Should I play my kid up?

[KAT]

our experiences playing up

My DD has always been a good athlete. She started playing basketball at 5, baseball at 6 and volleyball at 10. She carries a 3.99 gpa (damn a- in her freshman year) She played as a varsity starter in high school in volleyball, basketball and softball. All conference all teams since freshman year. Keep in mind we are a smaller community, she goes to a 4A school, which only houses around 1300 students so of course it might not compare to your DD's that are at 8A schools. I just wanted to give you some background here.


Anyhow mentally she always seemed very mature. So when we were done playing 14U and the season had been pretty frustrating for her because the girls just wanted to mess around we talked to a good friend of ours who used to coach a gold team and who was going to be her high school coach. He suggested we tryout for a 18U team. Or travel out of town. Now traveling out of town was not a consideration as my husband is not a supporter of her playing sports and being on an out of town team he says is the dumbest thing he has ever heard and he would not tolerate us going out of town to play on a team, he feels we already spend to much money and put to many miles on our vehicles. So our choices are limited. We live in a small community, the choices of 16 teams were slim. And at that time there was only one 18u team. So here we are age 13 (wouldn't be 14 until end of November) at a 18u tryout. She did very well and was asked to play on the team. Both of us were pretty excited because these girls took care of business, they came to practice and played hard etc. But little did we know that they also were not real excited to have a 13 year old on the team we just didn't know it yet. So we show up for the first practice and they are ok, didn't talk much to DD but all focused and working hard so we didn't pay to much attention to it. The first tournament was where we began to feel that maybe this wasn't such a good idea the rest of the fall season was not fun, the more my DD played the more the 18's got upset. She had one girl on the team that would talk to her going to tournaments the rest of the season was not really fun, but we didn't want to flake out. Halfway through fall season we had another 18U team come up and ask her to play for them. So at the end of the fall season we decided to go with this other team. Practices go well, she fits it much better with this team they are anxious to see if she has a boyfriend (OH MY) etc. But overall they are a pretty ok bunch of girls. We spend the next year with this team and since all their girls now graduated the coach wanted to take a year or so off, to go see her dd play college ball. So now we are on a new younger 18 gold team, DD has a lot more in common with these girls, because they are the same age. In the last 2 years we have learned, even though DD was a better athlete at 13 and far ahead the other girls catch up. She is still the best catcher on our team but not by far. She has better knowledge of the game, pitch locations etc...but she is just an analyzer by nature. Whatever sport she is playing she impresses coaches with her knowledge of what other kids are doing etc. I believe when she is 17 (she is ahead by a year in school) the rest of the girls will have completely caught up and they will be on a pretty level playing field. Sometimes being ahead in mental or physical is a burden for them, because everyone holds them at such a high level its not always easy to live up to that. School coaches can be pretty hard on her because they expect so much, she is the youngest kid on our the team but is expected to be the leader. Being a good athlete has been fun to watch over the years, sometimes I wonder if she wished for different though. ....I guess we will never know. Bottom line...do whats best for your kid. By 18 I think most kids catch up and play a similar level. By that age the others kids have been weeded out the ones that will be swayed by member of the opposite sex, the typical teen things that might take them away from softball or other sports. What you have left is the kids that take the sport seriously whether they want to play on after high school or not. Sometimes it might be better to stay with kids your own age mentally and enjoy the super star status....not sure if we would change how we did things but wish we could have had a prerun.....

 

[rob782]

This is my first reply and I would thank you all for the great advise.

As a local coach and more importantly dad, I think we must never forget that regardless
of talent they are still very much little girls. Although my daughter is extremely competitive,the social aspect of playing with girls her age has created her best friends on and off the field. My DD who will only qualify for 12U this spring was asked to pitch for our 14U team. I politely declined and here is why. After coaching both ages I find the conversations in the dug out and at practice 14 or 15 yr old girls have is not always appropriate for a 11 yr old. What's going on in their lives is very much different then girls 2 or 3 years younger. She will get there when her time comes and in the mean time enjoy playing with her friends.

 

[3'sDad]

Playing Up

Last Fall DD was 9 and ahead of the curve with her peers, so we took the chance and had her play 12U Fall ball. DD had an opportunity to see the higher level of play and focus required at this level.....she did well and played 12U all Spring as a 10.

We do Little League, so per the LL rules DD needed to play 10U LL All-Stars - she was not thrilled taking a step back, but took on the team leadership role both on and off the field (amazing what 10's do at practice that doesn't happen with the 12's). It worked out in the end for all and as a family we're glad she played up in the Spring as she competed against many of her school peers and 10 with All-Stars...we needed to be careful on the maturity side as even the best 10 is not a 12/13 year old, but the older girls give lots of room to younger players who can really contribute to a teams success....it's a built in support system - team success by the player will help with the peer support of the younger girl, at least thru 12U.

