But I completely understand that Spring/Summer may feel like a waste if you stay.

How are practices? Does she get lots of reps there? Is she close with the girls? Do you know what team you'd go to (and if it will be better)?
 
Jun 23, 2018
222
63
Texas
We have been thru this several times. Have handled the 1st one wrong and almost killed DD's spirit and love for the game. May have been a little quick on the 2nd, but the timing and opportunity was right so we jumped. No regrets.

I agree with the hitting coach up to the point where your DD has had enough. Don't force her to stay in a bad situation. If she can handle what is happening and is fine with battling thru it, then stay, but if the drive home involves tears and questioning whether to play ball, get out quick. Forcing her to fight a losing battle will not do anything good for her. But if she wants to fight and can get thru the summer, it can be a good learning experience. You know your kid, only you can make those decisions.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
If you can find a better place now, go and don't look back. There is no "fighting for playing time" on a team where the coach can't figure out how to get 11 rostered players involved in every game. Take that effort where it will be better appreciated and utilized. If there's no good spot to jump to just yet, keep working at practice and keep your eyes open. Look at the teams you see at tournaments for thin rosters.
 
Jul 27, 2015
235
43
I have lived through it. In our case, we had actually signed a piece of paper saying we would play for the year. Had we broken it, they were not going to take us to court, but I had given my word. No where in the document was there an out for what was going on. So we stuck it out. I like to think it taught my daughter that we keep our word even if it makes things uncomfortable.

Now trust me, I looked at the document I signed to see if I could find an out. I was not against leaving, but we just could not do it. As an aside, the current team we are on has no such provision, and we can leave at any time. of course the coach collected the fees up front. (we have no intentions of leaving. Just pointing out the differences)

Looking back. I sometimes think what a waste of an entire year it was. And then other times, I think she came of that as a better player physically and mentally. Life is not fair. Sometimes you get stuck and have to suck it up.

Again, this was us. I have no idea exactly how your situation is. My daughter got a whole lot more playing time than you daughter is getting. Based on what you wrote, I would leave if the option was there.
 
May 7, 2015
842
93
SoCal
For a roster size of 11, it's completely unacceptable to not be able to rotate players in enough to give meaningful reps to all the kids on that team.. This is a poor reflection of the coaches abilities, and that alone necessitates (for me) a change for your DD.

That being said, your DD is getting to the age where she needs to be able to find a way into the order... This competition thing isn't going away, if anything it just gets harder. You will face this scenario again in the future, so learning to deal with it now is more desirable. The most reliable way to get into game is to double and triple down on the hitting lessons and weekly reps.. It's simple, hit well = playing time. Once the hitting is firing on all cylinders, increase defensive or pitching abilities.

My DD has been there and done that, lots of sleepless nights and time/$$$$ spent... Good Luck, your DD can do it!
 
Jun 6, 2016
2,714
113
Chicago
Unless you feel you were lied to when you joined the team (a promise of more equal playing time, etc.), stick with it and join a new team in the fall. It's not a good situation, but you made a commitment, and "not playing enough" isn't a good reason to abandon that.

12U might be a little young for this, but she could talk to the coach to see how she could earn more playing time. Ask if there's anything he'd like her to work on. Ask if there's a position of need she could learn. How he responds to that could tell you a lot, too.
 
Jul 14, 2018
982
93
DD was in the exact same spot as a first-year 12. When June rolled around she had 1.3 innings pitched and a dozen at-bats, on an 11-person team with two other pitchers. It was excruciating.

As others have said, we made a commitment to the team and had a very hard time breaking it, especially because DD was friendly with all the girls, some of whom she had played with for years. But once July came and tryouts started getting posted, I told the coach that we had to go find another team. We left before the last two tournaments.

Looking back, I can’t say anything positive came from staying. It remains the worst four months of DD’s softball life and she almost quit over it. I was very focused on ‘doing the right thing’ but I look back and wonder if I was just saving face with a group of parents I almost never see.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
I have lived through it. In our case, we had actually signed a piece of paper saying we would play for the year. Had we broken it, they were not going to take us to court, but I had given my word. No where in the document was there an out for what was going on. So we stuck it out. I like to think it taught my daughter that we keep our word even if it makes things uncomfortable.

Now trust me, I looked at the document I signed to see if I could find an out. I was not against leaving, but we just could not do it. As an aside, the current team we are on has no such provision, and we can leave at any time. of course the coach collected the fees up front. (we have no intentions of leaving. Just pointing out the differences)

Looking back. I sometimes think what a waste of an entire year it was. And then other times, I think she came of that as a better player physically and mentally. Life is not fair. Sometimes you get stuck and have to suck it up.

Again, this was us. I have no idea exactly how your situation is. My daughter got a whole lot more playing time than you daughter is getting. Based on what you wrote, I would leave if the option was there.

I've never heard of a written agreement such as the one you describe, nor did I ever pay anything beyond uniforms up front. A team that is well run and well coached doesn't need to hold people hostage.
 

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