Small town ball, multiple sports all softball related

[Awesome Sauce Malone]

This is definitely an issue everywhere. I'm in Wichita so I definitely know what you're talking about.

Long story short - Son was never going to get the chance to play baseball in the town he lived in (6A school) So he moved to the school that is in my area (Also a 6A) school and was a 3 year Varsity starter and now playing for a college up your way in the Salina area.

IMO - if you can, move her. And dont let anyone guilt you about it. I understand the whole "Well she needs to work harder" well maybe she does but I can tell you in my specific situation, there was a backstory between the coach at his HS and his summer league coach" So yes cutting and running was in our his best interest since he had no desire to quit playing and he really wanted to play for his school. The smaller the town the bigger the politics.

If there is anything that I've learned about Softball culture in our area is that its very toxic and people have huge egos. I personally refuse to deal with anyone.

 

[corlay]

there is something to be said for playing HS sports - no matter the level of "fairness" in the coaching situation.

In travel sports, families pick their teams and coaches. If things turn sour, you just pick up and move to a new team.
(or just start a new team, the very definition of "Daddy Ball"...)

If you listen to some of the seasoned parents here, ones who have DD's that play or played at the D1 level,
you will hear lots of stories about kids leaving D1 rosters after one, or part of one, season;
sometimes because they don't know how to handle NOT being the starting SS and batting lead-off in every-single-game.

A simple count of the number of freshman on a roster compared to the number of upper classmen, will illustrate this point, more often than not.

In many ways, it's a lot easier to stomach learning how to deal with a little adversity and un-fairness via a HS sport.
A big reason is because it's free and the seasons are relatively short. A lot harder to endure an "un-fair" travel season while you are staying in hotels all summer (and Fall) and paying thousands in teams dues.

But the point is, MANY collegiate freshman come in thinking they are "all that" (deservedly or undeservedly so...);
and make the decision to quit the sport they have been working so hard at most of their lives, rather than sit the bench, when that is the reality of the situation.

 

[mmeece]

I know this sounds blunt, but there are really only 3 options that seem viable to me:
-Move. Yes, I'm serious. If school ball is important to you/her you may have to move.
-Let her play and emphasize that she is playing for fun and her own personal improvement regardless the level. As long as it's fun for her and she can deal with playing below her talent level then go for it.
-Quit school ball and use that time for training, practice, and skills coaching. If school sports cease to be fun then quit sooner than later. If you're not careful she will lose her drive for the sport/sports in general when school ball becomes too much of a drudgery for her.

 

[Fluid Fastpitch]

This is one of the reasons I made a point of picking a better school system to raise my kids in. I know not everyone has that luxury.

 

[cnardone]

unfortunately, this is not just sports but other activities and not just small towns. this happens everywhere. If she loves playing BB, play on the C team. Then go out and destroy those other players in every practice and scrimmage.

 

[CanOfCorn]

Sorry to hear about your predicament and as you see it is not that uncommon. For what it is worth we went through similar stuff.

DD1 played for an elite travel SB team as well as a couple buddies but the assistant SB coach was a daddy-ball guy and funneled his daughter and her friends from his travel team to varsity. DD and buddies played JV or rode the varsity bench most of their careers. DD didn’t play more than 10 varsity games if that.

Yes it was hard many days and took effort to keep her spirits up. In the end it is about the long game so while a couple of the daddy ball girls play at the little satellite state colleges, most never played day after HS. On the other hand DD plays SB at one of the big state colleges.

Your other options are run track or jump ship.


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[The Man In Blue]

I know this sounds blunt, but there are really only 3 options that seem viable to me:
-Move. Yes, I'm serious. If school ball is important to you/her you may have to move.
-Let her play and emphasize that she is playing for fun and her own personal improvement regardless the level. As long as it's fun for her and she can deal with playing below her talent level then go for it.
-Quit school ball and use that time for training, practice, and skills coaching. If school sports cease to be fun then quit sooner than later. If you're not careful she will lose her drive for the sport/sports in general when school ball becomes too much of a drudgery for her.