DD is now in a winter clinic with many of the frineds she made last Fall ball season - these girls are all 14-15 and love to see her...she still fits in for the most part, but she tunes them out when the discussion gets to boys- now real interest yet.

 

[Honest Dad]

Moving Daughter up

After watching the video it is obvious that seh needs to play up, the difference between 8U adn 10U isn't that dramatic that you have to worry about it. She might have small issues with the age thing, but her abilities will more then make up for it, she will also have 3 years to improve in 10U and work into the league. If she improves, as I know she will, you will end up in 12U before you know it, the benefits are endless!!!!

I am a coach, my little girl is 11 and plays in 14U, she loves it!!!


Coach

 

[Da Coach]

It's no big deal to have her play 10U as a 7/8 year old. That happens all the time.

I wouldn't keep pushing her up though. The social aspects of playing on a team are more important to kids than their batting average. Let her be a kid and have a home base of kids she plays with.

Keep perspective on this. A lot of times kids that excel at young ages even out over time. Once all the kids reach maturity things can change a lot. How may 12 year olds are playing 16U? Never seen it.

 

[Texas]

How may 12 year olds are playing 16U? Never seen it.

Mine was 12 when she started with her 16U team this fall. I have to say I have had a wonderful experience- the girls have been super nice (still razz her a little), no nasty dugout talk, and skill wise she fits in.

The discrepancy is in her aggressiveness. I have seen a new side to my opinionated, loud-mouthed, me-me-me kid. She lets girls call her off maybe when she shouldn't. She is so focused on not making a mistake, that she now thinks too much instead of pulling the trigger.

If I had it to do over again, I probably would have kept her at 14's this season. "But mom, most of my friends are moving up. I want to play with them". So it was a struggle between what she wanted and what I thought was best. I let her win just this once.

 

[madskilz]

So now that the fall season is over, and moving into spring season, I wanted to revisit this topic.

My daughter will be a second year 12U player in 2009. She played 14U all this season, and for several reasons - she wanted to, 12U team was horrible, terrible coaching, etc. Now that a whole year has gone by, things have changed with her and her old 12U team.

She is a pitcher and had some success at 14U. Her skills on the mound stood on their own. She experienced all of those things in the dug out mentioned before, cussing, clicks, etc. Bottom line though, because she was 12 and they were 14, she never got the chance to lead the team because 14s do not listen to 12s - which to me is an important developement step, especially as a pitcher. As a result, her pitching starting slipping. She felt she had to do it by herself and started over throwing and just developed some bad habits on the mound.

She made the decision to play 12U again and started working out with her 12U team. WOW! A different kid on the field. Leading, working hard, taking charge - and making things happen. Most importantly, helping other girls with things on the field - telling them where to go, how to execute, leading by example. It was instantaneous. She already knows all of these girls because they are part of the same organization - so they accepted her immediately.

So - my recommendation - 14U and below, stay in your own age group. After that, it really doesn't matter because skill dictates the day.

FWIW

 

[coach dennis]

This is my first reply and I would thank you all for the great advise.

As a local coach and more importantly dad, I think we must never forget that regardless
of talent they are still very much little girls. Although my daughter is extremely competitive,the social aspect of playing with girls her age has created her best friends on and off the field. My DD who will only qualify for 12U this spring was asked to pitch for our 14U team. I politely declined and here is why. After coaching both ages I find the conversations in the dug out and at practice 14 or 15 yr old girls have is not always appropriate for a 11 yr old. What's going on in their lives is very much different then girls 2 or 3 years younger. She will get there when her time comes and in the mean time enjoy playing with her friends.

Great post ROB782.

My DD played with the same team for five years. She started playing for the team when she was 8 the rest of the team was 10 and there was no difference between the girls at that time.
The team was very dominant in U10/U12rec leagues so the team played one year of "all start rec" that was not much different than rec except all the teams had uniforms. The team then played two years of travel ball.
Much different than rec. The dedication required to be competitive drove some players away and new players stepped in.
Our last year of playing with the team we played U14 and my DD was 12. Physically she played at the U14 level fine however; off the field interest with the older girls had me concerned as well as the size and strength of the competition.
As I read some of these post and see 12 year olds playing U16/U18 these parents must be crazy or these are bad rec teams.
In our area no way a 12 year old could consistently compete in a solid U16/U18 rec league and certainly not travel ball at that age.
My DDs experience playing up helped her out tremendously however; there is a point when the experience is not worth the risk.
With her now playing with her own age group she enjoys the game more and has become a leader on her team.