I answered within the context of the quote. For the last few lines I'll just put here.ASM- I've read and reread this thread now. just an observation and questions for you to consider for yourself.
IF I read correctly your traveling quit a bit to play on the tourney only team. When/Where does she practice? Or are you traveling this far for practice as well?
Its 2.5 hours away and in a place where we have lots of family and friends. The arrangement is we were to go up there maybe 1-2xx a month to practice with the team if we werent playing. Essentially she plays games and thats it. her step-father is attempting to build a 14U team with his daughter so she is practicing 1-3 times a week depending on what she has going on. I felt this was a little excessive and could very well be the problem so I working with her mother and step-father on that.
The reason I ask is this. Your DD is 11. The one thing I've noticed in my time coaching is those 10,11,12,13,14 yo's....generally are very social creatures. I've seen a number of girls choose a "lower" level of play even though they could play up in age or in level (A vs B etc). Their reasoning...they wanted to play with their friends/classmates. The social side of the game may be a part that your DD is missing and contributing to her. This is true of half of my current team.
I have kicked that around a 100 times. I personally dont care about what ever letter is at the end of her age group because at this age it should be about fun and socializing. She is definitely a social butterfly and has no issues making friends. After one practice with the out of town team she's already going back and forth with group texts with the girls etc. In fact I have proposed that same thing to her with the reasoning being - its more about the social part (and learning the game)
As far as flip flopping...i've seen a number of girls who's "favorite" thing is the thing right in front of them...until they realize the "other" thing is over there and they like that one too. It sounds to me like your DD is right in the "normal" for this age. Very few girls at 11 have specialized or picked one sport...
at 10 we kept our DD involved in Soccer, swimming, softball, guitar. She still does all of those now but has dropped soccer and swimming has become secondary to softball. She's 13 now. Keep the options open and variety and she'll sort out what she wants.
Shes already talking about wanting to play volleyball and track next year as a 7th grader. She definitely understands that something is going to have to drop because thats way to much of a full plate for anyone let alone a 11/12 year old. She does alot of the "whats in front of me" thing so I know this is definitely normal but over the past month or so it seems to have gotten worse. Again just to rehash a recent situation. She doesnt want to play in the tournament this weekend because she wants to go the HS football game on Friday When she realized we would have to alter that plan she said no Im staying but presented with the option of doing both she was all about it. But just one week ago she was yelling about never playing again. (HUGH SIGH)
As my DD's coach two three we talk about every 6 months is. 1) I don't have to be your coach...and if it's right for you to go to another team or you want a different experience...my identity is not tied up in being your coach and you have my permission to tell me so and we'll make those changes for you. 2) Is softball something you want to continue doing and put time into. What are your goals and what do YOU think it's going to take to accomplish those? 3) Softball does not define you...and if you play or don't play your mother and I love you no matter what and will support your goals/dreams/desires to the best of our ability.
By leaving the power of the decision in her hands she is in control...when she knows she has a choice she rarely chooses the one we wouldn't choose for her..just knowing she has the option and it's her decision takes a lot of pressure off of DD.
Sounds like you're doing a good job. Lover her no matter what and enjoy this time with her....it goes by quick.
Thank you. and thats my biggest fear is in 7 years from shes definitely not going to want anything to do with Old Dad ha. Im definitely enjoying the ride as watching her just run and play with her friends is nothing short of amazing.