Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Register Log in

The "Hissy-Quit"

Amy in AZ.

Super Moderator
May 7, 2008
8,509
48
Tucson
Yeah, we had a girl on our team whose grandparents DROVE an RV from FL to CO to be with her for the week (parents had to work). She pitched 1 and 2/3 of an inning and that was it for the week. Never batted, never played in the field at all the rest of the time. That would be enough to make me go postal, but they were remarkably chill about it (Grandpa used to coach his daughters in TB, so I guess he understood).
Geez. Get the girl some playing time. Why carry her, if she is not going to play?
 
May 24, 2013
10,114
113
So Cal
Geez. Get the girl some playing time. Why carry her, if she is not going to play?
Disaster insurance. If you have a rash of injuries, illnesses, or mechanical/emotional collapses, having depth on the bench means your can still field a team. You've been around long enough to know that strange things happen in this game.
 
Sep 26, 2016
6
3
Saw a team implode at TCS East this year. Not mid-game, but in the team meeting after. Involved most of the teams parents and coaches - including swearing, pushing, accusations of theft, questioning of coaching methods, favortism, lots of yelling and barroom level threats of harm. Made the game break way more interesting.

Every so often around here a 2nd year 12U or a 14U first year team will form which has ALL the problem families on it because they have run out of decent teams to play for. As you would expect it is total car wreck.
This is something I always remind the parents of in our "All-Star" teams: Softball may seem big, but it is a really small sport. The path of word-of-mouth from one coach to every other coach in the area is rarely more than two hops, and even from one coach to the coaches of D1 colleges is just a few hops. Good teams, and good coaches, do take the behavior of parents into account when taking a girl on, so if you forge a reputation on one team as a difficult parent, that reputation will follow you. Even if the next coach takes your daughter on, they will still be ready to deal with the first sign of trouble from you severely since they know there is a history there.

That and a solid "no talking (by parents) to coaching staff about the tournament until 24 hours after the final game" rule do wonders in keeping "problem" parents in check.
 
Sep 26, 2016
6
3
I saw a post on FB from a mom that let her pitcher DD and a catcher teammate pick up at PGF this year. They were promised innings because the team needed help. After pitching just a little over an inning in 3 pool games she asked the coach. He told her his other pitcher was doing better than expected so he really didn't need her DD and basically thanks for coming. Needless to say she was pretty hot.
We've been on both sides of that - our oldest daughters were pickups for a TB team in the NSA (I believe) state championship, and on my wife's 'B' team (all-stars level travel ball) we have had situations where we needed to have a pickup player for a tournament. In both cases, the need for that pick-up player went away by the time the tournament happened, but thankfully in both cases as well, the coach gave the pickup players time in both pool and bracket play since those players were asked to fill in and took on the task of working with a whole new team with little notice etc. The "dedicated" team obviously gets precedence (even if the pickup player is a better player than the one on the team full time), but you have to show respect and thanks to those pickup players because they stood up when you needed help.

A coach can get into trouble going too far in either direction (dismissing the pick-up player completely, or favoring the pick-up player over full-time team members), so it is a bit of a tightrope walk.
 
Oct 4, 2014
14
1
I sit very hesitant on commenting. I will try not to ramble. Sorry in advance! I have been on both sides of the fence as a coach and a parent for the last ten and I definately do not know it all. At the end of the day the parent is 100% responsible and the most important part is you as the parent have to be HONEST. Honest with yourself, your child and the coach. Nine year old little Suzy needs to be having fun not ridiculed by her parent for not blocking. It is a rare site to see a nine year old block pitches and if you think it's easy try it. A nine year old need to have fun and be played with by you not the coach. especially at that age in travel ball. A coach cant build a player with only 90 minute with that kid a week. There is no indicator at that age for a kid to be D1 kid and really you have no business in travel ball. Here , in the socal travel ball circuit, it can get nasty. At all ages. You better have thick skin. With the amount of "travel rec" teams popping up has thinned the talent pool so much that it damn near impossible to assemble a quality team when you try do start your own thing.
Know what you want/expect and make it clear to your kid and coach and tell them. If accomidating you isnt an option move on. And at the end of it all with the research and the good feeling. It will still explode in your face. I know.

