Quitting already?

[Dabears17]

Curious - What's the difference?

1) At her retail job she has two other teenagers co-workers and at least one adult manager within a 30 foot radius of her if a customer has an issue.
2) If a customer has an issue at her retail job its just her job. If she gets grief umpiring, its ruining her favorite recreational activity as an athlete. She loves coaches who hold her accountable for her mistakes.
3) She earns basically the same pay in retail for less grief than umpiring where its likely she will get grief from half her customers at least 4 times an hour when she makes the correct call,
4) 70 to 80 pct of her retail customers are fellow teenagers, not adults 14+ years older than her.

 

[radness]

There are lots of jobs that not everyone is cut out for.

There are a lot more softball games being played nowadays than there used to be. Supply and demand.

 

[chinamigarden]

Get thicker skin is what I would answer. Like a retail worker has to do. Try to be less offended. Brush it off and forget about it. People in all kinds of professions have to deal with rude people. Just be one of them.

Obviously it's not cool for someone to say that to you but realistically, someone saying "That's terrible" is not the end of the world. If something like "that's terrible" offends you, how do you survive driving in traffic? Lol.... We have to deal with rude inconsiderate people every day from the guy at the grocery store who has 25 items in the 15 item or less line to the lady that swings in front of you for that prime parking spot. Just have to smile and move on because there is no way we can re-train all of the rudeness out of people these days. That horse is out of the barn.

I don’t think retail worker is the standard of civility to shoot for. In fact we should treat retail workers better.

Yes an ump needs thicker skin, but imagine if they didn’t need it?

 

[Traps71]

When multiple kids quit the same team, it's time to look for the bigger problem. Might not be the girls leaving that are the problem.

I've seen girls finally stand up to a jerk-wad coach and it's refreshing. Sad it comes to that, but glad there are young women who know how to stand up for themselves. Coaches using them to re-live their youth, win plastic trophies or boast amongst coaches is sad, pathetic stuff.

I don’t think the HC (or assistant coaches) are jerks. HC and one assistant has been there 16 years and another 12 years. They run a “clean” program and, overall, a successful one (judging by competitiveness+W/L record). That said, all the coaches are older (in their 60s, I’d guess). No offense @Cannonball!! There is nothing wrong with that, but the generation gap with the players is growing ever wider and I think you probably have to think more about and work harder at how to communicate with girls who are 14-18 years old and just have different expectations and frames of reference than those of 20+ years ago.

Apart from concerns over playing time, I think the central issue with these “hissy quits”—and any lingering discontent on the team—surrounds communication. As one example, the coaches do not communicate during games when they want a reliever to start getting loose or which one (there are potentially three to choose from). My DD is one such reliever. Based on suddenly being thrown into a game cold with no warning or warm up, she has taken it upon herself—depending on the game situation—to simply go to the bullpen on her own to get warm…even if she doesn’t know she is going to be the reliever they want. They simply don’t communicate this information.

If you are not one of the starting 9 (or 10 w/DP+Flex), it can feel like you don’t even exist. I wouldn’t call it toxic, but team cohesion (and perhaps performance) could be improved with greater communication and making everyone feel valued. If the player doesn’t have value to the team in the mind of the coaches (at least that is the way it comes across many times) then why are they on the team at all?

 

[marriard]

Suggesting an outside the box solution to a problem and pointing out that umpiring is a job for some reason has upset you.

Mainly because suggesting umpires have 'thicker skins' is not an 'out of the box' solution.

Most umpires have extremely thick skins. Especially the ones that have been around for any length of time.

I have ben lucky enough to have had the opportunity to umpire basketball at a high D1 level - that includes games with thousands of fans who are supporting ONE side and are on you for the moment you walk onto the floor. I am not sure how much thicker my skin could be.

 

[radness]

Most umpires have extremely thick skins. Especially the ones that have been around for any length of time.

Sports examples

I have ben lucky enough to have had the opportunity to umpire basketball at a high D1 level - that includes games with thousands of fans who are supporting ONE side and are on you for the moment you walk onto the floor. I am not sure how much thicker my skin could be.

Obviously the topic of abrasive people is spread around.

If EVERYONE had thicker skin,
(Ease up on the sensitive emotional reaction to their own opinion that might be based on ego or parental DNA or _____)

This could better.
_________________________

However there very well could be more to this conversation that really hasn't been discussed and that is
*Fan Participation.

