The "Hissy-Quit"

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Jun 14, 2018
172
28
DD's team this past spring was a very good team, that just couldn't put it all together. DD joined the team in mid-December and was super excited. 3 weeks after joining new team she breaks the thumb on her glove hand. Five weeks later she is back and working just as hard as everybody else if not harder. Fast forward to the end of April where she breaks her thumb on her throwing hand (both of them were in games). She sat out for close to 8 weeks on this one. When she was fully released from the doctor she went to the coach and asked him if she could come to at least one of the 10u (head coach there as well) practices a week. Now I was standing there because DD asked me to go with her to talk to him. The response had me floored!
"DD you are so far behind everybody else now that it does not matter if you come to extra practices." Then he looked at me and said he needed to go!
We went to nationals with the team (even though I knew it was a waste of time) and watched the team play 8 games. DD played 4 innings in the field and batted once!

After day 4 was over I went to the coach on the side and tried to talk to him and got blown off again with "I will not talk to you until 48 hours after the tournament".

After the last game I went to the fence and told DD I was super proud of the way she handled herself all week and that I still had tons of faith in her even if her coach did not. Boy it set him off!

I did not say anything to him after he came to the fence yelling at me. I just simply turned around and walked off.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
DD's team this past spring was a very good team, that just couldn't put it all together. DD joined the team in mid-December and was super excited. 3 weeks after joining new team she breaks the thumb on her glove hand. Five weeks later she is back and working just as hard as everybody else if not harder. Fast forward to the end of April where she breaks her thumb on her throwing hand (both of them were in games). She sat out for close to 8 weeks on this one. When she was fully released from the doctor she went to the coach and asked him if she could come to at least one of the 10u (head coach there as well) practices a week. Now I was standing there because DD asked me to go with her to talk to him. The response had me floored!
"DD you are so far behind everybody else now that it does not matter if you come to extra practices." Then he looked at me and said he needed to go!
We went to nationals with the team (even though I knew it was a waste of time) and watched the team play 8 games. DD played 4 innings in the field and batted once!

After day 4 was over I went to the coach on the side and tried to talk to him and got blown off again with "I will not talk to you until 48 hours after the tournament".

After the last game I went to the fence and told DD I was super proud of the way she handled herself all week and that I still had tons of faith in her even if her coach did not. Boy it set him off!

I did not say anything to him after he came to the fence yelling at me. I just simply turned around and walked off.
That is rough..congrats on handling the coach's response like you did...I may have flipped a lid!!
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
DD's team this past spring was a very good team, that just couldn't put it all together. DD joined the team in mid-December and was super excited. 3 weeks after joining new team she breaks the thumb on her glove hand. Five weeks later she is back and working just as hard as everybody else if not harder. Fast forward to the end of April where she breaks her thumb on her throwing hand (both of them were in games). She sat out for close to 8 weeks on this one. When she was fully released from the doctor she went to the coach and asked him if she could come to at least one of the 10u (head coach there as well) practices a week. Now I was standing there because DD asked me to go with her to talk to him. The response had me floored!
"DD you are so far behind everybody else now that it does not matter if you come to extra practices." Then he looked at me and said he needed to go!
We went to nationals with the team (even though I knew it was a waste of time) and watched the team play 8 games. DD played 4 innings in the field and batted once!

After day 4 was over I went to the coach on the side and tried to talk to him and got blown off again with "I will not talk to you until 48 hours after the tournament".

After the last game I went to the fence and told DD I was super proud of the way she handled herself all week and that I still had tons of faith in her even if her coach did not. Boy it set him off!

I did not say anything to him after he came to the fence yelling at me. I just simply turned around and walked off.
what age group?

because if 14u or lower, when he berated me, I would have called him a plastic statue hunting fraud. at the younger ages, it is about developing the girls, even ones who get hurt (did he try to keep her involved, have her coach a base maybe, keep score, etc.?) I also might have broken both his thumbs and told him he should just quit, since he will miss too much time obviously.
 
Last edited:
Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
what age group?

because if 14u or lower, when he berated me, I would have called him a plastic statue hunting fraud. at the younger ages, it is about developing the girls, even ones who get hurt (did he try to keep her involved, have her coach a base maybe, keep score, etc.?) I also might have broken both his thumbs and told him he should just quit, since he will miss too much time obviously.

Man, I'm with you! One hand is down, ok... that means she still has her feet and one hand available! I'd find a way to incorporate skills for her at every practice. Throwing hand down? Catch for me. Catching hand down? Throw for me. RUN! Find out what she and parents are comfortable with as far as playing or practice. BE A COACH and find ways to continue developing her skills. It's not like she's in a wheelchair.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
what age group?

because if 14u or lower, when he berated me, I would have called him a plastic statue hunting fraud. at the younger ages, it is about developing the girls, even ones who get hurt (did he try to keep her involved, have her coach a base maybe, keep score, etc.?) I also might have broken both his thumbs and told him he should just quit, since he will miss too much time obviously.

Lighten up, Francis. :rolleyes:
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
One hand is down, ok... that means she still has her feet and one hand available! I'd find a way to incorporate skills for her at every practice. Throwing hand down? Catch for me. Catching hand down? Throw for me. RUN! Find out what she and parents are comfortable with as far as playing or practice. BE A COACH and find ways to continue developing her skills. It's not like she's in a wheelchair.

Yep. My kid has been hampered by injuries more times than I can count in her softball playing career. She has yet to miss a single practice because of those injuries - broken fingers, throwing arm nerve issues, concussions, knee ligament strains, Severs issues... If she couldn't be active or on her feet, she sat on a bucket on the field, and paid attention to what was being taught. If her throwing or catching was limited, she worked around it.

Team practices aren't just about developing physical skills, but also about the team learning the game together. Practice sessions often include the coaches teaching plays that they will be implementing in games. If a player isn't there to learn, they are falling behind the rest of their team. Especially at the younger ages, a lot of learning can happen in a short time.
 
Jul 16, 2008
1,520
48
Oregon
This ^^^^^ is a great point Eric. Fort83 did your DD attend practices while injured? I could see a coach acting like that if she didn't attend practices while injured.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
I was recently reminded of a story that is "hissy-quit" adjacent...

A player that I had coached in 12U moved to a very highly-regarded team for 14U. Her dad bragged at length about being asked to join the team. She was a solid player, with a good attitude, but was battling for a part-time OF position on the 14U team. Over the course of the spring and summer, her dad worked his way though the parents, bitching and complaining about her playing time, and about how she was being treated unfairly, sometimes going as far as comparing her to other players on the team. The parents and coaches grew increasingly irritated with his behavior. When it came time for PGF Nationals, the coaches informed the dad that his DD was welcome to be a part of the team, but he was banned from attending any of the games. Predictably, he told the coaches where he thought they should go, and removed his DD from the team. She has not had an opportunity to play at PGF Nationals since then.
 
Jun 14, 2018
172
28
what age group?

because if 14u or lower, when he berated me, I would have called him a plastic statue hunting fraud. at the younger ages, it is about developing the girls, even ones who get hurt (did he try to keep her involved, have her coach a base maybe, keep score, etc.?) I also might have broken both his thumbs and told him he should just quit, since he will miss too much time obviously.

DD only missed one practice (Dr. appointment) the entire time. She wanted to be there and she did as much as she could. With that being said her Dr. limited alot of the activities for her.
 

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