Trust...

[ang4yanks]

Folks, I'm sorry I posted this in the Catching Forum...I meant to post it here...

Aggressive Coaching vs. Defensive/Strategic Coaching and Player Instinct...

I am posting two clips (back to back) which illustrates two coaching styles (aggressive and defensive/strategic). The young inspirational competitor instinctually combines those styles and finds success. I am posting it for these purposes and they can be applied to any sport.

It is in my top five movies..."Searching for Bobby Fischer"

Great, great message for sport parents, competitors, coaches, sportsmanship, and friendship. Maybe not for everyone, but four stars in my book.

The culmination of my post is split between the end of the first clip and the beginning of the second.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eNVZpa84sss&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WgzDxArND3o&feature=related

Whether it's
move by move,
pitch by pitch,
defensive coaching strategy,
aggressive coaching strategy,
It's boils down to
Believing in your athlete,
Believing what you have taught (coach and parent),
Moments of fear,
Instinct,
Perspective,
Sportsmanship
In victory and defeat
Ultimately called LOVE of the game...

Ang

 

[bigdaddy]

Ang,

This is a "top five" sports movie to me! Yes, I said sports movie.

Both of my kids play chess and compete in local tournaments. They attend a private school where it's "cool" to be smart & athletic!

The first chess touney my son played in he was in kindergarten. It was an "open" tourney and he was in the "B" division in the "elementary class". Being in the "B" division means you can play anyone in any age division. To make a long story short, he kept winning and kept playing. About 4 matches into the tourney he faced a 10th grader! The match went on for about 45 minutes and the older boy realized he wasn't going to win so he kept asking my son if he wanted a draw and my son kept saying "no thankyou"! The match ended in stalemate, but the lesson learned that day stays with us!

Keith

 

[ang4yanks]

Deeper respect for you Keith. What lines can you draw between the movie and softball? Just kickin up conversation because there may be viewers who cannot see any correlation...

Ang ;-)

Parenting is a very humbling experience. I hope you have a wonderful day, Keith.

 

[bigdaddy]

Ang,

Two themes come to mind...

...first, as parents, how hard do we push our kids? We walk a fine line as parents/coaches. If we push too hard, we run the risk of taking the fun out of the activity. If we don't push enough, our kids may not realize their potential.

...second, as parents/coaches we need to know the appropriate time to let our kids sink or swim. We want to protect them but if we do we risk dwarfing their development. OTOH, if we let them go before they're ready, we risk a serious shot to their self-confidence. What happens if they have a failure after we "let them go"? What happens if they have real success too early or too easily? Both scenarios contain potential peril!

Keith

 

[ang4yanks]

Keith,

That was a great definition of BALANCE. This is a continuous daily challenge. Failure after "we let them go," is inevitable, I'm afraid. It is our desire to slowly empower our children and watch them become interdependent by the time they are sixteen. This way we can watch (and counsel) them making important choices while they are still in our home.

We have two children in travel ball, and one student involved in the International Bauccaulerate program. We are on the move constantly. Baseball tournament, softball tournament and Latin competition, all in one day. We prioritize academics and rarely have a weekend off. When we do, we emphasize quality time.

It was actually the discussion of defensive indecision that brought this scene to mind. I delighted in watching the coaching styles between Laurence Fishburne and Ben Kingsley. Josh used what he had learned from both coaches to find himself. That last scene captured all of that, PLUS, the antagonism of the opponent's coach.

It is, hands down, the best movie I have ever seen on healthy sport parenting. His mother identifies his talent. Despite the dad's love of baseball; he supports his son's passion. Recognizing that he began vicariously living through his son; he puts the sport back into his son's hands. I loved the scene where Josh wakes up, and his father is moving all the trophies into their rightful place, Josh's room. When he recognized that chess began monopolizing their life; they went fishing. Mom recognized unhealthy coaching and advocated for her son (which I believe was a lessoned learned for Kingsley as well).

Because this was is a true story, I enjoyed listening to the interview with Josh Waitzkin as an adult...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lj1gxz5puaQ

Thanks for the exchange!

Ang

 

[bigdaddy]

Ang,

I hope this is the first of many discussions. Ultimately, much of the benefit of these forums is exchanging ideas and thoughts about parenting!

