Parent drama.....

[NJgators14uSPARK]

I don't know; I have mixed feelings. As a parent, I would say that it depends on what time of year you're talking about. If they're doing this in the middle of the season, that's one thing. But as we're approaching the end of summer and tryouts for the 2019-2020 year, your contract with them is about to be up and some may be unhappy and looking for a change. In which case you won't have to worry about them next season, so you know, whatever. I mean, people are allowed to be unhappy. Has the parent's child gotten the playing time or played the position promised when undertaking the contract to join your team? Has benching of players for errors been equitable? Or is it simply wanting to move up the ladder (in their perception) to a better team?

Just think about what they could be displeased about. Are you picking up non-rostered players and playing them more than rostered players who have paid full fare? Because that really tends to tick parents off (trust me on this).

If you want to be strict about it, call the parent personally and ask what's up. Have a conversation and listen. If you feel they are stirring things up purposefully, then go ahead and tell them now that they should be looking around for next season. But I don't think I'd cut someone in mid-July when the season's over at the end of the month unless it's something really egregious.

Let's think about this for a second. The parent is unhappy with playing time or their daughter's performance. That unhappiness finds it way to car rides and dinners with their children present and listening. At what point do the parents hold themselves accountable for the lack of growth in their child. At some point no matter what the coach says that child is tuning it out. Of course the new coaches where they are moving to are better, because they are feeding them everything they want to hear. Then they go through a season and the child's performance is below average and the cycle continues again. Clear expectations up front is the key. This way the coach can say we have talked about this on numerous occasions and the expectations for parents has been clearly defined. Then the coach can say, Unfortunately we are going to have to move in a different direction.

 

[playball4]

Let's think about this for a second. The parent is unhappy with playing time or their daughter's performance. That unhappiness finds it way to car rides and dinners with their children present and listening. At what point do the parents hold themselves accountable for the lack of growth in their child. At some point no matter what the coach says that child is tuning it out. Of course the new coaches where they are moving to are better, because they are feeding them everything they want to hear. Then they go through a season and the child's performance is below average and the cycle continues again. Clear expectations up front is the key. This way the coach can say we have talked about this on numerous occasions and the expectations for parents has been clearly defined. Then the coach can say, Unfortunately we are going to have to move in a different direction.

I absolutely agree. She may be a sweet and funny kid now, but she can’t escape overhearing mom bash the coach, other teammates, other parents, etc. I have seen this play out over several years for a few girls my DD started playing with at 12U, and those girls’ attitudes towards the game and others changed as well.

 

[NJgators14uSPARK]

Every

I absolutely agree. She may be a sweet and funny kid now, but she can’t escape overhearing mom bash the coach, other teammates, other parents, etc. I have seen this play out over several years for a few girls my DD started playing with at 12U, and those girls’ attitudes towards the game and others changed as well.

And a coach can tell. I can feel it. I can watch it during reps. I repeat myself over and over and there is no change or attempt to change. I tell parents regardless of the coach, the coach always knows this is going on. I also talked to my players to ask questions al the time, let's get better together. I let them know that I will have 3-10 reasons why I make a decision. All my decisions are to benefit the team and put individuals in a position to be successful.

 

[Westwind]

The best and smartest coach either of my kids ever had was a 10-12u coach. (Old guy. Many parents wouldn’t consider his team because he was not a slick talker with a crew cut.)

One of the many things he said that I will never forget is that they could always tell when the parents of a player began talking unfavorably about the coaches.

He said that at that point, the player quits getting better.

Parents don’t realize that the player, their kid, is the one who pays for the parent opening their yaps.

 

[testandor]

Clear expectations up front is the key.

Yes, sir! Up front, before they join the team, and all along the way. And while contracts may work for some, I always found that face to face, often expressed expectations worked the best. Same when you have to let them go. No matter how bad, do it in person, make it as easy as possible for them, and then know that you've lightened your load.

 

[bmakj]

generally agree, but this past spring, especially as season wore on, we had to talk to DD that she had to not let coaches way of handling her affect her. It was them, not her (daddy ball and granddaddy ball in play here). sometimes you have to tell (or in DDs case, confirm their independent conclusion) that coach is making bad decisions (and same ones repeatedly).

 

[Ksphenom]

In what instances have you asked a parent/kid to leave your team due to drama?

Just heard about a guy that got kicked off a team right after National's. Pushed the HC on the field during the game, proceeded to get tossed by the Umpire in the stands and was instructed by the UIC to leave the facility.
Cops were called when he was sitting in his car outside the outfield fence.

Ended up knocking on random homeowner's door and set up chair in said yard drinking beer on private property and watching the reminder of the game. He was not asked back.

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