Question for the high school parents

[Rick M]

Just so the OP doesn’t feel alone, we’ve had a similar experience where DD’s best coaches have been former college players and her worst coaches have been dads.

If you were to make a list from best to worst, there might be a dad or two in the middle that comes out ahead of a former player, but the best and worst edges are the exclusive domains of former players and dads, respectively.

I include myself in the latter category


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[Eric F]

Just so the OP doesn’t feel alone, we’ve had a similar experience where DD’s best coaches have been former college players and her worst coaches have been dads.

If you were to make a list from best to worst, there might be a dad or two in the middle that comes out ahead of a former player, but the best and worst edges are the exclusive domains of former players and dads, respectively.

I include myself in the latter category


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What about parents who were also former players? My DD's best coaches were both.

 

[CoachJD]

From what I've seen/experienced, the biggest issue with the former college player is being so unwilling to do anything different from what they were taught. They coach what and how they were coached, and as we all know with the proliferation of HE teaching from former pitchers who didn't pitch with HE, this can be a really terrible recipe. It can be difficult to get them to examine their methods and what they were taught.

The same is true of some dad coaches, of course, but those dads don't have the appeal to authority logical fallacy propping up their bad ideas.

 

[Rick M]

What about parents who were also former players? My DD's best coaches were both.

She’s only had two. One mom who played college ball, who the girls all liked but her own daughter was a really poor player so she stopped coaching after one year of rec.

The other was a dad who played P5 baseball. He absolutely knew what he was talking about, and gave the girls a lot of his time and expertise. But he was so competitive that there was a lot of yelling and girls who weren’t in his top nine never saw the field, because every game was a must-win (this was 10U).


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[nikkilugi]

So now have we morphed from discussing a HS coach into travel ball coaches? I mean - is the HS coach a parent? In my experience HS coaches are 'usually' teachers looking to pick up some extra dough. DD's HS coach is a woman who is also a teacher at the HS. The assistant coach is a former D1 player from Radford who is not a teacher that I'm aware of. Both seem to be great but the HC is definitely grooming AC to take over soon I think.

If we are discussing men vs women coaches I will say my DD has always done better with male coaches. That is just the observation we have noticed so we tend to make most of her lesson coaches male (as needed). Ironically the HC of the college she committed to is also male. That being said we believe DD has been extremely lucky in her career to have been surrounded by many great coaches. A couple were women (former D1 players) and some were Dad's and now she has a non-dad coach as his kids have moved on to college. There were good things and bad things in each experience - current included - it's the nature of the beast. Ultimately she is happy and that's all that matters.

 

[Rick M]

So now have we morphed from discussing a HS coach into travel ball coaches?

Yes, Wildcat answered the original question decisively in post #2:

As a player, you figure out how to play for them. As a parent, you let your player figure out how to play for them.

She's going to have great and terrible teachers, professors, coaches and bosses.

The rest of the thread is a little more freewheeling. It’s part of the charm of DFP.


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[Eric F]

So now have we morphed from discussing a HS coach into travel ball coaches? I mean - is the HS coach a parent? In my experience HS coaches are 'usually' teachers looking to pick up some extra dough. DD's HS coach is a woman who is also a teacher at the HS. The assistant coach is a former D1 player from Radford who is not a teacher that I'm aware of. Both seem to be great but the HC is definitely grooming AC to take over soon I think.

If we are discussing men vs women coaches I will say my DD has always done better with male coaches. That is just the observation we have noticed so we tend to make most of her lesson coaches male (as needed). Ironically the HC of the college she committed to is also male. That being said we believe DD has been extremely lucky in her career to have been surrounded by many great coaches. A couple were women (former D1 players) and some were Dad's and now she has a non-dad coach as his kids have moved on to college. There were good things and bad things in each experience - current included - it's the nature of the beast. Ultimately she is happy and that's all that matters.

I think the only conclusion we can draw about parent/non-parent/former-player coaches is that none of it is an accurate predictor for the quality of a coach or instructor, either TB or school ball. Good coaches are good coaches, regardless. Bad coaches are bad coaches, regardless.

 

[Rolling Hard]

When being offered a spot on a roster would it be OK to ask the Coach what was the last book he read about coaching? How about if they ever heard of DFP? Lol.
Some coaches have a natural disposition/personality that can nuture and inspire but most do not and would greatly benefit from reading and applying coaching techniques.
Here is a simple example I read: Eliminate cant, don't, won't, never, shouldn't, fix it, etc. So I tried it. I would catch myself using negative words. You have to work at it.
That being said, I see parents put their 12 y/o DDs on the teams with the berating screamer thinking its going to toughen them and make them better players. Sometimes it works. Not my cup of tea. If you believe your DD might be playing this game for 10 or 12 years, do you want your them to become accustomed to a man or women yelling and berating them? Not me.

 

[CoachJD]

Here is a simple example I read: Eliminate cant, don't, won't, never, shouldn't, fix it, etc. So I tried it. I would catch myself using negative words. You have to work at it.

This is something I work on, too. I will talk about fixing because I don't consider that negative in the same way the other words are. "Fixing" is part of the process of getting better. I also think you have to be honest and transparent. If a girl is working on a known flaw, it's fine to talk about fixing it.

If you are going to bring up a negative ("Don't do this") you absolutely must follow up with the positive ("Instead, do it this way"). It's very easy to criticize. It's easy to point out what's wrong. That's not helpful unless you give players solutions for how to, well, fix it.

 

[Rick M]

When being offered a spot on a roster would it be OK to ask the Coach what was the last book he read about coaching? How about if they ever heard of DFP? Lol.

Saw a coach recently trying to help a girl with her overhand throwing. He was making her point the ball behind her (“towards the outfield wall”).

I asked him if he follows Austin Wasserman on Twitter or Facebook.

“Never heard of him.”

Have a great season, coach.


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