I have two kids involved in travel sports as well. My DD plays softball (pitcher) and club volleyball. She is also passionately invoved in guitar lessons. My son plays travel lacrosse as well as rec basketball and school football. He also plays the drums. Obviously balance is a constant struggle. The only constant is that school comes first! No exceptions. After that it's a juggling act!

The other great thing is that my kids are polar opposites. My son is high energy and always on the go. He wants to be doing something every second. This means that we as parents have to exert the control and say "enough is enough". My DD, OTOH, NEEDS her down time. She needs to "chillax" as she calls it. Whether it's texting her friends, watching TV, shopping, writing songs, whatever, she requires quiet time to stay motivated. This presents another parenting challenge. We as parents sometimes have to light a fire under her.

It's always interesting!

Anyway, I was privileged to see Josh play a chess match in NYC many years ago. I'll tell you the story one day!

Keith

 

[ang4yanks]

Sport parenting...

Ang,

I hope this is the first of many discussions. Ultimately, much of the benefit of these forums is exchanging ideas and thoughts about parenting!

I have two kids involved in travel sports as well. My DD plays softball (pitcher) and club volleyball. She is also passionately invoved in guitar lessons. My son plays travel lacrosse as well as rec basketball and school football. He also plays the drums. Obviously balance is a constant struggle. The only constant is that school comes first! No exceptions. After that it's a juggling act!

The other great thing is that my kids are polar opposites. My son is high energy and always on the go. He wants to be doing something every second. This means that we as parents have to exert the control and say "enough is enough". My DD, OTOH, NEEDS her down time. She needs to "chillax" as she calls it. Whether it's texting her friends, watching TV, shopping, writing songs, whatever, she requires quiet time to stay motivated. This presents another parenting challenge. We as parents sometimes have to light a fire under her.

It's always interesting!

Anyway, I was privileged to see Josh play a chess match in NYC many years ago. I'll tell you the story one day!

Keith

Keith:

I would like that very much! You can post me a private or something. I smiled as you shared the importance of what makes each of your children tick. I have three children that are TOTALLY different. Even my two athletes (besides gender) are different. DD, 7th grade, passionate about softball, pitches, and plays volleyball! That's funny. Different motivations, different social skills, different life priorities, different passions and drives! As parents, we have worked at embracing their uniqueness and integrity.

In line with my vocation, I am very familiar with temperament, learning, coaching, and athletic styles. It has helped me to understand my strengths, weaknesses, learning style, team roles, etc. I have also completed the assessments (free online) for each family member. It has helped in the academic area immensely!

Sport success is not dependent on sport parenting (because on my DD's team, there is a young precious girl who has no parental support...the coaches and parents watch out for her). Healthy sport parenting, in addition to encouragement, advocation, priority, etc. helps the athlete integrate all areas of life (as seen in Josh's life). We have always encouraged our children to use strategies, give whatever you try your best effort, and to explore life within the framework of their values

Often in life, my husband and I feel so misunderstood in these areas! We know another family, and their family system lines up with ours right much. Seems like we are the minority though.

This forum has been great!

Ang

 

[ang4yanks]

The only constant is that school comes first! No exceptions. After that it's a juggling act! (by bigdaddy)...

Keith:

You may want to check out my post on "juggling" in the Softball Training Forum. I think you will find it as interesting as I did...

Ang

 

[bigdaddy]

Ang,

You and I are going to get along well! I purposely threw in the juggling reference in my earlier post. I knew you would pick up on it!

I am intigued by the idea of juggling. I am hopelessly right handed and have always emphasized the use of both hands with my kids. Drumming has helped my son be more ambidexterous. To be successful in Lacrosee you MUST be able to use your off hand well. The guitar provides lots of left-handed dexterity for my right handed daughter.

As far as feeling different than the other parents...I feel your pain! When I tell people that "having fun" is the most important aspect of my kids sports, I get funny looks!

Keith

 

[ang4yanks]

Keith:

Outside the forum, I would like your take on Lacrosse. I have to see if I am set up in my profile to accept emails. My son (5th grade) is talking about exploring Lacrosse. I don't know anything about it.

Because you have a softball pitcher, there are great discussions going on in the pitching forum about speed. In the circles we run, it seems that speed is the most important thing and brings on so much controversy. Mark H does a good job getting at that controversy.

Ang