School ball and not playing for attending a funeral

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Apr 14, 2022
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Oops, Pardon meant to say that to the OP
Good luck to @gmorg and their team situation hope they can figure it out for next season!
Sincerely!


Simply brought up comments to the discussion point. Sorry to have offended/confused you if it was tagged incorrectly.
___________________

Actually from what you wrote...
it appeares that you also recognize parents prioritize different reasons for absences. Like visit with grandparents.

Which was part of my point.

Because there are so many different reasons that parents/players will prioritize.
It is hard for a coach.
Perhaps if they had one blanket guideline for all School sports everybody would
'already know about it.'
( instead of a mid-season agreement the players made on the team)

Did not say thought that blanket policies were good or not. Yet it's conflict like these that create blanket policies.
If there were excusable absentee reasons everybody could already know.
I thought it might be tagged wrong. No offense taken.
Whenever a policy says softball practice is more important than a funeral something is wrong.
As a coach you should know who attends and who misses for any old reason. It really boils down to control not team imho. The question should be asked why does my team not want to show up.
The mic drop question is, if the coach had missed for the funeral would their be punishment?
 

NEF

May 16, 2012
123
18
New England
Could it be a privacy issue, If the policy is missing practice = not playing 1 game, If you play the player, can you disclose why the exception. Is coach playing favorites, Sally missed practice why is Mary who also missed practice starting/playing? Parents/players not in the know may perceive it the wrong way.
 
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radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
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As a coach you should know who attends and who misses for any old reason. It really boils down to control not team imho. The question should be asked why does my team not want to show up.
The mic drop question is, if the coach had missed for the funeral would their be punishment?
👍 like those points brought in to the discussion

'Why does the team not want to show up'

Brought this up earlier about coaching in high school. High school tends to have the most reasons why people will put it on the back burner. The list of why people won't attend a high school practice or game is extensive!!!
And can have absolutely nothing to do about a coach or teammates.

'As a coach you should know who misses for any old reason'

That would be incredibly micromanaging for a coach to have to do. There would be trying to decipher if those were factual reasons or not.
Even considering how important academics and studying is ...
Players have to manage their time appropriately to be able to do a sport.
Fit in their school studies on the outside of the sport.
* if studying were okay to be absent from practice and games list...
It would tear apart any continuity the coach would hope to have. That may sound peculiar but it is a fact. That would be a high school teenagers deciding when they don't have to go to practice.
*** however if a player's grades fall below a certain GPA they will become ineligible for softball. Sports. Perhaps in that way if you want to play the sport you will focus on your grades in the appropriate time frame that you should. And pay attention to attending the sport that you want to be on.
 
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Jun 8, 2016
16,118
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People need to stop worrying about what everybody else is doing, including how the coach decides to coach/manage the team. Control what you can control. In this case the kid made the right decision in my mind and you are playing for a team/coach which you are stuck with since it is school ball. What good does asking about the coach's decision on here do?
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
Could it be a privacy issue, If the policy is missing practice = not playing 1 game, If you play the player, can you disclose why the exception. Is coach playing favorites, Sally missed practice why is Mary who also missed practice starting/playing? Parents/players not in the know may perceive it the wrong way.
Excellent excellent excellent response absolutely excellent 🏆

* cannot discuss and disclose everybodys reasons with everybody else!
 
Aug 18, 2018
195
28
Perhaps that's part of the conundrum why people are not acknowledging how parents and players react about what other people do. Finding an appropriate balance of excused absences imo will never happen because people will always think their reason is just as valid or important as another's regardless of what it is. Believe it or not!

Being that people have made up lies about going to a funeral makes even more peculiar.

***As a disclaimer not directly finger-pointing at the OP in discussion just a general discussion about families and people with in softball.
No offense taken and thanks to everyone for weighing in.
When a parent speaks to the assistant coach the Saturday before and then sent coach a text day of practice it's most likely not someone throwing excuses. This is in addition to calling her absent from school with her sister for the funeral reason.
Can someone abuse it, yes for sure. But in this case it's easy to check out if the girl was absent from school.

At the end of the day, I think what I found poor form was saying she would be sub in and then be omitted outright. That's a gut punch.

Coaches are definitely in hard positions but they accept that when they take on the responsibility of coaching a team. At the end of the day it's their team but me as a parent in the district I must advocate for our kids (not just mine). There is a power differential between coach and player and certain topics like this are not appropriate for the player to discuss with coach.

Blanket statements are clear, it's this or that, no in between no room for judgement calls and no room for compassion. But I dont think this was a good rule. Better would be, if you need to miss practice let us know and we can advise if it's excused. No notice = unexcused absence and whatever penalties then follow. Adults need to be adults and remember these are still maturing kids.

Sent from my LE2115 using Tapatalk
 

radness

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
7,270
113
Better would be, if you need to miss practice let us know and we can advise if it's excused. No notice = unexcused absence and whatever penalties then follow. Adults need to be adults and remember these are still maturing kids.

Sent from my LE2115 using Tapatalk
That sounds sensible!

And yet would run into

Could it be a privacy issue, If the policy is missing practice = not playing 1 game, If you play the player, can you disclose why the exception. Is coach playing favorites, Sally missed practice why is Mary who also missed practice starting/playing? Parents/players not in the know may perceive it the wrong way.

Simply any decision coach would make in those situations people will have their own interpretation.
 
Mar 4, 2015
526
93
New England
No offense taken and thanks to everyone for weighing in.
When a parent speaks to the assistant coach the Saturday before and then sent coach a text day of practice it's most likely not someone throwing excuses. This is in addition to calling her absent from school with her sister for the funeral reason.
Can someone abuse it, yes for sure. But in this case it's easy to check out if the girl was absent from school.

At the end of the day, I think what I found poor form was saying she would be sub in and then be omitted outright. That's a gut punch.

Coaches are definitely in hard positions but they accept that when they take on the responsibility of coaching a team. At the end of the day it's their team but me as a parent in the district I must advocate for our kids (not just mine). There is a power differential between coach and player and certain topics like this are not appropriate for the player to discuss with coach.

Blanket statements are clear, it's this or that, no in between no room for judgement calls and no room for compassion. But I dont think this was a good rule. Better would be, if you need to miss practice let us know and we can advise if it's excused. No notice = unexcused absence and whatever penalties then follow. Adults need to be adults and remember these are still maturing kids.

Sent from my LE2115 using Tapatalk

Not saying I'm right and you're wrong, but if this had happened to my DD, she wouldn't complain, either publicly or privately. I wouldn't complain, either publicly or privately. We would not view or frame this as ''punishment,'' but rather a rule that we didn't agree with. Neither of us would like it, but we'd accept it, cheer on the team and move on. My DD was benched for getting sick the day before and missing practice. So what?

Just my opinion, but I think you're making way too much of this. And that's with me not being there, not knowing the coach, not being in the dugout. Maybe it's different in person. But - and I'm not directing this at you, per se - but parents cannot let themselves get riled up about every coach's decision that they don't like, which can poison their kids' attitudes. Those parents are a pain in the rear to coaches.
 
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