Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Register Log in

Over Recruiting in College

Apr 20, 2018
1,139
83
SoCal
This is pretty naive. A college coach doesn't want to get to know the parents unless you are a distraction. Then they just won't recruit your DD. You may never one conversation with the college coach the entire 4 years.
It may be naive but I agree with spleen. Why wouldnt a coach want to get to know a parent? "Know" as we should talk every day -NO. But College Coaches should not be some kind of unapproachable god. The best coaches get to know their players and have relationships with their players. I respect all and I will not coward down to any person. If a coach thinks he or she is almighty and I am unworthy of communication with them I would find another school.
 
Jul 16, 2013
3,196
83
Pennsylvania
When you are reviewing potential schools take a look at their rosters for the last 4 or 5 years. How many players do they have from each class? How many from each class return for the following year? How many actually make it to their senior year?

DD plays for a D3. They had 2 seniors last year and will have 3 this year. This number has been consistent for the last five years at this program.
 
Oct 2, 2011
3,486
113
Florida
It may be naive but I agree with spleen. Why wouldnt a coach want to get to know a parent? "Know" as we should talk every day -NO. But College Coaches should not be some kind of unapproachable god. The best coaches get to know their players and have relationships with their players. I respect all and I will not coward down to any person. If a coach thinks he or she is almighty and I am unworthy of communication with them I would find another school.
The coach already has to deal with managing somewhere between 25-40+ people in the program - they don't need or want to have to manage another 40-60 parents on top of that. It is not that you don't say hello, or can't have a conversation, nor should it be a blocked door if there is a real issue, and you should absolutely do the due diligence on the coach. The majority are not unapproachable and it is not like there will not be interactions but it very unlikely to be any sort of deep relationship with you.

And honestly, the coaches are not going to see all that much of you once DD is on campus - you won't be there for practices and on game days you will be lucky if your DD gets a chance to say hello to you between doubleheaders. Coach certainly doesn't have time for much interaction that is not about the game itself. Coaches really don't have much time for you when you are there.

It just isn't about you. The real relationship is between your DD and the coaching staff. They are interested in who your DD is hopefully as both a player and a person. They are going to communicate almost exclusively to her and she may communicate things to you. If you do get an email from the coach it is probably about fundraising... and you definitely don't want to get a direct unsolicited call from the coach.

While DD is still just headed to college, I have spent quite a bit of time chatting to the coaching staff and talking to current players etc. But it isn't what I would call deep - that is DD's role to play. Mostly when I see DD's coach I say hello, make some fairly idle small talk and that is about as deep as it really gets before her and my DD start to talk and then I am in the background.

When we did a tours of campuses I literally walked three steps behind the host coach or current player while DD chatted away. I LOVE to talk...it was a real challenge for me to just shut up and let my DD talk away. I got involved in discussions about money and financial aid because that is a parent's concern and part.

As recruiting coordinator for our org I have had long conversations with lots of coaches and almost a working like relationship with many, but my end goal is to match up and hand that conversation into the hand of the player that has an interest in their program.

Parent issues can be the difference between being recruited and not being recruited by the vast majority of schools. As one coach told me "Every girl I recruit will have some sort of problem during the time she is here - I don't need to be bringing known issues into the program."
 
Apr 20, 2018
1,139
83
SoCal
"I have spent quite a bit of time chatting to the coaching staff and talking to current players etc. But it isn't what I would call deep - that is DD's role to play. Mostly when I see DD's coach I say hello, make some fairly idle small talk and that is about as deep as it really gets before her and my DD start to talk and then I am in the background. "

I am ok with that. Just can't flat ignore me.
 
Feb 17, 2014
529
28
This is pretty naive. A college coach doesn't want to get to know the parents unless you are a distraction. Then they just won't recruit your DD. You may never one conversation with the college coach the entire 4 years.
It is not naive at all.

This is something that I hear a lot and in my experience it is 100% not true. Every coach that was serious about recruiting my DD approached me and talked to me on many occasions. In 2 of those cases I knew their level of interest in my DD changed because the way they treated me.

My experience is limited to 6-7 schools. There were schools where I never talked to the coach but those schools weren't seriously recruiting my DD either. I'm sure it is like everything else, different based on the coach.

I still have good relationships with 2 of the coaches and she committed some where else. DD's team played round robins at their schools after she committed and they still talked to me.
 
Feb 15, 2016
268
18
It is not naive at all.

This is something that I hear a lot and in my experience it is 100% not true. Every coach that was serious about recruiting my DD approached me and talked to me on many occasions. In 2 of those cases I knew their level of interest in my DD changed because the way they treated me.

My experience is limited to 6-7 schools. There were schools where I never talked to the coach but those schools weren't seriously recruiting my DD either. I'm sure it is like everything else, different based on the coach.

I still have good relationships with 2 of the coaches and she committed some where else. DD's team played round robins at their schools after she committed and they still talked to me.
I have seen coaches who almost ignore the parents and coaches who are very friendly with the parents. I have seen it at all levels. A lot of it probably just has to do with personality.
 
Top