School ball and not playing for attending a funeral

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Oct 14, 2019
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Not saying I'm right and you're wrong, but if this had happened to my DD, she wouldn't complain, either publicly or privately. I wouldn't complain, either publicly or privately. We would not view or frame this as ''punishment,'' but rather a rule that we didn't agree with. Neither of us would like it, but we'd accept it, cheer on the team and move on. My DD was benched for getting sick the day before and missing practice. So what?

Just my opinion, but I think you're making way too much of this. And that's with me not being there, not knowing the coach, not being in the dugout. Maybe it's different in person. But - and I'm not directing this at you, per se - but parents cannot let themselves get riled up about every coach's decision that they don't like, which can poison their kids' attitudes. Those parents are a pain in the rear to coaches.
It’s just softball. Doubt there’s as much consternation about girls’ academic careers. Too much dad ego tied up in how a girl performs on the softball field.
 
Apr 14, 2022
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👍 like those points brought in to the discussion

'Why does the team not want to show up'

Brought this up earlier about coaching in high school. High school tends to have the most reasons why people will put it on the back burner. The list of why people won't attend a high school practice or game is extensive!!!
And can have absolutely nothing to do about a coach or teammates.

'As a coach you should know who misses for any old reason'

That would be incredibly micromanaging for a coach to have to do. There would be trying to decipher if those were factual reasons or not.
Even considering how important academics and studying is ...
Players have to manage their time appropriately to be able to do a sport.
Fit in their school studies on the outside of the sport.
* if studying were okay to be absent from practice and games list...
It would tear apart any continuity the coach would hope to have. That may sound peculiar but it is a fact. That would be a high school teenagers deciding when they don't have to go to practice.
*** however if a player's grades fall below a certain GPA they will become ineligible for softball. Sports. Perhaps in that way if you want to play the sport you will focus on your grades in the appropriate time frame that you should. And pay attention to attending the sport that you want to be on.
I mentioned why are kids not showing up in a different view.
My DDs love their sports and practice on their own several hours a week. This week my DD said practice was useless tonight. I lied and told it was not, but yes the practice was not time well spent.
Kids are missing practice (not counting legit reasons) for the following reasons
1. They are just not committed and should do something else.
2. To many practices, or bad practice time.
3. Practices are boring and unproductive.
On missing, if it is too taxing for a coach to know who is missing, how do they punish kids for missing? Lol

Just as a parent I can tell the 40% that if they miss you know it is important. The 50% if the miss it is for a reason, but a reason the top 40% would have found a way to get there. 10% who just do not want to practice.

Studying is more important, you know when a kid is using it once a a year is really needing where the kid that does it every week is not time managing.

In my experience coaches cancel or cut off practice early for personal reasons a few times a year. That is perfectly fine.
Why have different standards, would the coach be punished for missing practice for a funeral?
 
Dec 11, 2010
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When people post about a game ”teaching life lessons”, this is the kind of baloney I think of.

There is a reason meatheads like this are softball coaches, not foreign diplomats.

Of course I’m a pretty jaded human being.
 

sluggers

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May 26, 2008
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Dallas, Texas
When people post about a game ”teaching life lessons”, this is the kind of baloney I think of.

There is a reason meatheads like this are softball coaches, not foreign diplomats.

Of course I’m a pretty jaded human being

I disagree about life lessons. The parent has to take the lead in teaching the lesson. "Meatheads" are part of life. Dealing with meatheads is part of everyday life.

E.g., in this situation, you have a death in the family and a unreasonable coach.

Life lesson 1: You have to set priorities. This time, attending the funeral was more important. But, would you skip a job interview for a funeral? How about a vacation to Hawaii? How about surgery? How do you make those decisions?

Life lesson 2: Bosses can be unreasonable. The DD will have to deal with this situation several times in her life. How do you deal with it?

Life lesson 3: Making a choice has consequences. Sometimes the consequences are unreasonable and unfair.
 
Apr 14, 2022
565
63
I disagree about life lessons. The parent has to take the lead in teaching the lesson. "Meatheads" are part of life. Dealing with meatheads is part of everyday life.

E.g., in this situation, you have a death in the family and a unreasonable coach.

Life lesson 1: You have to set priorities. This time, attending the funeral was more important. But, would you skip a job interview for a funeral? How about a vacation to Hawaii? How about surgery? How do you make those decisions?

Life lesson 2: Bosses can be unreasonable. The DD will have to deal with this situation several times in her life. How do you deal with it?

Life lesson 3: Making a choice has consequences. Sometimes the consequences are unreasonable and unfair.
1. Personal and reasonable choice depending on relationship.
2. If it was repercussions for a funeral time to find a new job. That is different for striking out 4 times and going to the bench.
3. This is school, should try to be fair.

To many times schools and coaches develop the attitude that the kids are there for them instead of that they are there for the kids.

Here is a life lesson, never defend the indefensible because you relate to the group.
 
Apr 14, 2022
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I don’t see him defending anything but the reality of what happens in the real world once they leave the nest of their helicopter parents..
Just exactly what does missing practice for a funeral have to do with helicopter parents?
Reality I have never had consequences for attending a funeral.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Just exactly what does missing practice for a funeral have to do with helicopter parents?
Reality I have never had consequences for attending a funeral.
Nothing. It was added just to annoy you..
 
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