School ball and not playing for attending a funeral

[daywalkerdad]

What I have noticed being a coach in
high school, college, and travel ball.

In high school there is far more fluctuation of attending practice and games. Not only because High School is 5, 6 days of the week.
But because it tends to be put on the back burner of a lot of other reasons.

While a funeral is a pretty heavy reason.
We may want to acknowledge the importance of the funeral. But when it comes down to it, parents about their kids believe other things are equally a priority no matter what!!!
whether it's a doctor's appointment, a 16th birthday, visiting with Grandma and Grandpa. School work. Studying for a test.

This may not be the popular opinion here. And that's okay.
But...
There is the fact that we know how parents want to make everything about their kid a priority. Plus, Somewhere in there are people who lie, people who take advantage, and in high school parents will scream favoritism and abruptly cause disruption the moment they think something is not in favor of their own kid.
Immediately contacting the principal or athletic director to get the coach in trouble. This may not be a warm and fuzzy reality. But it is a fact.

I am not justifying how any coach wants to coach their team. However especially in a high school environment. Keeping things as standard across the board with everybody could possibly be the best because it makes everybody equal.

I want to say team and practice is very important to my family. My DDs probably have the top attendance on their respective teams. We schedule around and the rarely miss.
School work IS more important than Sports. This can usually be worked around, only one time my DD that dances had to leave early.
When you see your grandparents 2-3 times a year that can be more important. We have never missed for this but I understand and would be more important.

 

[CoachJD]

Thinking about this more, this would be a situation where a discussion with an AD is appropriate, even though it's technically playing time related. If the coach clearly stated the player was not playing for missing a practice to attend a funeral, that's a bad team policy and I think it's one case where an AD should at least have a discussion with the coach.

The assumption here is the OP's DD plays all the time, so sitting for a while game was an obvious punishment. Is that actually the case?

 

[radness]

I want to say team and practice is very important to my family. My DDs probably have the top attendance on their respective teams. We schedule around and the rarely miss.
School work IS more important than Sports. This can usually be worked around, only one time my DD that dances had to leave early.
When you see your grandparents 2-3 times a year that can be more important. We have never missed for this but I understand and would be more important.

So you can understand how the coach has to balance out every different families separate priorities.
Including other players sitting out that game.
________________

Edit:
@gmorg ~ Good luck hope you, your daughter, the other parents, team and the coach can figure this out for the next season.

This discussion is why blanket policies get made and established. Whether it satisfies everybody or not.

 

[Nimrod]

I don't like the rule, but it doesn't rise to the level of requiring any negative energy expended. I'd support the coach, stay positive, resist complaining or sharing my feelings w/ DD about it and resist enabling her to complain or think less of coach or grumble about it with teammates. DD missed 1 game. No big deal. It's high school sports. Purpose is education. She's been given the challenge of doing what's best for her team in an unfair situation. Good experience, IMO.

 

[Chilixa]

Unfortunately team lost and several girls who were impact players were not in game (sick or return from trip and absent day prior).
I can imagine what these girls all say at school tomorrow.

Sent from my LE2115 using Tapatalk

I am going to throw out a possible point of view from the coach that might be a little unpopular. I have a hunch based on the quote above, the coach is likely getting frustrated with girls not being at practice/games. Very hard for a coach to develop a team or plan for games when you never know who will be there.

The coach may have decided to just reward those that were at practice with playing time. More about setting the culture and expectations for the team than winning that one game.

Now I do agree missing for a funeral is a legitimate excuse. But I think the fact that others were missing as well caused your DD to get caught up in the consequences of a frustrated coach. If the lack of playing time continues because of that one absence I would have an issue as a father. But I could overlook a one game decision by the coach to bench my kid.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[gmorg]

Thinking about this more, this would be a situation where a discussion with an AD is appropriate, even though it's technically playing time related. If the coach clearly stated the player was not playing for missing a practice to attend a funeral, that's a bad team policy and I think it's one case where an AD should at least have a discussion with the coach.

The assumption here is the OP's DD plays all the time, so sitting for a while game was an obvious punishment. Is that actually the case?

You're right. She is a starter and not playing at all to the point of being omitted from a lineup card listed for substitution is a clear punishment. I'm not going to bring this to AD as I'm curious what is said or not said at practice today and the discussion starts with the coach.

What happened is done and my larger concern is that this does not happen to someone else.

