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Playing on a bad team

Sep 19, 2018
Is she having fun? Losing that much "could" kill morale, but if it is not, then no worries at this age. You say the coaches have fixed her throwing mechanics in just a couple of months? She gets to pitch a lot, and be a team leader?

If the coaching is good and they work all winter, you will see a dramatic change in these first years come spring. It can be is quite amazing.

The options you list above all seem no better, 3 teams that are just about as good (or bad depending) as your team and one that is an hour away at 10U??? If you are leaving because you don't win enough, none of those are a great idea unless they are playing even worse competition.

My dd joined a team 45 minutes away at 11U. I've got 4 kids so your situation might be different, but it is taxing on the family to say the least. Fortunately, she is really enjoying it.
Jul 28, 2016
Is she having fun and improving? In 10u its the only things that matter imo. Because imo there are 2 reasons girls quit in 14u, either they no longer enjoy it or they arent getting better and get left behind or both. And no I dont think winning/losing matters in 10u. My dd was on the same 8u-10u-12u team and lost way more than they won. Of the core 10-11 girls of that team, all but one is still playing (all now in 16u) and 6 are committed..4 D1s and 2 D2s..and 3 other girls added late in 12u still play and I think all 3 of them will play in college too..so again winning and losing in those young ages doesnt matter, unless winning at that age is the main goal..
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Mar 4, 2015
New England
I don't have much to add that hasn't been said, but one disadvantage to a 2-18 team is that you're likely playing significantly fewer games than teams that go .500. Average teams play maybe 5 games/weekend. The 2-18 team is probably playing closer to 3 per tournament.

I'll also note that 2-18 doesn't necessarily mean you're bad. Most teams essentially choose their W-L record based on the tournaments they enter, although really good teams and really bad teams have to go to great lengths to adjust their wins/losses.
Feb 3, 2016
"So at 10-U is the winning and losing that important? Is it worth staying on a bad team if the competition is good and your DD is improving and excelling? At this age, is it better to have your DD getting #1 mound time In a lot of games vs good competition or being a #2 behind a coach’s daughter somewhere else on a better team that plays less games. Should the improvement curve for 9 year olds coming from coach pitch be greater than 10 year olds over the winter?"

I think the competitiveness of the player is a big factor here.

You've expressed some dismay for the losses but how's you DD taking it?

Is her performance enough to satisfy her?

I'd want my DD to be around other kids dedicated to getting better period. You already know the girls on the team that can't play at a level necessary to win.

Are they putting the work in? Are they at least trying or just showing up on Sunday?

I'd consider playing up or get with other players and parents on the team and decide on how you need to move forward. You have the control as you write the check, so you should get what you pay for.

Don't be afraid to embrace a culture of winning as that's a good thing. Sometimes that means leaving great kids and parents behind.

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Mar 28, 2020
At the end of the day.....what is best for your daughter mentally???? Bottom-line very few of these kids are going to remember the wins and loses they remember the friendships and hanging with their parents.......Here is my story -- Maybe this story and 2 bucks you can get you a cheap cup of coffee.....

My DD has been on really good teams.....on those teams she was the 12th man. She wanted to stop playing and move to basketball. Her best friend who was getting recruited by every super elite team in the area told her she would only go to a team my DD was on.

I told my DD's best friend's father they needed to separate as I was taking my daughter to a team where she could play and have fun. I wasn't worried about winning. Well the best friend followed my DD to the "fun" team.

The team were girls who were turning 11 late in the year playing at 12U B level during the summer then went to a competitive rec league for the fall. They got rocked every game in the summer....the parents were complaining....... But the girls loved each other. They would text each other and set up work outs without the coaches.....they really enjoyed being together....One girl told her parents, who were complaining, she was having fun and she knew she was getting better......she was right we played a team that beat us 25 to 4 in the summer and when we played them in the fall we lost 6 to 5......out of no where the girls were competitive......my daughter moved to catcher for the 1st time in her life and was voted MVP in two tournaments and in the fall league she was voted all-star .........

