Parent has a problem with me as coach (long)

[erniekru]

A lot of this is spot on and I am considering just what you said, and no she is not a star player in fact she has sat more than anyone on the team due to performance. HC really has a hard time being the bad guy (I'm speculating), and I think AC is potentially playing both sides or easily swayed.

I talked to my daughter and she thinks I wasn't mean at all, also she doesn't want to stay if this kid stays.

My plan is to inform HC that this will be her last chance or we are gone.

This is a total dumpster fire.. You've been given the same advice over and over about leaving STAT... Part of the reason for leaving is it will give YOU time to reflect and improve as a coach. Remember, coaching the players is only part (sometimes small) of the gig.

Also, really reflect on what the role of an AC is... If you don't have the backing 100% of the HC (no if's and's or but's) then you've really got to analyze your position and how you got there..

 

[CoachKevin]

This is a total dumpster fire.. You've been given the same advice over and over about leaving STAT... Part of the reason for leaving is it will give YOU time to reflect and improve as a coach. Remember, coaching the players is only part (sometimes small) of the gig.

Also, really reflect on what the role of an AC is... If you don't have the backing 100% of the HC (no if's and's or but's) then you've really got to analyze your position and how you got there..

While I agree the HC should back his AC's... it really goes the other way, the AC's have to back the HC. If you don't agree with what the HC is doing, say your piece and then either go with what the HC does, or leave simple as that. Staying where the Coaches are not in agreement is a set up for total failure.

In my own experience (our HC let's me do whatever for the most part), if I disagree with what the HC is teaching/doing, I'll give my argument and see what he thinks. If he still isn't swayed, then as the AC I try and teach what he wants.

 

[Filterbing]

Thought I'd give a final update on the situation, HC and other AC#1 heard from a few parents (5 out of 13 kids) that they didn't like my coaching (specifics were lacking) and they asked me to step down the week after thanks giving. I did, on the condition that problem dad would not be involved with coaching or anything in my place.

I believe this dad influenced these parents to complain about me. It was pretty obvious since they are in a click and it was same issues he had about me after they were lazy and unmotivated on a Sunday. No parent actually came to me about these "issues", there was no team meeting to discuss it, and these issues were not brought up until 2 months after the fact. They brought it to HC on the very next practice (I didn't attend due to pitching lessons) after problem dad and I had the shouting match. I was never mean nor swore at them or anything. I equate it to getting a teacher fired because students complaining that the class is too hard because they actually had to do work.

Additional fun is that 4 of the 5 complaint families played under another dad on the team before joining this team. This dad did replace me as AC#2. I found out from HC he and/or his wife were in the complaint camp as well. Interesting since he had complimented me several times for fixing his daughter's swing. He and his wife are also key players in said click.

Problem dad's tik-tok daughter gave my daughter the cold shoulder for the last month or so and it only took a couple weeks until problem dad got involved with practice and so we left the team right before Christmas.

We are now part of one the best orgs around and I could not care less about whether or not I coach again. I did extend an offer to help if our new HC needs it, but I don't want a title.

 

[djcarter1966]

Thx for update and hope everything works out sounds OK so far. With hindsight seems kinda obvious HC got with this other person who is now AC#2 and brought over 5 families, that was always going to be an issue since you basically merged teams. Anyway I think you are definetly on right track just leaving those issues behind you and moving on just press forward and watch from the stands, like you said if they need some help shagging balls you are there but otherwise a break for you is probably good for now too, although I now it is super hard, but it is easier if she is getting quality coaching from current team.

 

[Rick M]

Thanks for sharing Filterbing, we've all had issues with Daddyball and cliques and it's great that you had the fortitude to make a change. Hope your DD has a great spring!

 

[uncdrew]

Glad you and DD moved on. Sounds much healthier for you both.

As I'm sure I mentioned in this thread and elsewhere, I had one dad who took out his daughter's poor skills on me and rallied other parents to go against me.

A year later, they've been kicked off of three teams and everyone knows it and talks about them. A few came to me and applauded/thanked me for keeping my cool and letting it all play out without making a scene. Sounds like you're on a similar path.