Unprepared Coach

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Jul 3, 2021
31
8
First, let me say that I know the HUGE time commitment involved with coaching. It's usually not a paid gig and it's a huge sacrifice. I've coached one rec season and I appreciate anyone that is willing to step up and help lead a team. I'm also going to admit up front that as a parent I'm at fault for my daughter being in this scenario by not asking enough questions and doing enough research. That's probably why I'm so frustrated.

Today was our first tournament as part of a 2nd year 10U select team that's part of a well established organization in our area. The coach has been running practices mostly by himself up to this point and despite repeated offers to help he has been uninterested or dismissive at best. I was concerned, but figured surely he had things worked out. He showed up for the tournament today and our select team had no other coaches. He was going to run the entire thing from 3rd base. That includes the dugout and the first base coach responsibilities. We were told to arrive 50 minutes early, but he did no hitting or fielding practice other than throws to first. He had no typical team equipment with him.

I'm now officially worried that my daughter is going to lose a year of development time at the team level and be woefully unprepared for the jump to 12U at tryouts next Summer. Yes, we will work on things at home, but it's different than practicing with a team and having coaches guide you along the way. I'm torn between the lesson of commitment to her team and what's best for her if she wants to continue to compete at the select level next season.

Looking for advice from many of you here that have much more experience than I do! What would you do in this scenario?
 
Dec 18, 2016
163
28
First, let me say that I know the HUGE time commitment involved with coaching. It's usually not a paid gig and it's a huge sacrifice. I've coached one rec season and I appreciate anyone that is willing to step up and help lead a team. I'm also going to admit up front that as a parent I'm at fault for my daughter being in this scenario by not asking enough questions and doing enough research. That's probably why I'm so frustrated.

Today was our first tournament as part of a 2nd year 10U select team that's part of a well established organization in our area. The coach has been running practices mostly by himself up to this point and despite repeated offers to help he has been uninterested or dismissive at best. I was concerned, but figured surely he had things worked out. He showed up for the tournament today and our select team had no other coaches. He was going to run the entire thing from 3rd base. That includes the dugout and the first base coach responsibilities. We were told to arrive 50 minutes early, but he did no hitting or fielding practice other than throws to first. He had no typical team equipment with him.

I'm now officially worried that my daughter is going to lose a year of development time at the team level and be woefully unprepared for the jump to 12U at tryouts next Summer. Yes, we will work on things at home, but it's different than practicing with a team and having coaches guide you along the way. I'm torn between the lesson of commitment to her team and what's best for her if she wants to continue to compete at the select level next season.

Looking for advice from many of you here that have much more experience than I do! What would you do in this scenario?
While I agree that it may be challenging to coach 10 year olds with only one coach, it's like wrangling cats. I also would question what your expectations are of a 10U "select" team. While of course there are some very good 10U teams out there, I think the biggest learning at that age comes from learning to enjoy the game and to learn the fundamentals.

How is the team reacting to his methods? Did they look like a hot mess or did they look like they knew what a group of 10 year olds would typically know about competitive softball?

My DD is 2nd year 16's and I have a 2nd year 12 as well. It can be a bit unnerving sometimes when things are going differently than we expect. Is she having fun and is she learning?

IMO.....at this age, that's the most important thing.
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
First, let me say that I know the HUGE time commitment involved with coaching. It's usually not a paid gig and it's a huge sacrifice. I've coached one rec season and I appreciate anyone that is willing to step up and help lead a team. I'm also going to admit up front that as a parent I'm at fault for my daughter being in this scenario by not asking enough questions and doing enough research. That's probably why I'm so frustrated.

Today was our first tournament as part of a 2nd year 10U select team that's part of a well established organization in our area. The coach has been running practices mostly by himself up to this point and despite repeated offers to help he has been uninterested or dismissive at best. I was concerned, but figured surely he had things worked out. He showed up for the tournament today and our select team had no other coaches. He was going to run the entire thing from 3rd base. That includes the dugout and the first base coach responsibilities. We were told to arrive 50 minutes early, but he did no hitting or fielding practice other than throws to first. He had no typical team equipment with him.

I'm now officially worried that my daughter is going to lose a year of development time at the team level and be woefully unprepared for the jump to 12U at tryouts next Summer. Yes, we will work on things at home, but it's different than practicing with a team and having coaches guide you along the way. I'm torn between the lesson of commitment to her team and what's best for her if she wants to continue to compete at the select level next season.

Looking for advice from many of you here that have much more experience than I do! What would you do in this scenario?
Appears some serious control issue going on.

Are any other parents talking about it?
Perhaps as a group communicating...maybe an intervention lol ?!
 
Jul 3, 2021
31
8
While I agree that it may be challenging to coach 10 year olds with only one coach, it's like wrangling cats. I also would question what your expectations are of a 10U "select" team. While of course there are some very good 10U teams out there, I think the biggest learning at that age comes from learning to enjoy the game and to learn the fundamentals.

