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Travel family

Jun 12, 2015
3,619
48
I'm an introvert but oddly enough, I like having that close feeling on a team. I mostly want the girls to have it but it's nice to have a bit of it with the parents too. My older daughter is great with younger kids so the younger siblings all hang with her all day, she takes them to play grounds and that kind of thing. So the siblings on our teams tend to go that way anyway, because they spend so much time together. I still have kids from 2 years ago asking where Maddie is at tournaments. We've had parents who keep their distance, and it's not a problem. If it's not your thing that's fine. We do have an extrovert mom on our team, who's been with us from the start, and she does her very best to make sure everyone feels included. You'd have to work to avoid her but eventually she'd take the hint ;)
 
Jun 11, 2012
378
28
You don’t need to be involved but if your DD intends to play in college she should get used to the team building and the team is your “family” aspect now. DDs college team does a lot of team outings and although some aren’t mandatory some are and it’s a great way to get to know your team. Sometimes team chemistry can be the difference between winning and losing. DD spends a lot of time with her teammates whether it’s a team activity or just going to the gym to hit or workout or going for a run.
 
Mar 13, 2010
1,731
48
You don’t have to be a family but you do have to be friends.

Ignoring the social nicities is a good way to not be asked back or not selected.

Softball isn’t an individual sport. It’s a team. Teams need to get on.

I’ve got friendships going back years with girls I’ve played with. M

And a team where the players genuinly like each other as opposed to those who are there ‘just to play’ Theyll win when it’s hard.
 
Jun 14, 2018
126
18
I like the fact that I can sit and talk to all the parents at DD's games and practices. In the past I have had a few ask me to help coach the team and my answer was always the same. I don't think that is a good idea. There are a few parents that I hang out with outside of the team stuff but that is it. Hell our daughters don't even hang out away from the team.

I agree to a point that if you are having a party and invite the majority of the team then all of them should be invited. At the same time only inviting a few is fine by me as well.
 
Apr 28, 2014
1,100
48
I can tell you that I am spot on with the OP. Don't really care much for the family bonding that a lot of teams try to force. Some of the parents push so hard for kids to "bond". That's not how friendships are formed. My DD spends a ton of time around her teammates (like most of your DD's do). If a friendship happens to form, so be it. But too much of this forced crap goes on. I was an AC for a few years and some of the parents would email me. "Should we have a pool party or holiday party?"
I would say "that's your call". They did them but to me it seemed like half of the kids didn't want to be there and the other half we had to force off their phones.
I do think it's about the type of person you are. My wife and I like to spend our down time alone (family together) not with others. We had friends of ours over the last few years ask if we wanted to go on trips with them. Cruises, or a trip to Europe. Maybe I'm the introvert but the last thing I want to do is spend my free time with people on a trip. I like to be alone with the wife and kids. :)
 
Apr 28, 2014
1,100
48
You don’t have to be a family but you do have to be friends.

Ignoring the social nicities is a good way to not be asked back or not selected.

Softball isn’t an individual sport. It’s a team. Teams need to get on.

I’ve got friendships going back years with girls I’ve played with. M

And a team where the players genuinly like each other as opposed to those who are there ‘just to play’ Theyll win when it’s hard.
I see your point but if a kid is good and not a trouble maker any smart team would have her back to play another season even if the parents didn't socialize.
Where trouble happens, and it happened on our team last year, is when the kid is not good enough and the parents have become too bonded with each other. Then resentment creeps in and they wonder why their "friends" aren't advocating to keep their kid on the team.
 
May 24, 2013
9,592
83
So Cal
Every group is different - parents and players. We've been with teams where the players were very tightly bonded (DD's current team), and others where there was some borderline bullying in the dugout. DD's previous team had a pretty close group of players, but many of the parents were straight-up toxic.

I tend to be a pretty social guy, and can make friends pretty easily. DW, not so much (strong introvert). When DD started playing TB at 10U, we were told stories about how the TB team became their family, and they gained this huge group of close friends that they stuck with for years. That hasn't been our experience. During DD's journey, our pattern has been to pick up a new friend or two within each team where the relationship has endured over time, and as the players have moved on to different teams. On DD's current team, the parents all get a long pretty well (best we've experienced, so far). Some like to hang out together on travel trips, and some don't. No one is looked down upon because of their participation choice.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,046
48
Michigan
You might need to ask the coach why he feels the family stuff is necessary. The answer is how you will make your decision.
Some feel its a way of heading off cliques, better to have a 12 person clique then 3 4 player cliques.

It might be a minor part of the team but he feels parents want to hear it. To me the girls get to know each other via practices and dugout time, but if the coach thinks taking the team out bowling after the roster is set so everyone can get to know each other then fine. But if they want to make it a once a week thing, I'm not so sure thats for me.

You might find its a huge part of the team and it might be because this is how the coach can control who his dd is friends with, thats a problem for me.

It might be any number of reasons, but just hearing that they are like a family. You need to dig deeper and see what that means to the individual coach.
 

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