So,...you say you know how to...

[texasck1]

2 observations
1 - Knowing when to shut up and not coach is just as important. Ex. DD, who plays 3rd, is struggling a little fielding hard hit balls at her right now and is working thru it. She knows what she is doing, just trying to get her mind and body to react correctly. At practice Monday, every hit from the coach came with a 45 second critique. I could see it in her body language, she knew what she did and just wanted him to shut up and hit another so she could work on fixing it.

2 - As a dad, I have made it my goal to learn everything I possible can to help my DD. I study, research, pay attention to her coaches and at lessons. I may not have played the game, but I think I'm not an idiot either. DD occasionally has what we refer to as "dad's not a total idiot moments". Ex. Went to a pitching clinic with Rick Pauly back in November. I have been working hard to learn and teach her what I have learned. In the 15 minute opening talk, she turned to me with the "you said that to me" look at least 4 or 5 times. Sometimes dad is an idiot until it is proved he isn't. I understand that and make sure she has plenty of opportunities to hear others tell her the same thing I have learned and taught her. Unfortunately, it cost me a lot of money in lessons for that to happen.

There are dad's out there who think they know it all and just drive us all crazy and look like idiots and then there are dad's who take it serious and try to learn and be better for their DD's.

 

[HunterMO]

I played a little bit and in reality I remember very little about how I was taught to do anything. In fact for the most part my old man just pitched to me a bunch and hit me a bunch of ground balls to the point where the actions were unconscious so when I started to try and help my kids it wasn't much help that I could do what I was asking them to do...

This is me and my DS when it comes to teaching him hockey. I've just played so long that at this point I just know how to do it. And trying to teach him the nuances of skating mechanics and stick handling is hard for me. But he's 8 so it's more about the kids getting out there and just playing. The team coaches do a good job teaching the kids "how" to do things. Then I just add in pointers here and there that the coaches maybe didn't touch on. It works out well.

 

[Chris8]

2 observations
1 - Knowing when to shut up and not coach is just as important. Ex. DD, who plays 3rd, is struggling a little fielding hard hit balls at her right now and is working thru it. She knows what she is doing, just trying to get her mind and body to react correctly. At practice Monday, every hit from the coach came with a 45 second critique. I could see it in her body language, she knew what she did and just wanted him to shut up and hit another so she could work on fixing it.

2 - As a dad, I have made it my goal to learn everything I possible can to help my DD. I study, research, pay attention to her coaches and at lessons. I may not have played the game, but I think I'm not an idiot either. DD occasionally has what we refer to as "dad's not a total idiot moments". Ex. Went to a pitching clinic with Rick Pauly back in November. I have been working hard to learn and teach her what I have learned. In the 15 minute opening talk, she turned to me with the "you said that to me" look at least 4 or 5 times. Sometimes dad is an idiot until it is proved he isn't. I understand that and make sure she has plenty of opportunities to hear others tell her the same thing I have learned and taught her. Unfortunately, it cost me a lot of money in lessons for that to happen.

There are dad's out there who think they know it all and just drive us all crazy and look like idiots and then there are dad's who take it serious and try to learn and be better for their DD's.

I got to sit on a bucket and help this young lady @ the Pauly Clinic. She gets it. She's a student and growth oriented. She like many players needs the repetitions to work it out...not the lecture. I watched her grow right in front of me. Often is it was a comment or small moment followed by hard work and adjustments.

I bring this up...because I see this so so so often. Long winded lectures instead of intense work and repetition to master the skill with carefully guided instruction and encouragement.

"Unfortunately, it cost me a lot of money in lessons for that to happen." This is so funny. Our DS was a pitcher and his Junior year first game.....ugh....everything was slightly off. He asked after what I saw...I told him, gave him the adjustment. He told me I was wrong. OK......took him to his PC. PC has him warm up...then throw ten pitches. PC asks me...is that what you saw? YUP. PC asks what I told him....I shared. PC tells him small correction and throw ten more pitches. PC Asks DS how it feels now. Son is ecstatic says he has his groove back. PC looks at him.... and says "You should listen to your Dad....he just paid me $75 for this lesson for you the hear the same thing he told you". The look on DS was priceless. We still laugh about it today. Money well spent.