It appears (to me anyway).
The fans haggling the officials is part of the fans experience at sporting events. And taking that a little further there are other things in our social world that include people rising up with opinions and demonstrations of them.

* just a comment of perspective added
not a Jerry Maguire statement that makes it okay to haggle and be abrasive.

 

[marriard]

I'll tell you two things I've learned in umpiring for the last four years:

1-Its not as hard as you think to umpire a game. Most games are simple, balls/strikes, safe/ out on base. You'll get the occasional infield fly or interference, and once in awhile you may get a head scratcher, so you should have a good grasp of all the rules (I've read them all numerous times but I know something may pop up that I'm still not sure of). It's good exercise too to get in position for calls, I look at it like that.

I like to think about it like driving a car.

Once you build up your basic skills, then your day-to-day normal drive becomes straightforward and is not difficult (and you start to wonder what was so hard about this in the first place).

It then becomes how you react and what you do when something irregular happens.

Also as you do more and more complex drives, then you need additional skills and training to handle the new level of driving.

I will go back to my training/investment solution. We don't even provide basic skills training to new umpires. We certainly don't offer continuing education with any meaning (unless the umpire wants to spend $$$$). I did my first softball game after a 1-2 hour clinic - but I could lean on years of officiating other sports plus I had been coaching softball for many years plus I am a researcher - so learnt a lot from MTR and Comp here at DFP. Everyone else at the same clinic also were doing games... they did not have any of that.

 

[radness]

I like to think about it like driving a car.

Once you build up your basic skills, then your day-to-day normal drive becomes straightforward and is not difficult (and you start to wonder what was so hard about this in the first place).

It then becomes how you react and what you do when something irregular happens.

Also as you do more and more complex drives, then you need additional skills and training to handle the new level of driving.

I will go back to my training/investment solution. We don't even provide basic skills training to new umpires. We certainly don't offer continuing education with any meaning (unless the umpire wants to spend $$$$). I did my first softball game after a 1-2 hour clinic - but I could lean on years of officiating other sports plus I had been coaching softball for many years plus I am a researcher - so learnt a lot from MTR and Comp here at DFP. Everyone else at the same clinic also were doing games... they did not have any of that.

Good analogy about driving a car.
Like the training comments.

Made me think about this perspective towards it

Driver's education has been removed from high schools. Not sure about all areas of the nation but they don't offer that now here in high schools anymore.
So young people have to take initiative to go get an education to learn to drive and go to Driving School. Even with that
car insurance is more expensive for younger drivers by three to four times.


Truck drivers have to go to trucking school if they want to become truck drivers.
To get a special certification.

I understand some jobs people get hired and employer trains them for it.
Usually those are very medial jobs.

*But in a lot of cases the person that is being hired has to already have the skills and certification and or a degree before they will hire them. Of which that skills training has to be taken by the individual's initiative.

 

[uncdrew]

I don’t think the HC (or assistant coaches) are jerks. HC and one assistant has been there 16 years and another 12 years. They run a “clean” program and, overall, a successful one (judging by competitiveness+W/L record). That said, all the coaches are older (in their 60s, I’d guess). No offense @Cannonball!! There is nothing wrong with that, but the generation gap with the players is growing ever wider and I think you probably have to think more about and work harder at how to communicate with girls who are 14-18 years old and just have different expectations and frames of reference than those of 20+ years ago.

Apart from concerns over playing time, I think the central issue with these “hissy quits”—and any lingering discontent on the team—surrounds communication. As one example, the coaches do not communicate during games when they want a reliever to start getting loose or which one (there are potentially three to choose from). My DD is one such reliever. Based on suddenly being thrown into a game cold with no warning or warm up, she has taken it upon herself—depending on the game situation—to simply go to the bullpen on her own to get warm…even if she doesn’t know she is going to be the reliever they want. They simply don’t communicate this information.

If you are not one of the starting 9 (or 10 w/DP+Flex), it can feel like you don’t even exist. I wouldn’t call it toxic, but team cohesion (and perhaps performance) could be improved with greater communication and making everyone feel valued. If the player doesn’t have value to the team in the mind of the coaches (at least that is the way it comes across many times) then why are they on the team at all?

Yeah, doesn't sound great. So much of team happiness and chemistry does come from good communication.

 

[El Oso]

Mainly because suggesting umpires have 'thicker skins' is not an 'out of the box' solution.

So you get upset with someone for suggesting an out of the box (or what they think is an out of the box) solution? Someone thinks something is out of the box and you disagree so you get upset? Learn how to disagree without getting upset.