The flute player

[radness]

again, I think there are two different sets of treatment being talked about here

one is favoritism truly, where a girl knows she can get away with poor behaviour, and others see it and realize it as well.

the other is simply saying this is rec, every kid should be playing, and the girl did nto choose that seemingly disengaged dad.

two differeent situations, not really comparable.

Great observation bmakj !!
And yet the two can collide.

This is why i commented towards opposite view...
as people see things differently includes Coaches Parents & kids

Cannot please all the people all the time kinda thing.
It can cause and effect no matter what the decision.

 

[guyonabuffalo]

They key words in this entire post are 8U and REC. She doesn't have to start every game at SS and play every second over girls that are always there but please treat her fairly and don't judge her based on her parent....I was that parent coach like Man in Blue and I've seen it all (sit there after practice for an hour with a girl and her father who has been watching her practice but I can't let the kid go home with him because he's the non custodial parent and we have to wait for Mom to come....and the list goes on).

Until the girls have a drivers license I don't judge, I will ask why and I will talk to the parents but I never judge the kid.

The number one goal at 8U rec is......have FUN....just focus on that then number two teach them the basics so they can play well and by playing well find it easier to achieve goal one.

This right here.

Look, this is 8u REC and it doesn't matter how you run the team(travel/ultimate/select/elite/national/preferred/all-stars/etc,etc.....) it's still 8u REC. As many have said, you can't blame the kid on the actions of the parents. I'd "evaluate" her and whenever she shows up put her where she best fits in. That could be RF, it could be SS, it could be catcher, it doesn't matter. Usually those kids that don't show up to practice a lot aren't the best kids on the team anyways.

If some of your players actually notice that she's not always there, then it's your job to explain to those players that she shows up when she can and that no one should treat her any different than anyone else on the team. Again, because it's 8u REC.......

 

[AW95SY]

Even though it is a rec league there should be some sort of attendance policy. Signing up for a team sport is a commitment to the team no matter what age or competition level.

Even with playing time requirements the organization is only setting up its coaches for failure with no sort of attendance requirements.

The only way to fail as a coach in 8u rec is to think that success hinges on wins and losses. If your ego needs that sort of validation then you are doing it wrong. Nobody's livelihood depends on getting that big win or being above .500 at that level. What is important is that the players have fun when they are playing for you whether in practice or games. Success should be measured by what percentage of your players sign up next season because they want more of whatever you were doing.

However, once you get into the uber competitive world of 10u all bets are off, and you gotta do what you gotta do to keep the parents from having a melee in the stands because some volunteer high schooler made the right call at home.

 

[Tide_will_Roll]

at 8U you may be correct. I know that at 9U Kids see it. They may not know what it is called, but they see it. My DD plays another sport. There is no need to go into details, but all of the kids on the team have mentioned it to each other and their parents. The favorite has even gone so far as to mention that she can do what she wants and not get yelled at or taken out.

as RAD mentions it is complicated because this girls is also a dominant defensive player. Is that why? Or are other circumstances?

Similar situation for other DD's sport, we have. (Yes. I was being Yoda-esque. )

 

[Tide_will_Roll]

The only way to fail as a coach in 8u rec is to think that success hinges on wins and losses. If your ego needs that sort of validation then you are doing it wrong. Nobody's livelihood depends on getting that big win or being above .500 at that level. What is important is that the players have fun when they are playing for you whether in practice or games. Success should be measured by what percentage of your players sign up next season because they want more of whatever you were doing.

However, once you get into the uber competitive world of 10u all bets are off, and you gotta do what you gotta do to keep the parents from having a melee in the stands because some volunteer high schooler made the right call at home.

How about 10U rec? My DD's last year in rec there was a coach that NEEDED to win every game. He screamed at the girls, the parents started doing it too and blaming girls on the team for for "costing them a run," from the stands. The guy even went so far as to have an illegal player on the team. She wasn't close to the age deadline. There were anecdotal stories about him grabbing players by the facemask during games. I did not witness it but heard it more than once.

And my question is rhetorical. I know how I feel about it. 10U should still be for teaching the kids skills and to learn and to love/like playing the game, imo.

