Potential Team Mutiny; Horrible Assistant Coach

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Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
This is 16U A-level team. Head Coach is fantastic and the original Assistant Coach is as well. My DD had a stress fracture in her foot over Dec/Jan, so we were out for a while and missed practices. When we came back for our first spring tournament in February, one Dad was now serving on the coaching staff (primarily as first-base coach). Our #1 pitcher's father was already grousing about it when we saw him, but we didn't make too much of it.

That weekend, he not once but twice, showed his rear end (colorful expression we use here in the South) by challenging calls (both of which involved his own DD) by screaming and essentially charging the umpire. This was jarring to say the least. It then happened again at another tournament. At this point, we'd spoken with several other parents, all of whom echoed frustration. If all that HC needed was a warm body to help, he had numerous other choices and this guy doesn't even really know what he's talking about in terms of coaching (he certainly thinks he does).

My DH spoke to HC who acknowledged that there was an issue and basically said, "I'll take care of it." A couple of weeks later, problem AC is back at it. This time, my DH actually approached him and told him that our DD will not play for a Coach who behaves that way and that he was being a terrible role model. DH does not mince words, so that is pretty much what he said. Bad AC got pissed at my DH and moped.

Today, he's still there. During the game, girl on the opposing team slid into third. She was obviously out, but ump called her safe. HC calmly appealed the call and they conferred and called her out. The opposing HC appealed again and then they called her safe. Like, huh? Bad AC went BALLISTIC, screaming and the whole nine yards. ALL of our parents were embarrassed and mortified. Later in the game, our CF missed a ball and HC took her out (I think she'd had an error previously). She was obviously pissed at herself, but went into the dugout and bad AC lit into her LOUDLY and was berating her for not listening to him, etc...

At this point, HC signaled for the team manager to get him out of there, which she did. She had words with him over to the side and then he sat and watched the rest of the game.

My question: at what point do the parents on this team need to play hardball and tell our HC (whom we love) that it's this guy or a bunch of us will walk? He was not on the coaching staff when we signed on. I honestly do not understand HC's reluctance. It's not like bad AC's DD is irreplaceable or our #1 pitcher or anything. What would you (parents/coaches) recommend?
 
Jan 7, 2019
20
3
The problem is it's a little late in the season to move the team to a different organization. I would speak to the #1 pitchers parents and the director of course. If things keep up like that, the team might have to break up and head in different directions.
 
May 17, 2012
2,804
113
My question: at what point do the parents on this team need to play hardball

I can't believe you haven't done this already. At the end of they day you are your childs parent.

Why you would expose your daughter to this nonsense is beyond me. I would literally pull my child during a game/tournament.

I coach 16A travel ball and it's not normal.
 
Last edited:

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
At this point it is up to you to take action. It is not something you can wait for everyone to agree with because there is always one person who thinks this is normal or they are 'just coaching hard'. Tell other parents on the team you believe agree with you that you are going to do it, and they can support you if they like which if they do, will allow your position to be stronger.

Privately and politely tell your HC that you have addressed this previously with them, that it happened again, and either the AC is removed or you will be leaving the team (and maybe others) if he is allowed to continue to be in the coaching staff. You can add in that you believe the HC is wonderful as a softball development coach, but this is unacceptable and you will not expose your DD to this any longer. The AC had his chance, but he blew it. There was a line drawn and they crossed it.

I will also add this cannot be a bluff. Be prepared to walk. There is always another team and another coach and another situation.

I hate having to organize a coup, but if you have to, you have to.
 
Feb 26, 2018
328
28
We had a similar issue last year on my DD's 12U team. AC was the father of one of the pitchers and would get poopy when she didn't pitch. When she did, it was a mess and he blamed everyone for her struggles. None of the girls respected him or really listened to him. HC had several conversations with him about his behavior, but nothing really changed. He ended up forcing the HC's hand when his DD gave up 6 runs in the first inning before the HC pulled her. He went ballistic in the dugout, calling our other AC names, the ump had to even come over and tell him to stop. It was embarrassing. He was gone after that, and a month later pulled his DD off the team. You guys are getting into the heart of the season, and if something isn't done now, it's going to get really bad. I think all the parents need to band together, talk to the coach and tell him that AC needs to go. It's either that or he's not going to have any more players...
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
What happens when you are playing a showcase this summer and the AC blows up in front of college coaches? A few years ago I was watching a game and coach who used to be with a team that has burnt orange colors was also watching this game. Coach of the team on the field did not like a call, and had a hissy fit to the point I was a little uncomfortable with the HC/umpire exchange. The coach turned around and under her breath said I will never take any player from that team.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
So we got this text from the team manager last night on the group chat:

"Dear parents until further notice, HC and good AC will be working together to seek out a second assistant coach for the rest of the season. This persons primary role would be to fill in when HC or good AC are absent. Thanks for your patience through this transition."

I hope this will be the end of it. I checked the roster on TeamSnap this AM and the DD of the bad AC is still on it, but I will not be at all surprised if they leave. He honestly doesn't believe he's done anything wrong and feels like he's being targeted. Geez, gain some insight, buddy.

And it would have been nice if they had done this when the issue was first brought up in early March.
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
Kids' health (physical and mental) comes first.

If one of you "good" parents is happy to take over first base coach responsibilities, bring this solution to the HC to eliminate that one possible obstacle.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
Kids' health (physical and mental) comes first.

If one of you "good" parents is happy to take over first base coach responsibilities, bring this solution to the HC to eliminate that one possible obstacle.

Not sure if this is meant to be snarky or not, but I suspect that is what will happen. The original AC's wife is actually a coach herself and could easily step in. It needs to be someone who is adept at calling pitches if HC were to be out, so there needs to be some skill there (I know I certainly couldn't do that never having played ball before).
 

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