The role of Victimoalogy in sports

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osagedr

Canadian Fastpitch Dad
Oct 20, 2016
280
28
In almost every athletes sports story and especially in female sport stories it seems that a victim senerio is played over and over. It's overused and it's depressing to say the least if not skirting the truth just a bit at times.

I'm not talking about athletes that were truly victims of thier era where it's valid struggle. No doubt sports has transcended most of these inequities seen throughout our society and not all of them have been rectified. Overall more equitable and inclusive for all IMO.

I haven't read a sports success story latey without some story involving some woe is me angle. To be fair most these tales of struggle and strife aren't normally written by the athletes.

It seems most of these accounts are written by marketing people pushing products or pimping training because connecting with these top athletes failures helps make them relatable, marketable. Why? Because everyone can identify with being wronged, or being a victim.

Normal victim speak for top athletes involves one of the following or multiple variations of the following. Most are cherry picked to find some relatable issue sometimes even pushing half truths or one sided story lines kids and parents can relate with. It's semantics 101 at its finest.

"I was told I'll never be a pitcher." (Probably was the #3 pitcher on the team. Already had 2 pitches prior to that athlete wanting to pitch and working at it hard last week)

"I wasn't the #1 catcher on my team" (probably the #2 catcher because she's a year or two younger than the #1 catcher leaving the TB team for college and she was great a 2nd base)

"I was told I wasn't good enough to play softball or start" (Probably had to do with parents being a pain. Coaches were trying to run them off and had nothing to do with the player. Maybe just being on an elite team rostered with 20 other great players or playing 6 years up and the coach didn't recognize future greatness.)

"Nobody understands me. I'm different from everyone else on the team." (Duh Reality- Everyone's different period and in that way you aren't different from everyone else. We're all unique, if we weren't the world of sports would be pretty boring)

"I was cut from my high-school team" (no talk of grades or the attitude guaranteed to get you cut or making you ineligible. Just conveniently left that part out, it just sounds better)

"I was short for my sport, or I was too tall for that position" ( when all else fails find some reason to document your life's bumps in your road to greatest.)

Every time after read these stories I look up the player to get a better understanding of the purported wrong done to them. I feel ripped off when I find 2 or 3 pages of amazing statistics, and endless array of accolades heaped upon these suposive victims of the world. Nothing but positive and quiet a contrast from what we're originally sold.

Help kids relate to the top athletes hard work usually not seen, or documented. Don't forget to minus that victim part.
It's ok to struggle and not being number one in everything and don't expect to have instant gratification because you decided to practice for the first time outside team practice.
Kids are listening and reading their heroes stories and emulate this victim mentality.

Life's easier without dwelling on the negative although this might not be as compelling when trying to sell your life story.
Part of modern Snowflake Syndrome. “I’m just so plucky & persevered through all of these super-hard circumstances where I was the only one who believed in myself!”

Steve Stifler understood:

 

osagedr

Canadian Fastpitch Dad
Oct 20, 2016
280
28
It's fascinating that people who can't handle a story about someone else overcoming odds think those who overcome those odds are the weak ones.

Very happy for those who overcome odds to succeed, provided they actually overcame something.
 
Apr 20, 2015
961
93
Hmm interesting. Can't say mine has had much to overcome other than an injury or 2 and the current pandemic. HS softball will be her biggest challenge. Her HS is extremely talented with multiple P5 and D1 committed upperclassmen on the team. Both middle infielders graduated and she wants to grab one of those spots. She will either rise or learn a valuable lesson about working hard and waiting her turn.

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Jul 5, 2016
652
63
It's not playing the victim if a player overcomes real or perceived disadvantages and becomes better. You are a victim if you use adversity as an excuse to walk away from something you can do if you are willing to make the effort. And in some cases, it can be a balancing act to motivate a person who really does have a lot of real disadvantages to work past them.
 
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Feb 3, 2016
502
43
Thanks for the replies. Getting some posts for the mental side of the game.