 

[_MIA_]

This is me and my DS when it comes to teaching him hockey. I've just played so long that at this point I just know how to do it. And trying to teach him the nuances of skating mechanics and stick handling is hard for me. But he's 8 so it's more about the kids getting out there and just playing. The team coaches do a good job teaching the kids "how" to do things. Then I just add in pointers here and there that the coaches maybe didn't touch on. It works out well.

I’ve learned the “how” of what I did (and some about what I should I have done in some cases) as the kids have gotten older. One thing I can do (and could do even before I learned the how) and it can be a detriment at times, is notice right away when something is not being done correctly mainly because I watched so much high level ball growing up.

 

[John 800]

This has been interesting. One of the many things I have thought about while reading this thread is coaching different ages and abilities. The example of the kid and the adult at the beginning reminded me of a freind whose daughters both played competetive travel ball and became very good players. Dad coached her 10u team, had blast for two years then handed them off at 12u. Had no interest in coaching beyond that. A large percentage of his 10u team stayed with his daughter and won the first ever state title the high school had won, along with many travel touneys, and he was glad he got out of coaching before they got to competetive.
My wife got volentold to coach volleyball for my youngest having never played herself, got some help from some very smart helpfull coaches, a great assistant and the group is doing very well, they scrimmaged older girls in the same program last week and the little ones won a set and the three they lost were point for point back and forth all the way. It was awesome to see.
Ill leave you with this for reading thos far i to my blah blah blah. Bill bellicheck was mentioned as a coach that didnt play at a high level but can coach. Picture Bill Bellicheck coaching 10u rec softball.
girl: “How do I put on my catchers gear?”
Bellicheck: “Ok, its too big, do we have smaller gear?”
Assistant: “no”
Bellicheck, spends 10 minutes frantically adjusting straps and putting gear on and says “hows that?”
Girl: “good”
Bellicheck: “ready to learn to catch?”
Girl: “can you help me take it off? I have to pee”

 

[radness]

One other thing to add...
The example RAD used was a kid and parent. What I took from her comment two things: how much do well meaning parents like me know? Also, dont get impatient, get them good coaching and they will get it but it takes time.

✔


Appreciate people taking a look at my initial post and recognizing it was not a kick in the leg to those who coach and may not have actually played. 'Like' the perspectives people brought to the topic! Made for a good read again!
Thank you DFP'ers for all these contributions.

 

[SoftballDadnWV]

2 observations
1 - Knowing when to shut up and not coach is just as important. Ex. DD, who plays 3rd, is struggling a little fielding hard hit balls at her right now and is working thru it. She knows what she is doing, just trying to get her mind and body to react correctly.

This is so important. I can preach and preach and it doesn't work...then I shut up and over a little time, DD2 figures it out. That lets me know she is thinking and trying and I don't have to be "coach", I can just be the Dad who passes with her.

 

[Rolling Hard]

"My point is, the coach is not sharing their strategies with the players, sometimes not even with their assistants. I don't know how many conversations I have had with my DD asking what was the coach's strategy on xyz play. She has no idea."

Little surprised by this.^^^^^

I think part of good coaching is having your players understand strategies and techniques. If they are made to know the how(s) and why(s) we teach this, then they will buy in to the plan. Same with hitting and fielding. Players should have a good understanding on how their swing works and why we do this drill or that drill. When they understand what they are trying to accomplish they stay better focused.

The other question. I can hit, (DD makes me get in the box), throw, and field BUT my DD is much better at all 3 than I could ever be.
No pitching. (front toss master). Told myself I was going to learn how to pitch but it is very hard.

 

[Hawk_]

So yes I know and show how to do everything I teach...... I will never take away from those who studied the games ins and outs and put in the work to become a knowledgeable person. That's like say John Wooden had nothing to teach Kareem.

 

[daywalkerdad]

I would only go to a pitching coach who played not as concerned about the level. The mental side, I struggled with this etc. It really helps if they teach the parent.

I think their is definitely value in playing, but also value in working with and teaching someone.