Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Register Log in

Sucking the Fun out of the Game

May 12, 2016
1,987
63
Any of you ever feel like you are sucking the fun out of the game for both you and your DD? Sometimes I feel this way.. I get a little frustrated that she can't perform/understand a simple concept. She works hard, always willing to put in the extra hours, even though it is not her goal to play college ball. I think I need to take a step back from Over coaching her and enjoy the next couple years.
 

pattar

Clueless..
Jun 8, 2016
3,733
113
Any of you ever feel like you are sucking the fun out of the game for both you and your DD?
Mostly just me, DD has fun, I on the other hand keep moving further and further away from the OF fence during games in an apparent unconscious effort to eventually not be able to see anything...Most times I wish I didn't have the correct way of doing things ingrained in my brain so I could just enjoy the game without constantly analyzing things in my head..

Nothing wrong with just stepping back for a while with the instruction. I think sometimes when I do that DD starts to actually miss the "help" given and is more receptive to it next time I try. Another thing you can try is to just try and remind them of what you are working on and then leave it at that, no bugging/bothering/nagging during the hitting/fielding.
 
Last edited:

sjw62000

just cleaning the dugout
Sep 1, 2018
85
18
North Carolina
Any of you ever feel like you are sucking the fun out of the game for both you and your DD?
This weighs on my mind sometimes. My DD has the terrible misfortune of being both a pitcher and a coach's kid (how cliché, right). In the interest of full disclosure, she didn't start pitching until this year (her choice). However, I digress, I have found a work around for my DD and I.

When DD is struggling, I simply kneel behind DW when she is pitching and filter my comments through DW. This way DD doesn't hear my voice and she can't look over and see me and wonder if I am upset with her. By and large this seems to work. I'm not the HC so stepping out of the dugout once in a while doesn't cause problems.

Lastly, I understand that this might not be the preferred method but for a 12U pitcher in her first season it seems to be effective.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,799
83
100% felt like this in first year 10U. I kept thinking, these kids are 9. Why is this so serious? We're going into 14U and I still feel like that sometimes.
 
Jun 11, 2013
2,051
63
I think I was pretty good at not taking it too serious, but there were a couple of time I wish I could take back what I said to my kids. My only advice to people is to never forget this is a just a game.
 
May 12, 2016
1,987
63
So for me the problem isn't during the game. During the game I have no issues being supportive and not wearing my emotions on my sleeve. It generally occurs during 1x1 when we are practicing. I don't shout or get mad, but I know she can read the frustration on my face when things aren't going well. So for that reason, I stepping back from the technical jargon and trying to produce HL swing and fielding. She's a successful kid playing the highest level of ball, it's not because of my coaching that's for damn well sure, lol. I want her to get back to relying on her natural ability.

BTW, some of our frustration stems from the current situation. The head coach has two of his kids on the team and plays major favoritism towards those players. They get endless opportunities no matter how much they screw up. My DD feels like she has to be perfect to stay in the game, and sometimes forces things because of that. She practices harder and I push her harder to give him no excuse to keep her out the game. This is an approach we both need to change.. she has to stay within herself and play her game.
 
Last edited:
Sep 17, 2009
1,401
63
Julray, you are in the right frame of mind. The best thing is probably NOT to be her instructor. If you aren't in a location or situation where you can count on someone else doing a good job, that's really tough. You can't watch her get taught badly.

So if you must be her instructor, one way to change the 'balance of power' is to position that you guys are going through this together, nobody else gets it so you and her have to do it together. Us against the world. That way, you aren't just telling her what to do and how wrong/badly she is doing it. You are both learning and she can teach you as much as the other way. Beyond that, you can't force her to work, she has to do it herself, right? That's a big part of the equation too. Otherwise, yes, you risk becoming the sucker of fun out of the world for her :(
 

Latest posts

Members online

No members online now.

Latest threads

Forum statistics

Threads
34,539
Messages
503,668
Members
15,946
Latest member
r2ro
Top