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SESwildfire

Mar 7, 2016
242
28
If you have coached any amount of time I am sure each of you have been through players leaving (unless you are extremely fortunate). This past Friday I was relaxing at home on one of those rare nights where nothing was going on in my household. Talking to an old college buddy on the phone about upcoming hunting plans. Had a call come in from one of my players mothers "you are not going to ****ing believe this" she shouts into the phone... no sooner than I had a chance to reply to her I hear a knock on my door. I live clear out in the sticks in rural Kansas, people knocking on my door is like twice a decade occurrence... I tell the mom ill call her back and head to the door. Standing there holding all of our team gear is one of the longest tenured players on my teams father. They are choosing to leave to go to our biggest rival..... It was pry one of the coldest talks I have had in a long time. (THE PLAYER DID NOT COME WITH HIM WHICH SAYS A LOT) You see not only have I invested countless hours teaching this player, I have jumped through hoops to help her family out even allowing their family to stay with my relatives to help cut costs for them when we travel. Our starting Shortstop, most talented OF, and a heck of a pitcher, someone I spent the past 5 years and hundreds of games coaching. All I could do was wish them well, and tell them we will see them come summer. Their families issue over fall ball was she didnt see the mound time she wanted... for many reasons most of them being her talents were needed elsewhere. The team she is headed to is a great team, State champions, but they already had a 6 pitcher deep rotation her making the 7th. I didnt tell her family this but the chance of her seeing mound time is lower than it ever was on my team. I sure hope they do as much for her family as we did.

Fortunately I picked up a new player starting in fall that was every bit as talented middle infielder, better arm, and a cannon pitching so roster wise we were good just hate to watch a player leave when you have so much time invested.
 
U

uncdrew

Oct 4, 2018
4,613
113
They might be coming right back.

Grass is always greener and (some) coaches will tell you anything to get you to join their team.

When a team offers our DD a spot and says she'll pitch a lot, we go watch several games to see how good their pitchers are and assess for ourselves how much mound time we think she'll truly get.
 
J

justanotherguy

Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
I think wishing them well is all you can do. My DD left our last team in early summer this past year. Offensively it was a blow. However, we did our best to leave on very solid terms. That coach has still done more for my DDs college recruiting than her current coach has. He still sends emails to coaches and I can't thank him enough. Those are relationships that transcend teams. Hopefully you've built that kind of relationship.
 
Rolling Hard

Rolling Hard

Apr 20, 2018
4,609
113
SoCal
You should come to so cal where parents (kids) change teams more often than some change their underwear. Some leave on good terms others not so much. There are so many teams to choose from. Here is a screen shot of the first page from heybucket 12u.
That's just the first page of 74.
 
Powerof9

Powerof9

Oct 2, 2018
205
43
Georgia
From what you have said, you have been a great coach to this girl and her family! The player will appreciate your efforts for the rest of her life. Some people are short sighted and when you give them time, they will thank you. Just wish them the best is be a great person and example to them and your current girls. We learn many more lessons through softball about life than softball.
 
YOCOACH

YOCOACH

Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
I've said many times that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence because it's usually fed with bull sh!t. I invest as much time with every player I have as they will allow. Some will take more; others want less. Either way is fine with me.
I've had many players leave my teams throughout the years. The funny thing is, most try and come back. Unfortunately for them, as soon as one leaves, I find another to replace them. I've had players try to come back 2-3 years in a row but since I'm loyal to the players that remain loyal to me, few have had the opportunity to make it.
 
grcsftbll

grcsftbll

Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
It's the same in GA as in CA apparently. There is no roster stability at all, very little loyalty (which sure makes you love and appreciate the ones who are loyal). This was a huge factor in how we chose DD's new team for this fall (her team from the past 2 years dissolved). They had 9 returning players, 5 or 6 of them who have played together since rec ball. That's almost impossible to find anymore, and it makes a big difference in the team chemistry. There are players here who change not just every year but every season. Or even multiple times per season. No clue what they're looking for or where they think they'll find it.
 
_MIA_

_MIA_

Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
DD's team (first year 12U) just had their first major attrition from the roster in the 2+ years she has been there. Lost starting F2, F5 and one of their 2 pitchers. In two of the cases (F5 and pitcher) the girls had played up and decided to go play at their age level. Don't necessarily agree with it because the girls were holding their own but I can understand it (there are various legitimate reasons for leaving this particular team and I think one of them is leaving because of one of these...). In third case, while the girl is good, her father thinks she is better than she is and told the coaches that the team was holding her back..whatever that means.

The thing is I am not sure in any of the cases, if it was left up to the kids, they would have left.
 
Rick M

Rick M

Jul 14, 2018
982
93
SESwildfire said:
Fortunately I picked up a new player starting in fall that was every bit as talented middle infielder, better arm, and a cannon pitching so roster wise we were good just hate to watch a player leave when you have so much time invested.
Click to expand...

Maybe they saw the new player as a threat to their DD's playing time and thought they had to leave?

In any case, it sounds like you're a coach who goes above and beyond, and having players leave your team and tell others about their experience with you as a coach will only help you in the long run. Faced with a difficult and potentially explosive situation (parent shows up at your door), you handled it with class.
 
U

uncdrew

Oct 4, 2018
4,613
113
grcsftbll said:
It's the same in GA as in CA apparently. There is no roster stability at all, very little loyalty (which sure makes you love and appreciate the ones who are loyal). This was a huge factor in how we chose DD's new team for this fall (her team from the past 2 years dissolved). They had 9 returning players, 5 or 6 of them who have played together since rec ball. That's almost impossible to find anymore, and it makes a big difference in the team chemistry. There are players here who change not just every year but every season. Or even multiple times per season. No clue what they're looking for or where they think they'll find it.
Click to expand...

I do appreciate the chemistry but I'd prefer chemistry + skill. Great chemistry makes for fun, which I love for the girls. In and of it self it doesn't make for good softball. :p
 
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