I also have an issue with the coach being willing to lie to the other girl as to why he would be removing her! Either she is ASA certified, and therefore eligible, or she isn't, in which case he put the team in peril by allowing her on the team in the first place. What a cop out....wouldn't want my kid playing for this person.
what would you do?
- Thread starter softball_chic_12
- Start date
Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch
Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.
I also have an issue with the coach being willing to lie to the other girl as to why he would be removing her! Either she is ASA certified, and therefore eligible, or she isn't, in which case he put the team in peril by allowing her on the team in the first place. What a cop out....wouldn't want my kid playing for this person.
Shame on you for playing the "her or me" card, shame on the coach for following along. It sounds cliche, but ther is no "I" in team. Sluggers is right, you don't have to be friends or even like your teammates, but you have to play with them. consider this as good training for the real world. I work with a whole lot of people, some I like, some I don't, none I'd invite to my house, but I work with them all.
The coach sounds very weak. If she is that bad, let the coach deal with the behavior. If he doesn't, thats your time to react.
The coach sounds very weak. If she is that bad, let the coach deal with the behavior. If he doesn't, thats your time to react.
- Jul 9, 2010
- 289
- 0
SRU - shame on you for saying some of that without knowing the circumstances. Read my post above, and tell me if you'd let your DD play with that kid.
You don't know the whole story, so just leave it there.
You don't know the whole story, so just leave it there.
- Dec 15, 2009
- 188
- 0
i wasnt playing the "me or her" card. i just needed to know if she was on the team or not. and no, she hasn't matured. recently she had issues with the school and laws. and i found out my family wasn't the only one doing that. if she stayed about half of the team would have left. i was the only one who asked the coach so i knew what was happening. all i did was say "is she playing on the team?" i never said if she stays i'm going. my mom implied that. and by the end of the practice all of the girls' parents were complaining about her. so if she stay he would have gained 1 girl but lost about 10. when the final decision was made a person in our team organization said that he did the right thing because of her past. and another one who is more up-to-date on the our activities outside of softball and people who want to play for us said that the coach made the right decision because of her recent issues. and the after practice talk that my mom and i had with the coach was that i had another offer but because my family is close with him, we felt we should share information we knew. well, apparently other parents did so during practice too. so....yes, at that point it seemed like i was playing the "me or her" card. and i'll be honest i kinda felt that way too. but as people keep saying, if you sleep well at night with your decision then you made the right one. well, i know i made the right one. and yes i do know we don't play or work with people we like all of the time. trust me, i'm very aware of that and go through it very often. but there's a difference between playing/working with someone you don't like and playing/working with someone who will do nothing but make life absolutely difficult for you when you don't have to play/work with them. there's many details i could go into, but won't.
Thanks, Chic. In 40 years of softball, I can recall 2 dangerous children (1 boy, 1 girl) that I did not want my kids playing with. As I was growing up, I can remember one time, my mom saying "I don't want you around her."
And 1 time, I told my daughter that she couldn't ride in the car with a certain boy. He was killed in a roll over accident, a few months later.
So, sometimes Mom does know best.
I am glad that everything worked out. You live in a much different world with cell phones and the Internet, than even my kids did.
And 1 time, I told my daughter that she couldn't ride in the car with a certain boy. He was killed in a roll over accident, a few months later.
So, sometimes Mom does know best.
I am glad that everything worked out. You live in a much different world with cell phones and the Internet, than even my kids did.
- Dec 15, 2009
- 188
- 0
thanks Amy. yes, mom's do sometimes know best. and that's why i love my parents. they'll push me to my limits and protect me all of the time. one of our family rules is once you sign up for a team you are not allowed to quit. the only way out is wait until the end of the season and don't sign up next year. so when my parents agreed about this situation, i knew it was very serious.
You did the right thing, Chic. DD has a favorite coach, like you. He has asked if she'll play ball for him again. We said yes. A player from her current team (sort of) is going to play with him. Instead of going into details with the coach (who I also consider a friend), I simply called and told him that we have reconsidered our decision and it is best for us for DD to not play. I hate it for DD, but after watching things unfold, as most of us figured they would, we made the right decision.
It is never easy to be on a team that has strange dynamics - especially if someone in particular is the cause of the trouble. I have made very clear to DD that if she is in a situation where there is someone on the team she cannot get along with for whatever reason, let it go - she is there for one reason and that is to get her job done on the field and at the plate. DD adores softball and loves to be someone the younger players can look to for advice or guidance. She has realized this year that she is a role model. It has been very gratifying for me as a parent to witness the transformation from just a player to someone younger girls admire. Seeing how she has taken a really young new player under her wing to help her makes my heart beam with pride. I love that you, Chic, are a role model for younger girls, too. It is sometimes difficult in life to walk away or choose the right path. When you know that others are looking up to you and watching your every move, it makes those decisions a little easier!
Good luck with your team and have fun! These are the years that you will make memories - with your teammates and coaches. Enjoy every minute of it!!
It is never easy to be on a team that has strange dynamics - especially if someone in particular is the cause of the trouble. I have made very clear to DD that if she is in a situation where there is someone on the team she cannot get along with for whatever reason, let it go - she is there for one reason and that is to get her job done on the field and at the plate. DD adores softball and loves to be someone the younger players can look to for advice or guidance. She has realized this year that she is a role model. It has been very gratifying for me as a parent to witness the transformation from just a player to someone younger girls admire. Seeing how she has taken a really young new player under her wing to help her makes my heart beam with pride. I love that you, Chic, are a role model for younger girls, too. It is sometimes difficult in life to walk away or choose the right path. When you know that others are looking up to you and watching your every move, it makes those decisions a little easier!
Good luck with your team and have fun! These are the years that you will make memories - with your teammates and coaches. Enjoy every minute of it!!
For those that would quit/leave a team like this -
You must either have no confidence in the coach or the kid isn't that bad.
I know the team my daughter is on, one of two things would have happened. This kid wouldn't have a behavior problem and if she did she would be sent packing. It's really very simple.
Good coaches would control this one way or another.
You must either have no confidence in the coach or the kid isn't that bad.
I know the team my daughter is on, one of two things would have happened. This kid wouldn't have a behavior problem and if she did she would be sent packing. It's really very simple.
Good coaches would control this one way or another.
I agree. But, there aren't a whole slew of those around rec ball, Little League, school and travel ball, anymore. The parent needs to do what is best, when it comes to their DD.
Heck, I knew a college team here in AZ. that had a small group of girls that were stirring the post and causing trouble all of the time.