Sent from my LE2115 using Tapatalk

 

[daywalkerdad]

So you can understand how the coach has to balance out every different families separate priorities.
Including other players sitting out that game.

Good luck hope you, your daughter, the other parents, team and the coach can figure this out for the next season.

This discussion is why blanket policies get made and established. Whether it satisfies everybody or not.

Why do you mention next season, or figure this out? (maybe you confuse me with someone else) My daughters is one of the hardest working, best teammate on the team. My biggest joy was not when my daughter threw a no hitter, or struck out 15 batters ..... It was when another Dad on the team told my when his daughter was new to the team, my daughter was the nicest and most welcoming.
Your post is so odd, I never said anything about issues, etc. It is like you have to personalize it, or attack when someone disagrees with you. We have it figured out this season, and every season prior. LOL I assume every season in the future will be fine.

Blanket policies are bad. They show a lack of common sense.
Education > School Sports
Family > Sports
In a perfect world they are balanced where one does not interfere with the other. This is not always possible.

 

[radness]

Why do you mention next season, or figure this out? (maybe you confuse me with someone else)

Oops, Pardon meant to say that to the OP
Good luck to @gmorg and their team situation hope they can figure it out for next season!
Sincerely!

My daughters is one of the hardest working, best teammate on the team. My biggest joy was not when my daughter threw a no hitter, or struck out 15 batters ..... It was when another Dad on the team told my when his daughter was new to the team, my daughter was the nicest and most welcoming.
Your post is so odd, I never said anything about issues, etc. It is like you have to personalize it, or attack when someone disagrees with you. We have it figured out this season, and every season prior. LOL I assume every season in the future will be fine.

Simply brought up comments to the discussion point. Sorry to have offended/confused you if it was tagged incorrectly.
___________________

Actually from what you wrote...
it appeares that you also recognize parents prioritize different reasons for absences. Like visit with grandparents.

Which was part of my point.

Because there are so many different reasons that parents/players will prioritize.
It is hard for a coach.
Perhaps if they had one blanket guideline for all School sports everybody would
'already know about it.'
( instead of a mid-season agreement the players made on the team)

Did not say thought that blanket policies were good or not. Yet it's conflict like these that create blanket policies.
If there were excusable absentee reasons everybody could already know.

 

[MNDad]

Out of curiosity what was the relationship to the family member? In work places time off for immediate family usually get bereavement pay. Aunts, uncles, cousins will still be given time off, but vacation be might have to be used. Could this be something simian?

Another consideration is coach could have wanted to reward the girls who were at practice. I wouldn’t have a problem if that were her reasoning.

 

[Dabears17]

Another consideration is coach could have wanted to reward the girls who were at practice. I wouldn’t have a problem if that were her reasoning.

This is what my thought process would of been, but pretty strange she left her off the line-up card. In 12u one fall ball tournament my DD was there Saturday, but couldn't make Sunday until the championship game. She texted the coach when she knew she could make the championship game that she had no expectation of playing, but in case she was needed, put her on the line-up card. Turned out she was needed to courtesy run for the pitcher.

Technically the coach in HS could add her to the line-up with just a warning, but still.

2019 NFHS softball rule 3-1 ART. 3 . . . The team's lineup card shall include first initial and last name, jersey number, position and batting order of each starting player and shall include each eligible substitute. Lineups become official after they have been exchanged, verified and then accepted by the plate umpire during the pregame conference.

PENALTY: After the lineup card has been submitted to and verified by the umpire and a change is subsequently made to a player/substitute name or number, or if a player/substitute is added to the lineup card, the umpire shall issue a team warning to the head coach of the team involved. Any further changes made to a player/substitute name or number results in the head coach being restricted to the dugout/bench area for the remainder of the game.



2019 NFHS Softball Case Book 3.1.3 Situation: The visiting team’s head coach submits and verifies a lineup card with No. 4, L. Brown listed eighth in the batting order and playing first base. However, L. Brown is actually wearing uniform No. 21. After reaching base in the top of the third inning, the home coach appeals to the umpire that L. Brown is batting out of order. RULING: L. Brown is the correct batter but is in violation of the rule that requires a player’s name and shirt number be correct on the lineup card. A team warning is issued to the visiting head coach, the error is corrected on the lineup card and play is resumed. Any subsequent name or number correction (including adding a substitute) to the lineup card will result in the visiting head coach being restricted to the team dugout/bench area for the remainder of the game.