Poor behavior

[angispeds]

Really really tired of watching coaches, mostly male, talk down to these young athletes in such sarcastic passive aggressive ways. Very high level tournament this weekend where I watched a well known coach have something snarky to say on literally every single play. These girls are out there doing their very best. No one is trying to make an error or not throw a strike. These guys just sit there on their buckets and heap on the criticism when they couldn’t even make it to first base without some oxygen. I feel feel really bad for a lot of the daughters too I can’t imagine what it’s like at home or on the car ride. My kid is no princess and I expect her to be held accountable but not the passive aggressive BS.


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[Rolling Hard]

Well , thank you for your input and don't be careful. Seen the worst of it coaching 1st base. Thinking to myself, how in the hell could you (a parent) allow some loud mouth, berating piece of crap talk to your DD in this fashion. The only way this is going to change is if parents stand up and say NO! NO! you can not talk to my DD that way. Not going to happen.

 

[GIMNEPIWO]

Contrary to the OP, I myself have seen more abusive coaches who are female. But, male/female does not matter.

Holding players accountable and berating them in public are two different things ... No one ever got better by being humiliated ... The motivation for the coach is to deflect blame and show everyone within earshot that they are in charge, they know the player screwed up and it's not their fault ... They're the big shot over compensating by bullying for their ineptness.

But, some things can not wait until the end of the game and need to be said. Add to that some parents are watching the game through rose colored glasses. It can also be quite frustrating as a coach when you know you've gone over certain aspects of the game and or plays and it all turns to crap when the chips are down ... I choose to use those times as a teaching moment for me in that I need to rethink the way the lesson is being taught, because its not hitting home.

I had a JV program once where the head varsity coach, (now a D1 college college coach) used to routinely verbally (and physically athletically) abuse her players and make them cry ... It never worked ... Her D1 college coaching is as bad as her HS coaching was.

 

[Westwind]

I look forward to when you and your dd can experience the well reasoned professionalism of the college coaches you will see on both sides of the field.

 

[radness]

I look forward to when you and your dd can experience the well reasoned professionalism of the college coaches you will see on both sides of the field.

... and hopefully not experience the Terrible unprofessionalism that can also be at the college coach level.

__________________________

imo
This topic is not about softball it is just about the social nature of certain people in our community.

Stay positive, Learn to toughen up and keep a level head on our shoulders!

 

[uncdrew]

There is a handful of teams (coaches, rather) who my DDs simply won't play for. Life is too short, make sure they're having fun when they're kids.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

My daughter's previous TB coach was one of those serial abusers, especially to his own daughter on the field. It was embarrassing to watch. Here was this 400 lb man chewing tobacco screaming at a bunch of fit athletes working their butts off while the bucket he sat on groaned in agony under his immense girth. This guy couldn't climb a flight of stairs without breaking into a flop sweat, yet he would yell at a girl for not busting it hard enough. He had to prove to everyone that he knew more than the girls. He's now the coach of the top team in our prior organization. By my count, he now has seven D1 commits who've left since 2019, and he only has three who have stayed.

A good coach can make the game enjoyable. A bad coach forces people out of the game.

 

[Agcy]

Yeah, the 2 best coaches my daughters has were men (they would run through a wall for them) . The 2 worst were women (head games, sarcasm, favorites). But the point is valid.

 

[FP26]

... and hopefully not experience the Terrible unprofessionalism that can also be at the college coach level.

__________________________

imo
This topic is not about softball it is just about the social nature of certain people in our community.

I agree. Unfortunately I have seen my fair share of abusive coaches and abusive parents. Sometimes the comments within the fences are truly disturbing. Sometimes the comments outside the fences are even worse. I'm really not sure what the answer is for either.

For coaches it comes down to paid vs. volunteers. If the coach is paid, I believe they should be held to a higher standard. After all, if they are not fulfilling their side of the contract, they should be replaced, assuming a replacement is available. If the coach is a volunteer it becomes a little more complicated. Yes, volunteers can be removed if they are not acting appropriately. But sometimes finding a replacement isn't so easy. I have seen some local travel teams disband because parents were upset about the coach's behavior but no one else was willing to step in.

Ideally it would be great if adults could act like, well, adults...

 

[angispeds]

You are correct. This particular coach was male but this can be a person of any gender. To be clear this is not my daughter’s coach just a team we played and have played many times. I agree this won’t end until we as parents end it by saying no. We tried to choose wisely for college but only time will tell.


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