Back to "your kid" . If you haven't taught your kid how to play ball bared handed with a wiffle ball and only two base and a home plate. Do they know about ghost runners, sneaky plays and hard competition. Kids are two fundamental these days and will not develope if you are not pro active. It doesn't just happen. When we were young you went out and played with your buddies and did everything you can to win and compete. Kids are over coached and cant even think on there own at these ages nowadays with out being told what base to throw at. Suzy made a fantastic play but she only throw to first cause that's her fundamental knowledge limits. Lead runner scores and you lose. Was a great play but ya lost any ways.

Playing time
Earned not given, ever
This is were the responsibility comes in for the parent. Research research research. Talk to everyone and anyone about the new team talk to the coach other parents umpires any one who may give you onsite. It your money and your kid. If you think the kid should play ask why . Politely when the time is right. Honesty, is suzy really getting it done or is just cause shes yours. Is the coach really a dick or is it your perception because your kid may not be at the level YOU think or getting the time you think. But if you feel 100% in the right then it is your responsibility to be honest with yourself the kid and the team. I have experienced just about every emotion described by a parent in this forum and I know I have been mad and want to snap but again it's my money and I should be a little more invested in the game than just my money. I owe it to my self to know about my investments

Eric F. 4 more years brother and we will write the book on this subject!
 
May 24, 2013
10,114
113
So Cal
Eric F. 4 more years brother and we will write the book on this subject!
Nah. I'm no more experienced than tons of others who have walked this road before me, and there's tons of others with WAY more experience than I'll ever have. I just like to write about my experiences on this site.
 
Jul 27, 2015
78
8
Sorry...pushing kids "down the depth chart due to pickup players" for any tournament is bullsh!t. As the coach, you picked them...that means you train them, and you win and lose with them. Nothing wrong with forming a new team with your chosen players the next season. I can also see exceptions for bad attitudes and chronically not showing up to practice, but those are reasons to not invite someone back or simply cut them, not bring in pick-ups so your rostered players can watch from the bench.
How about this? You play in a Showcase with 3 meaningless games on Saturday. 2 against dog teams and one against a good team. HC knows college coaches are coming out to the good game. He told me so. And....he has a sub pitch the entire good game. Meanwhile my DD is only allowed to pitch in the dog games where no college coaches are. The sub was there for all 3 games.

My DD has several DIII college offers. She does not stink at pitching. She pitched 2 complete game shuts out, including a no-hitter, in two games she was allowed to pitch.

The sub was deemed better (sub is very good) so she got to pitch the entire game. The goal of showcase games, on this team, is to bat everyone, but only pitch your absolute best pitcher the entire game. Getting that big "W" in a showcase game means everything. Meanwhile the team we played switched pitchers half way through to let both their main pitchers get seen by the coaches there. They lost because of that move - but I bet both their pitchers were happy.

I said nothing then or even later. What good would it do? I had maybe 3 talks in the previous 4 seasons about some screwy things and nothing ever changed. I finally learned just to keep quiet and either accept it or not. I finally was not able to accept it. We were already planning to leave the team at the end of the season for different, yet similar, type things. That just solidified our decision to get off the team.

In case it was not clear, we did not quit but played the rest of the season. We agreed to play for the summer and honored our word. That was, and is, a big deal for me to show my kid.
 
Last edited:
Oct 4, 2014
14
1
Oh Eric, we would have help,:D lots of it! This site would be our bibliography. Share the credit with everyone. Lots of great people seeing thing from so many angles!
 

Latest posts

Members online

Latest threads

Forum statistics

Threads
34,386
Messages
500,383
Members
15,839
Latest member
Joshrocks81
Top