How is the team reacting to his methods? Did they look like a hot mess or did they look like they knew what a group of 10 year olds would typically know about competitive softball?

My DD is 2nd year 16's and I have a 2nd year 12 as well. It can be a bit unnerving sometimes when things are going differently than we expect. Is she having fun and is she learning?

IMO.....at this age, that's the most important thing.

All fair questions and I totally get the quotes on "select." My expectation was simply a step above rec from a learning and coaching experience. I used the other 10U tournament teams as a sanity check and they all had 3-4 people running their teams. It was 90% hot mess because they just weren't prepared. To be clear, I don't care about the score of these games. I just care that they're having fun AND learning.

It's hard to learn though when everything comes from only 1 person. Practice consists of a lot of standing around. She's having fun because she's playing the sport that she loves, but she's not learning because there's limited opportunities to interact with the coach and get actual instruction. I'm trying desperately to be the good parent who doesn't coach or say anything from the sidelines, but I also feel like my hair is turning a little more gray with each practice! It's twice as hard after having coached a team so it's like fighting off what's become natural at this point. lol

I'd be good with all of that (and the gray hair...that's not really avoidable anyway) if I actually thought she would get something out of it. I'm also trying not to over-react which is why I won't talk to the coach about it this weekend and why I'm posting here in my safe space. ;)
 
Jul 3, 2021
31
8
Appears some serious control issue going on.

Are any other parents talking about it?
Perhaps as a group communicating...maybe an intervention lol ?!

We've lost one player already. Some parents are talking. Others are stuck on the "select" ball status, but that will wear off eventually. Which is my other concern: We're down to 9 players. If we lose too much more we're at risk of not being able to play in the Spring. The coach isn't concerned and said they'll just pick up players looking for teams before the Spring season. He is not actively trying to fill the roster spots currently. I provided a guest player from my rec team for the games today.
 
Dec 18, 2016
163
28
All fair questions and I totally get the quotes on "select." My expectation was simply a step above rec from a learning and coaching experience. I used the other 10U tournament teams as a sanity check and they all had 3-4 people running their teams. It was 90% hot mess because they just weren't prepared. To be clear, I don't care about the score of these games. I just care that they're having fun AND learning.

It's hard to learn though when everything comes from only 1 person. Practice consists of a lot of standing around. She's having fun because she's playing the sport that she loves, but she's not learning because there's limited opportunities to interact with the coach and get actual instruction. I'm trying desperately to be the good parent who doesn't coach or say anything from the sidelines, but I also feel like my hair is turning a little more gray with each practice! It's twice as hard after having coached a team so it's like fighting off what's become natural at this point. lol

I'd be good with all of that (and the gray hair...that's not really avoidable anyway) if I actually thought she would get something out of it. I'm also trying not to over-react which is why I won't talk to the coach about it this weekend and why I'm posting here in my safe space. ;)
lol...I have a pretty good amount of gray hair and I do blame both my DD's. All the questions are fair to ask and TBH....I have coached 10's and 12's and to try and get a good practice in with only myself would be challenging.

Maybe wait a few weeks to see if things change and reach out to the coach and ask him about it. If he's going to continue to run solo and your DD isn't getting the coaching that she needs....you can always play out your fall ball agreement and let him know you'll be going elsewhere.
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
If people have volunteered to help with no luck I would bail on the Team if possible. I know we talk about commit here but walking away is a lesson too.

If nothing else they should have a player coaching 1st and another one keeping score.

With that said no long term damage or development is in jeopardy so if she wants to hang on it will be fine.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
While I suppose it's possible for one coach to effectively run a younger team, I've not seen it. I don't know how one person makes that work. I've also seen teams at older age groups show up with one coach, and I don't think DD's teams ever lost in that situation. To do practice and run a game right, you need more than one person.
 
Jun 10, 2018
55
18
NY
If your DD is having fun, and she gets lots of playing time, its 10U, just leave her alone and let her play. Maybe try not going to every game and practice if that is your habit? Just a suggestion. Not judging.
 
Jan 31, 2011
453
43
You said this is a well established organization in your area. To me that means the club has more teams and someone that runs the org. I'd talk to your coach and see what he says after the first tourney. Maybe he has limited experience. If you get nowhere with him, then talk to the club leader and just express your concerns. I'd do that before I bailed. However, I agree with you. 10U is an important development age. Having fun is a top priority, but learning fundamentals is important too. You can only do so much at home. Kids also need to learn the game and game rules in a practice setting. Sure, you can hit/throw/field at home to build her up that way, but its not the same as learning to tag up on a fly ball, field a ground ball and make a good throw in a pressure situation, catch a fly ball in traffic, call off your teammate, etc. Plus baserunning skills can be overlooked, but one of the biggest parts of the game. You can't effectively teach that at home.

Best of luck. Its a hard situation. You sound like a reasonable person so approach it that way. One regret I have is that I let loyalty get in the way of doing what was best form my oldest DD. We should have switched teams when opportunities were handed to her in HS but didn't...
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,478
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top