Small school here, two daughters were very athletic ... both suffered from the small town politics because I was not a butt-kisser to the coaches and AD.

Both suffered through it and went on to play sports (one soccer, one SB and VB) in college. We made it a point to them that they didn’t have to suffer through it though. Their club/travel teams were what turned them into the athletes they were.

I still contend that a good portion of our most athletic athletes do not play at our HS because they chose not to suffer through it. Nothing wrong with that as long as they are doing something productive with their time. (I like the suggestion about doing another activity like theater or scholastic competitions!)

 

[GoRight]

Sorry to hear about your predicament and as you see it is not that uncommon. For what it is worth we went through similar stuff.

DD1 played for an elite travel SB team as well as a couple buddies but the assistant SB coach was a daddy-ball guy and funneled his daughter and her friends from his travel team to varsity. DD and buddies played JV or rode the varsity bench most of their careers. DD didn’t play more than 10 varsity games if that.

Yes it was hard many days and took effort to keep her spirits up. In the end it is about the long game so while a couple of the daddy ball girls play at the little satellite state colleges, most never played day after HS. On the other hand DD plays SB at one of the big state colleges.

Your other options are run track or jump ship.


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My daughter is in a very similar situation. She plays on an 18u Gold team and does very well. She switched schools sophomore year. Very much a political and who you are friends with environment. The coach at the new school barely gave her a chance and didn’t want to shake up her line up I guess. Last year she sat most of the year. No opportunity at all to challenge for a position. It’s going to be hard for her again this year but she will battle through it. She heard some of the returners are not returning...they are opting out or planning on playing a different sport. We shall see. Oh and in case you are wondering this school hasn’t produced a winning softball team in years.


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[uncdrew]

Small school here, two daughters were very athletic ... both suffered from the small town politics because I was not a butt-kisser to the coaches and AD.

Both suffered through it and went on to play sports (one soccer, one SB and VB) in college. We made it a point to them that they didn’t have to suffer through it though. Their club/travel teams were what turned them into the athletes they were.

I still contend that a good portion of our most athletic athletes do not play at our HS because they chose not to suffer through it. Nothing wrong with that as long as they are doing something productive with their time. (I like the suggestion about doing another activity like theater or scholastic competitions!)

How crazy though.

The girls go to a high school. That high school has a team. That high school wants to win state championships.

People suck.

 

[The Man In Blue]

I don’t think our school wants to win State Championships. They haven’t sniffed one in any sport in ages.

Well, I take that back ... a few years ago the girls‘ basketball team made a run to super-sectionals ... of course that was the year the school covered up the basketball team getting busted at a party with alcohol ... openly provided by a parent and posted on social media ... did I mention that two players were teachers’ kids, two were board members’ kids, and one was the AD’s kid?

Before that ... My oldest daughter went to State in 7th grade for volleyball. After that the team turned to a bunch of divas, meddling parents, board members with an agenda, and a revolving door of coaches. They never won any “accolades” again until her senior year; that was just the County Tournament (and the point that I had to have a “visit” with the AD before I was allowed back into volleyball games ... no, I didn’t pull a @pattar ... but I did speak my mind to the coach when she approached me).

We haven’t won a football game in four years .... last year we scored a touchdown (and gave up an average of 57 points a game).

Three of my middle daughter’s four years of softball we had ten players ... from a school with an enrollment usually around 450. That’s not ten varsity and a JV team ... that’s ten players. One year we had to forfeit 4 games because we didn’t have enough players to play.

Our coaches in most sports rarely make it two years. Except our softball coach, who most girls won’t play for. She has lasted despite running kids out of the game, quitting numerous times (in the middle of a season and even during a game), and not producing any results.

Yeah, State Championships ... right ...

Yes. People suck.