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Travel family

Apr 6, 2017
191
18
Is it wrong that I don’t want to be part of a team “family”?
Dd is 12. I think we really need to join a team but I really get turned
off by the family talk-sorry no offense.
I’m sort of watching for a good fit team but so far the first thing a coach
tells me is the team family stuff. I don’t want to be cold but at the same
time I like the family stuff separate from ball games.
Will I find dd a team that just wants to work on softball ?
 
Oct 4, 2018
349
28
You can certainly have your daughter part of the team and you personally not get into the camaraderie of the parents. Two main ways to do that:

1. Be an assistant coach
2. Just drop the kid off at practice and pick them up. Sit off to the side during games.

If you do #2, you'll certainly need to chat with coaches to ensure you're updated on your daughter's progress and such. And you might get a bit of scorn from the other parents, but nothing major. However, it can be kinda fun. These parents do become friends and really enjoy one another's company.
 
Apr 16, 2013
609
28
As an introvert, well my wife and kids as well, yeah the family and get togethers bug the crap out of me. My DD is an integral part of the team. She's there to play ball. She doesn't have a friend on the team. She doesn't want to spend time with the girls outside of playing ball. She doesn't want to be on their group chat. She doesn't want to follow them on instagram. She's just absolutely nothing like them. I'm acquainted with some of the fathers on the team. We chat, about softball. That's pretty much it. It does bug me when I get all these team emails that work on setting up dates for the team to get together and do "fun" stuff. I feel bad about never attending. At the same time, my DD would just be miserable if we did such things. So, we don't.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
3,819
48
Is it wrong that I don’t want to be part of a team “family”?
Dd is 12. I think we really need to join a team but I really get turned
off by the family talk-sorry no offense.
I’m sort of watching for a good fit team but so far the first thing a coach
tells me is the team family stuff. I don’t want to be cold but at the same
time I like the family stuff separate from ball games.
Will I find dd a team that just wants to work on softball ?
Since I was a HS Coach, I tended to not want to be a part of a TB Team Family. In the long run, I knew that there would come a time when I had to make decisions on some of their dds at the HS level. The wife and I were respectful and pulled it off. There were some problems. For example, the parents would sometimes have social events that involved being on their boats. My daughter always wanted to go. We never did. In a way, it did matter when it came to other things like "team moms" and who were asked to do what. When all things are taken into account, for us, we made the best choice.
 
Oct 11, 2010
7,450
38
Chicago, IL
We had an 8 am game and our Team was a 1/2 a step slow. HC asked me what was happening. Pool party was probably a little too late last night. What pool party? Whoops. Their DD and him were OK, I do not know what happened that they did not know about it.

He was annoyed rest of the day his DD was not as bad rest of the players. :)

Everyone's situation is different and want different things out of it.

I am kind of like you, leave me alone.
 
Apr 6, 2017
191
18
Swimming. Don’t get me started. My in-laws have a nice pool. Seems like before
a game everyone insists my daughter spend the day in the sun with her cousins ,Drives me nuts.
 
Oct 19, 2009
1,275
36
beyond the fences
I suggest not sitting in the bleachers with the other families especially at 12U. They will down-talk
different players regularly (especially after a bad play). They will certainly also talk about your DD
when you're not present as well. Avoid the drama, bring a chair and sit away from the parents so
you can enjoy the games. Drama follows youth sports until 18U. Best of luck!!!
 
May 24, 2013
9,468
83
So Cal
Is it wrong that I don’t want to be part of a team “family”?
Dd is 12. I think we really need to join a team but I really get turned
off by the family talk-sorry no offense.
I’m sort of watching for a good fit team but so far the first thing a coach
tells me is the team family stuff. I don’t want to be cold but at the same
time I like the family stuff separate from ball games.
Will I find dd a team that just wants to work on softball ?
This ^^^ is a lot about what you want. What does your DD want? This is her sport, not yours.

In my experience, players that like each other, and want to spend time together, tend to develop into good teams.

As long as parents aren't causing problems, spreading negativity, etc. it doesn't really matter what they do or how social they feel like being.
 
Jun 29, 2013
573
18
I agree with Eric. It isn't true for everybody like everything in life, but generally speaking, the teams that bond are more apt to truly care if another teammate does something to help the team, and much more likely to pick up the girl who is struggling. There are plenty of teams that are a talented collection of good players who don't give two thoughts about each other when the last game is complete. Those are the teams that typically are always looking for someone to replace the player who left.
But it's your daughter's choice, if she isn't into the team building and has interests outside the sport that she would rather do on days off, by all means don't force her to go. And some teams that I know develop a cult-like mindset where you're always expected to give up everything for the organization, which isn't healthy. Best advice I can give you is to choose your battles wisely, let the team know when you will or won't attend, and always be ready at practice.
 
Oct 4, 2018
349
28
I gotta admit I love that my 9 year old and her teammates genuinely love one another and can't wait to play together. I do think it makes for a better team. And it's heart-warming and cute.
 

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