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Please tell me it will get better

Jan 5, 2018
249
43
PNW
Lots of great advice here ... and people with their head screwed on right!

Been there, done this, got the t-shirts ... as a parent, as a coach, and as the guy who took over as President trying to change it all.

First, THANK YOU for stepping up and coaching!

Second, 10u REC ... get your priorities straight! Not saying that pejoratively (OK, maybe) ... but the first thing you need to determine is what you want to get out of this. Do you want to coach this team just to get through the season? Is this something you want to keep doing? Do you want to keep coaching this team, or do you want to coach in a different scenario? There is no right answer, just determine what it is that you want. Then you can figure out how to get there.

Third, figure out how to get there! Set goals, for you, for the team, for each player. As others have said here, set micro-goals (“in this game I want ...”) and macro-goals (“by the end of the year I want to ...). Long term and short term. Involve the players in deciding their goals. Put this all in writing ... in a binder, on a white board, anywhere everybody can see it and see progress being made as you track it.

Fourth, you are looking at it wrong. You aren’t playing games. You are practicing in games. Keep practicing in games! :)
My DD was challenged by a long time DFP'r. Do you practice to play? or do you play to practice? Keep practicing in games!
 
Jan 8, 2019
322
63
When I first posted this I was mainly looking at it as failing as a parent to try and make a good decision on selecting a team for my DD.

This thread has morphed more into a coaching thread which is great. I do like coaching, but I realize I'm very green. I've learned tons on here and I'm pretty comfortable teaching the basic technical fundamentals at the 10u level. Still have some ways to go regarding pitching though. Learning all the rules is going to take some time and mentoring. DD has been to some good camps and some bad ones so we have had some exposure to what a great practice should look like and I try to emulate that. I write a practice plan before each practice and stick to it. I keep practices running on time. I've splurged a bit on equipment so I'm able to provide a decent practice setup.

There is so much more politics I'm realizing now. Our league is set up so that the coach of the winning team of the season gets to be the head coach of the All Star team. If there are enough girls that qualify, a 2nd team will form around the 2nd place team coach. The winning coach then gets to pick the 12 girls he wants on the all star team. Then the 2nd place coach gets to pick his 12. So if I want my DD to have a chance of being on the 1st All Star team I have to play nice and keep my mouth shut as it is pretty clear his team is going to win and he will be the coach for the 1st All Star team. The other option would be to skip All Stars and try to pick up mid season with a travel ball team, but that could be slim pickings finding a team that has a slot open.

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Ah! This explains a lot! Feeding his ego is an understatement! Your league needs some serious overhauling, but that has to be a community effort. Maybe get some advice from TMIB about his revolutionary days.

For now, focus on your DD, her team, and your sanity. You won't be able to fix much if anything before the end of the season, and there is only so much you can give of yourself, so I would choose giving that part of me to the kids.

Like I mentioned before, part of helping the girls will be keeping it fun (duh), but less obvious is that keeping it fun for them requires that it stays fun for you, too. The girls will at least partly be a reflection of you.

You'll figure out all-stars when the time comes. Assuming he's the coach, I can't imagine that it would be a bad thing to not be on the team. Playing on the B team can be a lot more fun. The team will progress very fast, and there is a lot less pressure.

Maybe start having some conversations with board members that may be supportive of a change?

For you and the team, maybe you could convince a local PC to come to one of yours actives and spend a half hour with potential pitchers?

I wish you the best in this cruddy situation, but it sounds like like you'll make it through it and do some good for your team! Good luck!

P.s., sorry for being al over the place! Lack of sleep plus being mad for you got me a bit scattered!
 
May 6, 2015
1,380
83
When I first posted this I was mainly looking at it as failing as a parent to try and make a good decision on selecting a team for my DD.

This thread has morphed more into a coaching thread which is great. I do like coaching, but I realize I'm very green. I've learned tons on here and I'm pretty comfortable teaching the basic technical fundamentals at the 10u level. Still have some ways to go regarding pitching though. Learning all the rules is going to take some time and mentoring. DD has been to some good camps and some bad ones so we have had some exposure to what a great practice should look like and I try to emulate that. I write a practice plan before each practice and stick to it. I keep practices running on time. I've splurged a bit on equipment so I'm able to provide a decent practice setup.

There is so much more politics I'm realizing now. Our league is set up so that the coach of the winning team of the season gets to be the head coach of the All Star team. If there are enough girls that qualify, a 2nd team will form around the 2nd place team coach. The winning coach then gets to pick the 12 girls he wants on the all star team. Then the 2nd place coach gets to pick his 12. So if I want my DD to have a chance of being on the 1st All Star team I have to play nice and keep my mouth shut as it is pretty clear his team is going to win and he will be the coach for the 1st All Star team. The other option would be to skip All Stars and try to pick up mid season with a travel ball team, but that could be slim pickings finding a team that has a slot open.

Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk
keep your head up, and try not to let it get too bloody or bruised from banging it against the wall ;)

curious question, what if DD of 2nd place coach is picked by HC of A team? do they really expect at rec level that 2nd place HC to coach athe team still, and potentially have to coach against DD?

-AS teams should be voted on by all the coaches and/or the players in the league/division, not just the HC selected to be AS coach. last two spots should be left for HC, so if there is a particular player (ie his DD), they want, they can have them. can do the same with multiple teams, A team gets players voted 1-10, HC gets his two picks, then B team gets next 10 players left plus 2 coaches picks.

-AS HC should be picked by board, not be just HC of 1st place team (places too much emphasis on stacking rosters, winning in house games, etc., rather than everyone cooperating to give the girls a great experience and developing them). Players should be playing to win the games, in rec, coaches should be coaching to develop the players. not saying anyone should tank, but up 20-0 in third, maybe put your 4th pitcher in the game, etc.

none of this is Rocket science, if my dumba$$ can figure it out in 10 minutes, anyone else should be able to get it in 5.

maybe at every board meeting, someone has to reiterate "we are here to do our best to provide ALL the players in our organization the best experience possible...no one will be erecting any statues/plaques/monuments to any of the coaches or board members, so our legacy is the collective experience these players take away". paint it all over the walls where you meet. maybe involuntarily tattoo it on the forearms of some of the "adults" running your org.
 
Apr 30, 2018
261
28
If the 2nd place coach's DD is picked for the 1st all star team he can either decline to coach the 2nd team (3rd place coach would then get the position) or he can decline his DD playing on the 1st team and she plays with him on the 2nd team.

Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk
 
May 6, 2015
1,380
83
If the 2nd place coach's DD is picked for the 1st all star team he can either decline to coach the 2nd team (3rd place coach would then get the position) or he can decline his DD playing on the 1st team and she plays with him on the 2nd team.

Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk
thanks for the info, but I guess my facetiousness with that remark did not come through. to me the whole idea of two AS teams is absurd.
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,595
83
Mundelein, IL
There is so much more politics I'm realizing now. Our league is set up so that the coach of the winning team of the season gets to be the head coach of the All Star team. If there are enough girls that qualify, a 2nd team will form around the 2nd place team coach. The winning coach then gets to pick the 12 girls he wants on the all star team. Then the 2nd place coach gets to pick his 12. So if I want my DD to have a chance of being on the 1st All Star team I have to play nice and keep my mouth shut as it is pretty clear his team is going to win and he will be the coach for the 1st All Star team. The other option would be to skip All Stars and try to pick up mid season with a travel ball team, but that could be slim pickings finding a team that has a slot open.

Sent from my SM-G975U1 using Tapatalk
Have you seen the movie All Stars? If not, you should. I think it's still available on Netflix. You will see people you recognize in it (personalities, not just the actors) and I think it will put all of this in perspective for you. It's a funny movie because everyone on DFP can attest it's all true. Every. Single. Bit.
 
May 29, 2015
1,749
113
thanks for the info, but I guess my facetiousness with that remark did not come through. to me the whole idea of two AS teams is absurd.
Especially if Team A is the #1-12 players and Team B is the #13-24 players.

Even my fantasy football league uses a snaking draft order!
 
May 16, 2016
384
43
If you are going to coach Rec ball, make sure you teach your kid to pitch. Then you will always have a pitcher on your team. If there were only 4 teams, and 5 average or better pitchers, you should have at least gotten one of the average pitchers, if not both of them.
 
Aug 13, 2018
52
18
If you are going to coach Rec ball, make sure you teach your kid to pitch. Then you will always have a pitcher on your team. If there were only 4 teams, and 5 average or better pitchers, you should have at least gotten one of the average pitchers, if not both of them.
There's some truth in here for anyone else going through a similar problem.

When I sort of took on a team last year at the last minute the first thing I did was throw my daughter into pitching lessons. She's now the third pitcher on a MUCH better team, but she's a pitcher. And her PC wants me to start bringing her 7y/o sister to lessons this summer to have a whole year of lessons under her belt before she needs to pitch in 10u..
 
Aug 29, 2011
2,441
63
NorCal
League president is the team with the two best pitchers. He likes to brag about how many strikeouts his daughter and the other ace pitcher get. I've lost some respect for him. Bragging about striking out cannon fodder isn't saying much. His DD has always been in travel ball, but the other pitcher is from a C borderline B level local travel team that didn't make this spring after the team had to split with half the girls moving up to 12u. This girl is big, throws over 40 mph (haven't had a chance to get a radar gun on her yet), and can locate her pitches.

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In this case sounds like he stacked his own team and is being a douche about it. Can't really do anything about his daughter but him assigning the 2nd best pitcher along with her is well...

But I can tell you it's sometime tough to balance out rec tems from year to year as a lot of it can rely on faulty evaluation reports from the prior year. Though that doesn't sound like what happened here. I mean how does a commissioner who may not be familiar with all the girls in the league split up the talent when 90% of last year's evaluations all say "great kid, above average player"?

Anyway, best of luck and yes it does get better.
 

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