The "Hissy-Quit"

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May 6, 2015
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she already has, she was offered a spot on different (mostly 2008) 12u team from organization she was with before, pretty much sight unseen (guest played with them in 2018, they did not offer until after tryout, but with two tryouts to go, they offered her starting C position immediately after the speech to all the parents about getting in touch in a couple of weeks). this was on top of other offer from Dad from team we just left who is starting new team (not geographically feasible for us though). she has helped at next two tryouts, and already her joy is shining through again (reunited with a pitcher from two years ago she loves helps a lot as well, and being asked already to be a leader to younger girls on the team was great as well, she is by nature a nurturer)
 
May 6, 2015
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it was rough, but I managed to not choke the ever living **** out of some folks who really deserved it.

real kicker was Mom of other C was livid as well. she was very cool at first, and throughout season thought DD was really there just for when her DD was tired, etc. clearly did not expect to be splitting time. come nationals, her DD gets 8 out of 11 behind the plate (and it was excessivly hot, HI above 105 every day), livid because it really was too much. all to send message about practice after all practice is over.

funny also that HC's son thought he was gonna build a 12u team around the girls remaining in 12u (his DD, my DD, and DD of dad forming his own team now, plus 1 or 2 others). now that core is gone, he has cut off his nose to spite his face.
 
May 6, 2015
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It's also about learning life lessons...like how to handle difficult situations.
so what is the life lesson of staying . . . support your teammates I get it . . but at the same time I do not want to teach her to let herself be a doormat either. her only option (other than cussing HC and son out, or nailing them with a bat, both of which I frown upon) to let them know it was unacceptable way to treat her was to walk. she was used plain and simple, and I do not want her to let that happen to herself if avoidable. that is also a necessary life lesson.
 
Jul 16, 2008
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Oregon
because we have also taught her to respect the coaches and abide by their decisions / opinions. and she has had several really good coaches, so this reinforced this lesson from us, because she really respected them. and because these coaches earlier favoritism was less blatant (DW and I saw it, but not DD, and we did not say anything to her, again, we want her to respect her coaches), so she actually liked and respected these coaches as well (and they still were nice and pleasant, they just were not playing her, with no explanation). hence why she was in tears after that last game one day, she could not understand it emotionally, even if she knew it in her head. remember, these are little girls (this was 12U team)

It doesn't change much at any age. Let me preface this by saying I'm not in any way referring to your DD's ability, just showing you that tears happen in any age. Our 18 team had a great defensive 1B, but she lacked the ability to hit. We had another 1B that wasn't as good digging balls out of the dirt as the other 1B, but her bat was pretty good, and figuring that maybe 2 or 3 outs a Tournament we would give away vs good production on offense the line was clear. The first girl got playing time during Pool games (although limited) but rarely during Bracket games. 3rd from the final Tournament she was tearing up after Sunday's games after not playing much. Her father talked to the HC, then emailed Sunday night and informed us that she wouldn't be playing the final 3 Tournaments. I get it, but she had 50 AB's, and was hitting .135 and leading the team in K's. At some point the player must take responsibility for her own production.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
It doesn't change much at any age. Let me preface this by saying I'm not in any way referring to your DD's ability, just showing you that tears happen in any age. Our 18 team had a great defensive 1B, but she lacked the ability to hit. We had another 1B that wasn't as good digging balls out of the dirt as the other 1B, but her bat was pretty good, and figuring that maybe 2 or 3 outs a Tournament we would give away vs good production on offense the line was clear. The first girl got playing time during Pool games (although limited) but rarely during Bracket games. 3rd from the final Tournament she was tearing up after Sunday's games after not playing much. Her father talked to the HC, then emailed Sunday night and informed us that she wouldn't be playing the final 3 Tournaments. I get it, but she had 50 AB's, and was hitting .135 and leading the team in K's. At some point the player must take responsibility for her own production.

but also, it was clear before you guys packed up for a national tournament what that girls role was, and they had the chance (and used it) to avoid shelling out big money for travel for her to ride aluminum (pine is outdated, all benches pretty much aluminum now, we need to change terminology ;) that was my biggest problem, was the complete change in how the time was split only at nationals. I have a feeling, if they had not planned to do nationals (where 11 games in 4 days was a possiblity), the true colors would have come out long before, we were strung along as an insurance policy for nationals so other C would not fall over dead

ie, DD was used, not first time for her (previous time was playing soccer, she was GK, similar situation, singular position).

and 18u is different animal, at that point it is more about winning and showcasing than about development anymore. 12u C (all 12u really) needs to be about player development. I am certain that girl who say 4-5 innings in field and like 5 at bats would trade runner up rings they received for more PT. but what do coaches care, they got a ring and a trophy for the clubhouse, and something to brag about.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
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This thread is the most interesting I've read in awhile here. Although I've been around this game long enough to realize that youth sports can be a shirt-show at times, reading about people's experiences really brings perspective. I used to get knotted up pretty easily about how much and where DD was playing, and that is with DD not spending much time on the bench EVER!

I've came to the probably belated realization a few years ago that youth sports, especially competitive sports requires compromise. No matter how good a team or coach is, there will always be things that you have to put up with. DD's team has been running for several years. It isn't top-tier, but it's pretty good and seems to be able to play with most anyone.

The HC is pretty effective in some areas, but also has blind spots and character flaws, and probably even a diagnosable personality disorder! Fortunately, he has ACs that all get along and make things happen regardless of what's going on in the HC's head. The real strength is the core of long-time "veterans" who get along and play well together despite not all being besties. At times, I see them band together when the coach is in one of his moods. There are other teams DD could play on, but she wants to stay with this group despite the mercurial HC who often treats her with indifference despite the fact that he rarely, if ever, leaves her out of the lineup. Even with the good things I could list about hm, I grit my teeth while looking forward to the day when I can put the guy in the rear-view mirror.
 
Last edited:
Jun 8, 2016
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Takes a big man to admit their wrongs. I always try to put on a smile, fake or not, but trust me, many times I've tearing up inside wanting to explode. I just always have to put on my industrial strength filter when I go to my DD games.
In this case admitting what I did was a mistake was akin to admitting that I have a bald spot..obvious to everyone. The HC and ACs did get a good laugh at my expense though next time I saw them since, after clearer heads prevailed, some of the interaction was probably actually fairly comical to those watching (not my DD though ☹ )
 

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