Seeking Perspective on Guest Playing While Still Committed to Another Team

[uncdrew]

Fine point Marriard.

If you're interested in a team simply sit with their fans and watch a game or two (with your DD too, if you can). Most likely they'll be in the same tournament as you at some point. You really get a feel for them by observing the team at a tournament.

 

[bmakj]

I guess I have tunnel vision. when I am at a tournament, I am focused on games DDs team is playing (and only notice the other team or their families for negative behaviour), and in between games, on making certain DD eats, airs out her feet, hydrates, uses time to walk to real bathrooms if available, etc.

other than some teams I know I would NOT want her on, never really picked up useful intel at tournaments.

 

[uncdrew]

I guess I have tunnel vision. when I am at a tournament, I am focused on games DDs team is playing (and only notice the other team or their families for negative behaviour), and in between games, on making certain DD eats, airs out her feet, hydrates, uses time to walk to real bathrooms if available, etc.

other than some teams I know I would NOT want her on, never really picked up useful intel at tournaments.

The list above takes about 12 minutes. And she can do most of that by herself or with just a quick reminder from you.

What do you do when you have a two-game break? Those 2 hours really drag out.

 

[marriard]

I guess I have tunnel vision. when I am at a tournament, I am focused on games DDs team is playing (and only notice the other team or their families for negative behaviour), and in between games, on making certain DD eats, airs out her feet, hydrates, uses time to walk to real bathrooms if available, etc.
other than some teams I know I would NOT want her on, never really picked up useful intel at tournaments.

Well now you have something to do between games or before games or after games. It is a great community to be involved in beyond your own team.

DD says it generally takes an hour for me to leave a softball complex just saying hi to people I know on the way out. Drives her nuts.

 

[joe720]

It is a great community to be involved in beyond your own team

Agreed, i spend a lot of time wandering around talking to other team parents around the venue. I don't need to see the team warm up for the 10th time. I generally float around at tournaments and only go to the field we play on when they come out for the fist inning.

 

[djcarter1966]

It is wrong if your motivation for guest playing is purely a way to 'try out' for other teams. That is inappropriate and will cause trouble if it is clear this is what you are doing. The softball community is small, gossipy and burning bridges can be nasty.

You can get to know teams well enough by talking to them at tournaments, sitting near or among their parent group at games and so on.

Guest play because a team is short. That is the ONLY reason we have ever had guest players.

Lastly, whatever you do, be 100% up front with your coach. Always better coming from you than through the grapevine even if they are not happy with what you say or do.

No it's not "wrong" if you are upfront with both organizations.

Tell current coach we are committed through this Spring 2020 season and will not miss any scheduled tournaments, we will be guesting with other teams throughout the season and may miss a couple practices...

Tell guesting coach, we are committed to our current team but don't really see them going in same direction for NEXT season, we can guest whenever it does not conflict with our current teams tournament schedule and while we are not actively looking yet for a team yet would be happy to continue dialoguing if we both feel it is working out

How is that "wrong'?

 

[CMMom1740]

I guess I have tunnel vision. when I am at a tournament, I am focused on games DDs team is playing (and only notice the other team or their families for negative behaviour), and in between games, on making certain DD eats, airs out her feet, hydrates, uses time to walk to real bathrooms if available, etc.

other than some teams I know I would NOT want her on, never really picked up useful intel at tournaments.

Agreed re: the last sentence. I've been surprised at times at how many "elite" teams engage in bush-league behavior (e.g., taunting cheers against the opposing pitcher, yelling "Got it, got it" to try to confuse our fielders, incredibly obnoxious screaming/yodeling to rattle the pitcher). And the HC just stands there like "what's the problem?" That tells you a lot, as does the behavior of the parents. But there have been times when I see very professional warmups and behavior in the dugout that makes a team look appealing. But if it's a screaming HC, all bets are off.

 

[marriard]

No it's not "wrong" if you are upfront with both organizations.

Tell current coach we are committed through this Spring 2020 season and will not miss any scheduled tournaments, we will be guesting with other teams throughout the season and may miss a couple practices...

Tell guesting coach, we are committed to our current team but don't really see them going in same direction for NEXT season, we can guest whenever it does not conflict with our current teams tournament schedule and while we are not actively looking yet for a team yet would be happy to continue dialoguing if we both feel it is working out

How is that "wrong'?

You tell me that and you can just go ahead and leave the team now.

You let your DD guest play because a team is short. Not because you want to try out for them mid-season. You can figure that stuff out without having to guest for them and during the already way too long try out season(s).

Doing the "Oh DD is going to play for X this weekend. They have 14 players already and don't actually need her, but I want to see if it is a good fit for next season and to see if the grass is greener over there"

Yeah, that is not OK. It really isn't. For either team. Not for your current team and not for the kids on the team you are guesting for. And if the coach is one of those 'let's bring in better talent and play them over current players so we can get them for next season' - that is not something you want to be involved in either. Because that will just mean it will be you next season when they are replacing your DD with the next big thing.

 

[djcarter1966]

You tell me that and you can just go ahead and leave the team now.

You let your DD guest play because a team is short. Not because you want to try out for them mid-season. You can figure that stuff out without having to guest for them and during the already way too long try out season(s).

Doing the "Oh DD is going to play for X this weekend. They have 14 players already and don't actually need her, but I want to see if it is a good fit for next season and to see if the grass is greener over there"

Yeah, that is not OK. It really isn't. For either team. Not for your current team and not for the kids on the team you are guesting for. And if the coach is one of those 'let's bring in better talent and play them over current players so we can get them for next season' - that is not something you want to be involved in either. Because that will just mean it will be you next season when they are replacing your DD with the next big thing.

I'm taking whole situation into account...poster said team scrambled at last minute tryouts to get enough girls to keep team together...so you are going to toss your #1 pitcher to the curb and blow up the team cause you don't want Suzie pitching for anyone else, I'm sure the other 9 girls will really appreciate that plus you probably won't do that casue you want to coach your DD and win and Suzie give you the best chance to do both?

I'm also assuming you aren't going to guest for a team with a 14 player roster with a solid #1 and #2 pitcher already....why would they need you to? The assumtion is the other team pticher is hurt and they are down to one good pitcher or they don't really have a solid #1 but are a good team that could be great with some solid pitching etc. Guess I'm assuming you weren't talking about just being a hired gun with an agenda to displace some other teams pitcher this season while leaving your team hanging...yeah that would be wrong

 

[Momof3]

I'm also assuming you aren't going to guest for a team with a 14 player roster with a solid #1 and #2 pitcher already....The assumtion is the other team pticher is hurt and they are down to one good pitcher or they don't really have a solid #1 but are a good team that could be great with some solid pitching etc

Ok what if the other team has two solid pitchers and they are brining in a guest for #3?
And also what if #3 plays with them for double headers
/scrimmages, and not just tournaments?