A couple of things about the original post. The issues about being a victim or people in general trying to create human-interest stories using false pretenses. Or at least misleading by omission of facts or context.

I've read plenty of Softball related stories over the years as inspiration for the OP but will use a MJ's story for this post.
The most self-aggrandizing athlete in the world was Michael Jordan. That old story about MJ that every kid who played basketball on Earth was told.
Michael Jordan was cut from his HS basketball team. Facts didn't matter and this story spread like Covid 19 for 40+ years and it's still told in parks and gymnasiums today. People can relate to his failure and tale.

A tale of how Jordan used this setback after crying his eyes out becoming one of the best, if not the best player in world.

That story about MJ being cut from HS team wasn't accurate. Would it have made a difference in MJ's career if it were actually true? No!

Mike tried out for Varsity his Sophomore year and was put on the JV roster as another Sophomore player was needed on the Varsity team for height reasons.

The true story above isn't as compelling and wouldn't be a story at all if he made Varsity. Athletes or at least people writing about them are digging deeper, and deeper to emulate the recipe above. Pushing partially accurate stories to drum up interested readers.

Bombarding people with endless false narratives has kids unnecessarily hanging onto their own negative experiences and conflating fiction with reality.

Parents aren't helping thier kids cause either. I still hear a story from a parent about how her DD was wronged 3 year's ago. The parent doesn't understand it had nothing to do with her kid. The parent was the problem! If this kid makes it to college that story minus the truth "Mom was the problem" will be in her bio/tale!






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Feb 3, 2016
502
43
Well now that you complained about the trend on here I am sure it will stop....;)
Have to admit it's a problem before you can change it. Corrosive and problematic for sports and everyday life always being a victim.
Once you've met someone who's truly been a victim or beat adversity (in life or sports) the tales of most athletes struggle is underwhelming. It's funny how most of those we'd consider victims rarely if ever view themselves as such.
Real power in that.

For those who aren't on Patter's level I'm breaking this subject down further in a shorter Cliff Notes version using food as the antagonistic.

I ate some bad Mexican food the other day and thought the enchilada I ate was victimizing me.
Although I had free will to order anything off the menu I chose 'the special". It was distressing me a great deal. It made me feel really, really bad.
Stupid $2.99 enchiladas.

In reality my wife and DD were the ones truly suffering from my choices and subsequent actions. Real power in that enchilada too. I tried blaming the dog but was kept honest by others.
Sorry that we're all victims in that last story especially my unsuspecting dog and guy entering elevator.

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sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
A tale of how Jordan used this setback after crying his eyes out becoming one of the best, if not the best player in world.

That story about MJ being cut from HS team wasn't accurate. Would it have made a difference in MJ's career if it were actually true? No!

I'm not sure you understand high achievers at all. You just don't get it.

To make an outstanding athlete (or an outstanding anything), the person has to work harder than everyone else...and not just a little bit harder. If the coach tells the team to do 20 pushups, they do 40. If the coach tells the team to do 100 layups, they do 200. That is why they are outstanding...they have God given talent, and then a work ethic greater than everyone else's.

Athletes have to find the motivation to do those extra pushups and extra layups. They are human...they get tired, they get frustrated. So, they create a narrative so that they will keep going when everyone else has quit and gone home.

As to the MJ "getting cut" story...which is, by the way, accurate. He was cut from the varsity team as a freshman. And, you are correct, it was because he was too short. MJ wanted something, he didn't get it...isn't that the definition of failure?

He did come home crying his eyes out for being cut, and he was humiliated. So, he spent the next year practicing...so, when he did grow a few more inches he was far and away the best player on the team, and the best player in the state.

The narrative they create is, "I failed before. But, I worked harder. Then, I succeeded." When something bad happens, they go to work and try to overcome the problems.

You should read, "Hub Fans Bid the Kid Adieu," by John Updike. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1960/10/22/hub-fans-bid-kid-adieu
 
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