Playing Time and Parent Problems

[CMMom1740]

I think that you should soften the wording to some degree. It shouldn't read like legalese, IMHO. "As you know, I am a volunteer coach giving of my time to help your daughters develop a love for the sport and to develop their skills as well. As such, I have high standards for parents and players. I request the following from each group: (then list them). If you have concerns, questions, or complaints about my coaching philosophy, please contact me outside of practice or game time. I'm happy to discuss anything with you provided it's brought to me at an appropriate time and with a respectful tone. Any abusive language directed toward me in person or in writing (e.g., on social media) will be dealt with at my discretion, which could include bench time for the player or dismissal. I respect all my players and families, and I request the same respect from you."

Something like that.

 

[chinamigarden]

There is a lot of gray area in the matter as a few past posters have said:
a.) It's not rec-ball but it's not travel ball either. I make it known up-front that I want this team to be competitive - if you work hard to be successful and become a better athlete and team player, wins should follow. If not, then we review, reflect, and rebuild.
b.) The "guest" players were ORIGINALLY intended to only be for 2 games. The girls on the team saw their abilities and TOLD ME they should stay - that is, until they realized it would cut into some of the girls' playing times. A "you can't have your cake and eat it to" situation.
c.) This league is meant to be competitive - to say my team is "non-competitive" is not very valid (except if you are describing attitudes, then that may be somewhat valid).
d.) Every team is different in how they play their lineups/rosters. Some have 10 and play 9 & a sub, some have 15 and bat/field all 15 at some point.



^ Very true, and this was made WELL-KNOWN to ALL players/parents when they signed up. I outright said to these parents, "She will probably struggle in her first year, but given time and focus/dedication to getting better, she will grow in time". The focus wasn't there, dedication to improving hasn't been there (otherwise focus would be instead of goofing around), and therefore she was an easy choice to use as a flex until she could prove she could listen and follow directions (as I would ask of any other player). I wasn't doing drills any 10U player couldn't handle, let alone 12U or 16U.

I've got a growing list of things I'm adjusting for next year - top of that list is coming up with a concrete philosophy for this team for what we want to accomplish as a team and as players, a "guest" player set of rules (if it ever becomes an issue again), and many more.

1 you play in a 16u league that uses 4 outfielders. There is no way this is anything other then straight up rec. You can talk about being competitive. But it's not.
2 you can't talk about the players commitment to the game and then weasel out on blame for the decision to keep these extra players by saying the girls on the team wanted them. You're the coach, you're the adult you make the roster not the players.
3 The parents over reaction to this "slight" should show you that it's not really about her sitting for a few innings. It's probably about her not being in the batting lineup most games.

 

[gdc03120]

1.) Not a requirement to use 4 - it's an option. Some use 3, some use 3 + a rover, some use 4. Just clarifying.
2.) Not putting blame on the girls whatsoever. If you read through every post that mentioned it, it was consistent.
3.) There was a VERY clear reason not to put her as a batter in the lineup (she was still used as a Flex with a DP hitting for her) relating to effort and focus in practices that was communicated clearly and repeatedly with the parents who made the overreaction. If they didn't like it and weren't willing to hear that out, there's apparently nothing I could do. When she wouldn't listen to her teammates OR I for guidance and refused to perform basic tasks as a batter we practice over and over again, I don't feel rewarding her with the chance to bat is appropriate until she can prove otherwise.

 

[Easton33]

1.) Not a requirement to use 4 - it's an option. Some use 3, some use 3 + a rover, some use 4. Just clarifying.
2.) Not putting blame on the girls whatsoever. If you read through every post that mentioned it, it was consistent.
3.) There was a VERY clear reason not to put her as a batter in the lineup (she was still used as a Flex with a DP hitting for her) relating to effort and focus in practices that was communicated clearly and repeatedly with the parents who made the overreaction. If they didn't like it and weren't willing to hear that out, there's apparently nothing I could do. When she wouldn't listen to her teammates OR I for guidance and refused to perform basic tasks as a batter we practice over and over again, I don't feel rewarding her with the chance to bat is appropriate until she can prove otherwise.