My DD was the last batter on the super bottom of the line up on the competitive teams and now she is the lead off ...... She is being recruited to these super elite team, but she has told me over and over-- She loves her team and is ok if they are not the best team....But she will also tell you ..... Next summer they will beat the elite team she was on ...... period

Oh and her best friend......that girl is special.....really really special....baring injury she will go to a major contender in college.....she has become a leader

Today my DD couldn't image not playing softball when just a year ago she was done with it....... You have to do what is best for your child and put your feeling behind you .... If that team had put your daughter on "BEAST MODE" then that is where she needs to be

my opinion and 2 bucks could get you a cup of 7 eleven coffee......
Jun 11, 2013
One benefit to bad fielding is that you get to pitch more. Your innings are 5-6 outs long. If DD is having fun it's not a big problem assuming you are playing decent competition. As she gets older it matters a lot more.
Apr 6, 2017
I would want a competitive team she can grow on. 2 wins sounds
not fun in my opinion. I'd be talking to other coaches.
Aug 8, 2016
My daughter was on a bad team her first year of 10u, and a good team her second year. My experience in the dugout was that the kids barely knew if they were winning or losing, though I got asked if they were winning a lot more on that better team.

The observation that you get more games/at-bats on the better team is very spot on.
Aug 14, 2019
My DD’s 10-U club team this fall was really bad. The team is young, with only 4 girls 2nd years (including my DD), and there are 2-3 girls clearly over their heads.

Despite the team being bad, my daughter has blossomed this fall. She went from being a #3 pitcher on her old team in the summer to a #1 pitcher, and almost overnight she began to pitch mechanically better, throw harder, and become more accurate in games. She’s gotten a lot of mound time, and has learned to do the little things: fix a messed up mound, direct the defense on a bunt, ask for a new ball if one is wet. Despite the team results, she’s pitched well, including giving up only 2 earned runs vs the best team in the state.

Her hitting still needs work, but has gotten to the point where she is hitting middle of the road pitching well and has started hitting clean-up.

The team has played a lot of games including against many of the best teams in the state and region.

My wife is frustrated with the terrible defense, lack of hitting, and losing. She thinks we’re paying a lot of money for this level of play.
I see a very young team that is making some strides that should get bigger and hopefully better this winter.

The team has two pitchers that are good enough for them to be competitive if the defense and hitting get better over the winter.
The team is 2–18, but has had some close games against some good teams. Starting the #4 pitcher, only to bring my DD into the game in the 1st inning after a bunch of runs were scored and then have her pitch the rest of the game likely cost them 2 wins or ties.

So at 10-U is the winning and losing that important? Is it worth staying on a bad team if the competition is good and your DD is improving and excelling? At this age, is it better to have your DD getting #1 mound time In a lot of games vs good competition or being a #2 behind a coach’s daughter somewhere else on a better team that plays less games. Should the improvement curve for 9 year olds coming from coach pitch be greater than 10 year olds over the winter?

My biggest worry would be if the #2 pitcher (who is also one of the better hitters) leaves, as then I think the burden would be just too heavy.
Better to be a big fish in a small pond this age.
Jan 29, 2019
Clemmons, NC
A lot of great opinions on this thread and really comes down to what is best for DD and family (mom may be getting frustrated but sounds like daughter is getting better). Based on the age of the team there a few things to consider for TODAY:

1 - OP DD is getting a lot of mound time = getting better
2 - OP DD is now batting lead off. Lead off means more at bats = getting better
3 - Age of team sound like a change in teams next year is inevitable.

I know a lot may not agree with my next statement, but one of the best things we did for our DD was get her on an age appropriate team. DD is an 08 and has played up every season until current team. We were lucky enough to try out and make an 08 team that is arguably the best 12U team in our state. We now chase other good teams in other states and the competition is fantastic. DD is getting better and the coaching staff does a great job with the girls. Our girls win a lot of local tournaments and finish 1st or somewhere around top 3 or so when we chase tournaments/teams. DD hits 7 or so where she used to hit 4 and it's kicked up her competitive juices!

At the end of the day, it's not about winning and losing, it's about getting better and feeding the competitive spirit. Good luck!

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