Boys don't play for social reasons? Let me see... on Friday nights in Texas, football teams of more than 100 boys are common, even though only about 20 to 30 play.
Parents
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Boys don't play for social reasons? Let me see... on Friday nights in Texas, football teams of more than 100 boys are common, even though only about 20 to 30 play.
Nope. I never said that. I agreed with Pattar that game itself was enough for me to want to play. I would have played the game anytime, anywhere with anyone given the chance.
If I insinuated that boys don't need social interaction then I did a poor job of communicating my thoughts. I understand that everyone is an individual and generalities don't always apply. But the fact is, boys and girls ARE different. Their needs and how they interact socially are different.
As parents (maybe fathers especially), when making decisions for our dd's, we need to separate from what we would have needed; and recognize what they need.
- Jun 12, 2015
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I agree 100%, but it doesn't necessarily have to do with gender. We have to be willing to accept their individual personalities and be okay with what they want to do, which may or may not line up with traditional differences in gender.
I agree they interact socially different...but different needs? This I have to hear. Please explain.
I had two DDs who played sports in college. Until after college, they never played any organized sport...softball, tennis, basketball, track or soccer...to hang out with their friends. They grew up in a large metro area, so the rec teams were composed of kids from all over the place. Most of the kids on their t-ball teams were strangers. Their TB teams were composed of kids from all over the metro. The HS had 4000 kids, so only talented kids made the teams.
My college athlete DDs had friends separate and apart from the teams. They treated their teammates with respect. They liked most of them. But BFFs? Never. Their "real" friends (people they went to the movies with and had sleep overs) were not on their teams...and not even particularly athletic.
My non-college athlete DD did play a sport in high school with her BFF....but, she was very mercenary about the whole thing. She played for the sole reason of earning a varsity letter. She did not play to hang out with her BFF.
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Wow. Things have changed.
Head coach is leaving. New head coach named. That opens things up to the Cancer Family to continue with this team, I suppose.
My DD is being asked to be on the team. They say they need her and she's on the team -- tryouts are next week.
So, tell them about these bad parents? I certainly never want to see them again, and I know several of the other parents don't either. Probably also the girls they frightened throughout the year don't either.
Head coach is leaving. New head coach named. That opens things up to the Cancer Family to continue with this team, I suppose.
My DD is being asked to be on the team. They say they need her and she's on the team -- tryouts are next week.
So, tell them about these bad parents? I certainly never want to see them again, and I know several of the other parents don't either. Probably also the girls they frightened throughout the year don't either.
- Apr 16, 2013
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Ahhh, I see you're a member of the a**hole club too? Member here since around '91. Nice to meet a fellow a**hole.
- Apr 16, 2013
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Personally, I'd simply tell the coach about their behavior and that if they really want your DD on the team, this family can not be a part of it. Do it nicely and not treated as a threat, simply as a fact.
It's very tempting.
I don't want to give ultimatums, and I don't like drama at all. But these parents are a cancer and I know other parents don't want them on the team. I just don't want to come off as a high-maintenance or high-drama parent for bringing this up.
But seems the new coaches should know. And hearing from the old coach (assistant) seems fine.
- Apr 16, 2013
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If it affects you and your DD, then it shouldn't be seen as bad. You don't want to be on a team where this family is. Plain and simple.
Deep down, I do believe that there are differences in the social needs of boys and girls, I am an EE by schooling and software developer by trade., I am not a psychologist. so maybe you are correct, the need is the same just how the need is met and the ensuing social interactions / actions can be is vastly different.
Between us we have 6 DD, so statistically not a large enough sample size to come to any real answers.
My oldest is in High school, then Middle school, and my third is entering 5th grade this year. My youngest (a boy) is entering 2nd grade. I am a little behind you so there is still a lot for me to experience, learn and unfortunately mistakes to be made.
But my experience (so far) is a little different. My first two do Musical Theater. The oldest has changed theater groups because there was a show she really wanted to do. She knew no one in the new group. My second would not consider doing that. No way, no how. She would need a friend (not just an acquaintance) to go with her to a new group. My 3rd (who plays softball), has been asked to play on other teams and it is a flat out "No Way!" She also needs a friend, not just someone she knows.
My middle 2 girls are shy, so it is probably not fair of me to extrapolate my daughters decisions, needs, fears, or what ever else is going through their heads, to how other girls think and make decisions. But at the same time, your DD are not run of the mill softball players. Correct me if I am wrong (I do get some of the Dads and DD confused), one of your DD's didn't just play college ball. She played and excelled at the highest level of the game.
I say thing with the utmost respect, because when you talk about what it takes to really succeed, I know you are taking from experience. and I know that my 10 yo does not have it in her (at this age) to work like that. Obviously your dd's skill is incredible, but I am guessing that also her drive, grit, and determination are greater than your ordinary girl playing travel softball.
So using her as a barometer might be just as off as me using my shy dd's as a barometer.