The point is, if it's an option to use a 4th it is rec ball. That's OK as far as I am concerned as long as you are trying to be competitive. Tournament ball players C,B,A, and "Gold" all started somewhere and most of them were in rec ball 1st. Not everyone has had the opportunity to coach a top level team and take them front rec to A. I do think you are wasting your time though, if they aren't competitive at 16u what's the point? Start again and start with a younger age group, 8u/10u/ maybe 12u and get them out of rec. You will be happier, more competitive, and the parents usually have more class. Just my .02.

 

[gdc03120]

Completely reasonable and sound idea(s) - however there's no leagues for 8U, 10U, etc. in this area without becoming a travel ball organization, and there's also not enough other commitment from area parents/players to get those younger levels going. I've looked into it before and most parents said "Little League was enough - we like our summers free." The only thing I can focus on is working on getting older players to come out for me next year (even if I have to expand to more outside communities that don't have a team in this league) and build up the young players who will stay faithful and return to me next year. Out of 10 girls right now, I expect a solid 6-7 to return with very high confidence. The other 3-4 will be ones who decide at that time. If I don't have enough, then I (sadly) won't have enough, and that'll be that. Nobody to blame (myself, players, community, etc) - just the way it is.

 

[Pizmaster]

Our rec league is somewhat competitive as these girls have been playing since age 6 or so. It allows for a lower cost (financially and time) and commitment. Once the girls reached 12UA, playing time was given to those who came to practice, were a good teammate, higher skills and in positions that needed to be filled.

This is all written out prior to the start of the season. It also was discussed with the girls who at this point want to win.

That's just my opinion.

 

[BB875]

I read most of the posts and here is my opinion as a coach. Coaches put in a TON of time and effort and deserve respect for that. If you don't like the coach because of any of a million reasons, then take your kid and leave. Yes, there are bad coaches. Find a good one and help out. As a parent if you call out the coach right after the game, you are an idiot! If you blow up a coach on FB, you are an idiot! In youth athletics there will be issues, sure. The respectful way is to ask for a meeting and calmly state you problem. Show the coach where you have personally worked with your kid and ask what you can do to make her better. If you haven't put in the time, then keep quiet. Make it so the coach has no choice but to play your kid. Put in the time and then see the results. Its pretty simple. And by the way, some of the best times I have ever had is hitting grounders or pop flies to my DDs. Spend the time with your DD & make it fun.

This coach needs to dump all the problems and recruit good families next year/season. Sure its REC ball, but that is NO excuse for bad behavior. I personally hate player/parent contracts. No one really follows them and the minute you don't, you've empowered bad parents to throw it in your face.

 

[slider75]

I apologize if I'm repeating something that was mentioned previously - I didn't read all of the posts before posting myself.

One of the major issues I see here is that this guy is coaching by himself. He needs some help. I have had to run many practices on my own, when AC's couldn't make it, and parents couldn't/wouldn't help. Some help is better than no help, experienced help is even better still. Parents are parents and will always be parents - no changing that, but with some help you could increase your chances of teaching these kids the game. Digging in the dirt (and other such tendencies) is understandable at 7 or 8 yrs old in a non-competitive league, but it should also begin to be addressed at that age. My $.02 - for what it's worth.

 

[gdc03120]

I actually had an assistant coach lined up to start the season - a former player of mine who was in her first year of NJCAA softball at a nearby college. She was all excited to help out and whatnot. Then by tryouts, she realized she was transferring colleges and wanted to work 2 jobs to save up enough money for an apartment - and decided not to tell me she was going to be able to help. By this point I was so deep into the season it wasn't worth trying to kill myself over finding an AC.

I've told myself that next year I need to have an AC to help me out, otherwise there may not be a team, because I can't keep adding on stress to myself when trying to run practices, losing precious time to cover multiple topics, etc. Hard search though when it's volunteer, and I'd prefer NOT having a player's parent doing it - they're bad enough from the sidelines going over my head to their kid and contradicting everything I'm saying (then they wonder why their kid strikes out after doing what their parent said TO do that I said NOT to do.) Such is life. =)

 

[quincy]

Parent ACS are fine, you just need to communicate with them what you want done and not just let them loose.

If you can not make a practice, write up a practice plan for them.

(DD played with 4 out fielders through 10U, I thought it was OK if the coach did not cheat with extra OF. I needed to re teach DD how to play SS after 1 fall ball year, the Rover had 2nd base which I did not like)