 

[bmakj]

How about 10U rec? My DD's last year in rec there was a coach that NEEDED to win every game. He screamed at the girls, the parents started doing it too and blaming girls on the team for for "costing them a run," from the stands. The guy even went so far as to have an illegal player on the team. She wasn't close to the age deadline. There were anecdotal stories about him grabbing players by the facemask during games. I did not witness it but heard it more than once.

And my question is rhetorical. I know how I feel about it. 10U should still be for teaching the kids skills and to learn and to love/like playing the game, imo.

WOW, if I saw a coach doing that rec or TB at 10u, call the police, because I am walking onto that field and yanking that lunatic off the field and off the premises. go ahead arrest me.

 

[Tide_will_Roll]

WOW, if I saw a coach doing that rec or TB at 10u, call the police, because I am walking onto that field and yanking that lunatic off the field and off the premises. go ahead arrest me.

He definitely came across as hyper aggressive almost unhinged. I know a few of the girls that made All-Stars for the league said they did not want to play for him.

I played a lot of sports when I was younger. In football I may have had my facemask grabbed by a coach when I was looking to see if Margaret Ann Lowdermilk was in the stands instead of paying attention to what the coaches were telling us. But, I wasn't a 10 year old girl playing rec ball. Had I seen an incident like this, the president of the organization would have received a telephone call from me as it was happening.

If indeed he did this, I'm surprised the parents of the girls on his team let it slide...

 

[heman1202]

How about 10U rec? My DD's last year in rec there was a coach that NEEDED to win every game. He screamed at the girls, the parents started doing it too and blaming girls on the team for for "costing them a run," from the stands. The guy even went so far as to have an illegal player on the team. She wasn't close to the age deadline. There were anecdotal stories about him grabbing players by the facemask during games. I did not witness it but heard it more than once.

And my question is rhetorical. I know how I feel about it. 10U should still be for teaching the kids skills and to learn and to love/like playing the game, imo.

There is no place for that at any age, any sport, anytime. If you can’t effectively coach without resorting to screaming and berating then you have no business coaching young men and women.

 

[radness]

He definitely came across as hyper aggressive almost unhinged. I know a few of the girls that made All-Stars for the league said they did not want to play for him.

I played a lot of sports when I was younger. In football I may have had my facemask grabbed by a coach when I was looking to see if Margaret Ann Lowdermilk was in the stands instead of paying attention to what the coaches were telling us. But, I wasn't a 10 year old girl playing rec ball. Had I seen an incident like this, the president of the organization would have received a telephone call from me as it was happening.

If indeed he did this, I'm surprised the parents of the girls on his team let it slide...

*and was/is allowed to coach!

(Hence my post about
*Who is coaching your kids?
In an era where anyone can coach.
Should anyone be coaching?
Take a look at that thread if interested.
The post is about growing softball.)


IMO -the Conundrum in this rec thread is
PEOPLE THINK, REACT, AND DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.


My question
Is there for rec situation no guidelines on this yelling style coach.? If no.....
Then you get what you got....
Yelling style coach.
Myself would kick that crap to the curb, you bet i would confront that!!!!

However, some people are ok recognizing that is a coaching style.

*not expressing this to polarize the conversation, nor be the mean goat!

* if the greater majority wants that behavior to stop.
Have to get standards implemented!

 

[BradyC87]

The only way to fail as a coach in 8u rec is to think that success hinges on wins and losses. If your ego needs that sort of validation then you are doing it wrong. Nobody's livelihood depends on getting that big win or being above .500 at that level. What is important is that the players have fun when they are playing for you whether in practice or games. Success should be measured by what percentage of your players sign up next season because they want more of whatever you were doing.

However, once you get into the uber competitive world of 10u all bets are off, and you gotta do what you gotta do to keep the parents from having a melee in the stands because some volunteer high schooler made the right call at home.

False, hard to succeed when you can't play because half the team doesn't show up just because they don't feel like it. Having policies regarding attendance have nothing to do with winning or losing, its called making a commitment to a team and showing some respect to your teammates and coaches.