Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting some more....

[FP_Catcher_Dad]

I mean, obviously, no word means no spot, but a little courtesy is always appreciated.

My DD received an email a week after a tryout thanking her for coming. In the same email they say, contact me if you would like to know why you were not selected and what can you do to improve (they also told the kids in person that they were welcome to ask why they were not selected).

We naively told our daughter to reply back, and she did with a lot of class... That although disappointed, she understands and thanked them for the opportunity... That she would like to hear the feedback to have a better chance at next year's tryout... And that she would like to keep in contact from time to time to tell them about her progress. Keep in mind she is 13.

Two weeks later, we have heard no feedback or nothing from them. Maybe we just need to give them more time, or maybe they will never answer. But if they don't answer, after they explicitly offered to tell my DD why she didn't got selected, then we are not giving them any second, or maybe in this case a third thought. Not worth our time. If it was me, I don't care, but not answering back to a 13 year old after the class she showed in that email, shows that the organization is not at her level.

My DD will be playing with a team that actually wants her, and a team she wants to play in... She will be seeing a lot of action and that is all that matters.

I only hope is that if she face the team that she tried out for in that other organization next season, that she shows them the meaning of "Thou shall not steal" by throwing out any player that attempts to steal... just kidding... but seriously, her record is 4 in a single game and she will break that record with them...


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[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

My DD received an email a week after a tryout thanking her for coming. In the same email they say, contact me if you would like to know why you were not selected and what can you do to improve (they also told the kids in person that they were welcome to ask why they were not selected).

We naively told our daughter to reply back, and she did with a lot of class... That although disappointed, she understands and thanked them for the opportunity... That she would like to hear the feedback to have a better chance at next year's tryout... And that she would like to keep in contact from time to time to tell them about her progress. Keep in mind she is 13.

Two weeks later, we have heard no feedback or nothing from them. Maybe we just need to give them more time, or maybe they will never answer. But if they don't answer, after they explicitly offered to tell my DD why she didn't got selected, then we are not giving them any second, or maybe in this case a third thought. Not worth our time. If it was me, I don't care, but not answering back to a 13 year old after the class she showed in that email, shows that the organization is not at her level.

My DD will be playing with a team that actually wants her, and a team she wants to play in... She will be seeing a lot of action and that is all that matters.

I only hope that of we have to face the team that she tried out for in that other organization, that my DD shows them the meaning of "Thou shall not steal" by throwing out any player that attempts to steal... just kidding... but seriously, her record is 4 in a single game and she will break that record with them...


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My DD went through this, too. Twice because she is a glutton for punishment, I guess.

The first time she tried out for this particular org, she was 12. They made a huge deal about offering feedback to every girl, blah blah blah.

She emailed them twice. Crickets. She never went to another tryout for them.

3 years later, they pursued her. She came to a private workout - was told she'd be better suited for a different team in the org. Ok, cool. They took video of her and said, we'll be in touch. No response for weeks. Finally a text message during their tryouts (for which we were gone), "Lots of talent out there, thanks for your patience. We understand if you need to make other choices." She was like, um, nevermind. Not worth fighting for, if you're at the bottom of the list.

This org is goals for everyone in my area, and don't get me wrong - if she had been offered a spot on the original team she was invited to work out with (it was an 18g) she probably would have accepted at that time because she is 14 and that would be a huge accomplishment - but we knew it wasn't likely and it was more about getting her to see that she had other options, eventually.

Two weeks later, she got an invite to second round of tryouts for them, for the team (16) they had suggested she belong on. She didn't go.

Her takeaway from it? It's like dating: you go with the one you like, who likes you. Don't settle for a team you don't really want to play with, and don't go with a team where you weren't #1 on their list.

Life lessons 101, I guess.

Sorry your dd went through that - and let her know that it says more about the org than it does about her. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

 

[crystlemc]

Update: One of the three teams referenced above had DD come out last night and catch, field, and hit once more. Just to make us sweat a little more, HC told us he needed to "sleep on it." UGH. He actually called about an hour later and offered DD the starting catcher position. Wanted immediate commitment. We told him she has two more tryouts and we need until the end of the weekend. He said he's seeing another catcher on Sunday and, if he likes her, whoever commits first gets the starting position. Ugh. We are tempted to commit, but I am a little doubtful about him truly playing an "A" schedule (this will be a new team, but with an established org) and I've heard a few negative grumblings about the coaching staff, although I've liked them so far. So, I'm breathing a sigh of relief. Still not over quite yet, but close.

Any coach that offers the "starting catcher" or starting whatever position in tryouts, is a coach to be avoided. If coaches are truly about the team, they don't know who will shake out as the #1 anything until they start playing together, and even then, they can't predict improvement, work ethic, or heart.

Usually when they promise starting positions, it's only to get you on the roster.

 

[CMMom1740]

Another update: Tryout this afternoon, offer given on the spot. My husband took her, so coach also called me and kept me on phone 30 minutes raving about DD; the how coachable she is, can tell how much work she's done since he saw her last (two weeks ago), how the girls already on the team already love her, etc... Asked about playing time and he didn't BS me. Playing time will vary; he won't claim it will be 50/50 b/c each of the two catchers have different strengths/weaknesses and it will depend on what's needed for that particular game/tournament. I think we've found our home.

 

[BT3100]

Another update: Tryout this afternoon, offer given on the spot. My husband took her, so coach also called me and kept me on phone 30 minutes raving about DD; the how coachable she is, can tell how much work she's done since he saw her last (two weeks ago), how the girls already on the team already love her, etc... Asked about playing time and he didn't BS me. Playing time will vary; he won't claim it will be 50/50 b/c each of the two catchers have different strengths/weaknesses and it will depend on what's needed for that particular game/tournament. I think we've found our home.

Great job!!!!
Congratulations!!

 

[BT3100]

A few words on feedback from tryouts...

1) Teach your DD that tryouts are like a job interview. Very few if any companies will give you feedback after an interview...

2) As a parent you should watch carefully and forget who is your kid. What do you see? Be critical. All coaches will give the nod to the athletic looking kid over those who don't look the part.

3) If your DD is trying out for SS watch the SS drills... is there a girl wearing the team gear playing SS and tearing it up? Then that's who your DD is trying out against.

We've been pretty lucky DD has received an offer from most teams she has tried out for but I remember when she was a young 12. I took her to a 14U showcase team.
Not sure what I was thinking but they were very nice to her during the tryout but DD was out classed that day. In all aspects of the game.
Coach shared the outcome with me while DD as packing up her stuff. On the drive home I asked her how she thought she did. She looked at me and laughed and said "nothing lost, nothing gained, I need to work harder".
Point is that I knew 15 minutes in.. As a parent on a softball site (you know the game) you know the answer.
There's a team for every kid and just because it may not be the team she wants today doesn't mean it won't be in the near future.

 

[FP_Catcher_Dad]

A few words on feedback from tryouts...

1) Teach your DD that tryouts are like a job interview. Very few if any companies will give you feedback after an interview...

When I interview candidates for a job, I don't offer to provide feedback. This organization offered to provide feedback twice, in person and by email, and they haven't. If I ever offer to provide feedback, I do it. It is a matter of keeping my credibility. So, I understand what you are trying to say here, but credibility is the issue. If you know you are not going to provide feedback, do not offer it to begin with, and do not follow up with an email saying "do not hesitate to contact us if you want to know why you were not selected".

I also recognize that we are very new to this environment, but if this is how things are, then there are many other more important lessons that I will need to teach my DD, mainly about these type of organizations honesty and credibility.

2) As a parent you should watch carefully and forget who is your kid. What do you see? Be critical. All coaches will give the nod to the athletic looking kid over those who don't look the part.

I don't understand what you are saying here, especially when you say that we need to forget who is your kid? Are you trying to say that we need to be as honest as possible with our kid's ability when going into these tryouts? I don't have any problems with this. My DD is 13 years old and was trying out for a U14 team, not trying to play up. We don't believe in playing up - at least not yet, for her. We are realistic. What I saw there in tryouts, especially catchers, there were no standouts.

Maybe the answer is that my DD had a mildly sprained ankle and couldn't do all drills. But we asked at the beginning of the tryouts and they told us, "Is OK, she can still try out", which in my interpretation means that she will have the same chance as others. But if that was going to be a factor, I would've appreciated that they told us that she would not have the same chance, then I would not have allowed her to try out. For the other team she tried out and got a spot, they were very concerned and told us she would get the same chance. She didn't do all drills, but got an offer the next day because they recognized her talents.

3) If your DD is trying out for SS watch the SS drills... is there a girl wearing the team gear playing SS and tearing it up? Then that's who your DD is trying out against.

Agree.

There's a team for every kid and just because it may not be the team she wants today doesn't mean it won't be in the near future.

Agree. For our DD, she already is in the team she wants to be in.

The whole issue here is simple... Don't offer to provide feedback if you know you can't or you won't. You don't do that in job interviews... you don't do that if you are a professional.

 

[Lenski]

The whole issue here is simple... Don't offer to provide feedback if you know you can't or you won't. You don't do that in job interviews... you don't do that if you are a professional.

You must be in HR and work for a reputable company.

The majority of youth coaches are not professionals. They talk a big game and very rarely deliver. They are like the used car salesmen at many "Buy Here, Pay Here" lots. They say want you want to hear to avoid questions. The trick is finding a reputable coach. So, if a coach doesn't deliver on their word it's a good thing that you didn't end up on their team anyway.

 

[grcsftbll]

You must be in HR and work for a reputable company.

The majority of youth coaches are not professionals. They talk a big game and very rarely deliver. They are like the used car salesmen at many "Buy Here, Pay Here" lots. They say want you want to hear to avoid questions. The trick is finding a reputable coach. So, if a coach doesn't deliver on their word it's a good thing that you didn't end up on their team anyway.

Ha! Good comparison.

 

[FP_Catcher_Dad]

You must be in HR and work for a reputable company.

The majority of youth coaches are not professionals. They talk a big game and very rarely deliver. They are like the used car salesmen at many "Buy Here, Pay Here" lots. They say want you want to hear to avoid questions. The trick is finding a reputable coach. So, if a coach doesn't deliver on their word it's a good thing that you didn't end up on their team anyway.

Not HR, but Yes, a reputable company.

As I said, we had been involved in travel ball for about a year, and this is the first time our DD had gone to multiple tryouts (2).

This was supposed to be a reputable organization, not a crappy one. One of the largest in our area. Recognized in multiple venues. More than one team in each category. More than 15 to 18 years doing this.... Certainly not the bottom of the food chain here.

Lesson learned for the family here. I guess we were just expecting a little bit more from an organization like that. Now we know what to expect, reality sets in. Thanks for educating us.

Used Car salesmen... Ha! . Funny but a good analogy for us to understand. However, while is true that the used car salesman will tell you what you want to hear, at least they call you back.

Agreed that we are all better off in the team she is now.

We will have to reevaluate if next year she goes to other tryouts, if the organization she is in now wants her, unless she gets invited (somehow). I don't like the drama.


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