Note to College Freshman Parents

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Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
I saw this on FB.

This just in. One of our freshman parents just sent his insightful bit of advice for the next class
Don’t tag me. But I can say my kid started out the season sitting the bench. I drove home from a tournament and cried the entire way home but I never let her see me. I showed up even if she was sitting the bench, just to see her for 5 minutes after the game just so she knew I was still there and I still believed in her.
You know what she ended up with more playing time by the end of the season than any other freshman and had a chance to start every game in the championship. She pushed through and worked till she could no more on the field and in the classroom and he saw it and recognized it because even when she wasn’t on the bench she was the loudest Cheerleader in the dugout.
I’ve watched 2 of her roommates leave this year and parents no longer speak when she earned her spot. But that’s life not everyone is always going to celebrate your success. Next year she will have to compete all over again.
Advice I would give to freshman parents!!
1. It will be the hardest thing your child has ever done.
2. Not being involved or rescuing as a parent will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.
3. there are days your child will be broken physically and mentally, your job is to listen and provide encouragement.
4. Your child is no longer in high school as the super star or on a traveling team you are paying for, they are basically an employee of the program with a job to do.
5. If your kid is on the bench it is their job to outwork and outperform to earn a spot.
6. There will be days and games when they are off, don’t place blame on coaches and teammates encourage and listen.
7. Do not feed into the negativity of other parents and players, it will only bring your child down.
8. College coaches are retained and paid to WIN games and have winning programs, so it is their job to put the best player at the time on the field.
9. The best player comes in many forms whether it is a combination of physically and mentally what is best for the team.
Signed Freshman Softball Mom 6-2022
 
Jun 22, 2019
258
43
I have two headed to college in Aug. They finished their recruiting trips thinking everyone loves them. I told them after you sign, you have to go to work. They wanted you to go to their school, but now they expect you to produce. Someone just paid you to play softball and their job depends on your performance…don’t let them regret their decision.

They have always been some of the top players on any team they’ve played on. I told them you’re going to have to compete for a spot and when you get one, it can be gone tomorrow if you aren’t consistent. There will be girls on the bench that are very close to the ones on the field and the little things are going to matter.

I think they got it. They’ve been on the treadmill and in the cage everyday since our talk. We‘ll see how they do in college, but I fully expect it to be challenging for them.
 
May 27, 2013
2,353
113
My biggest suggestion since a lot has already been covered is get them into a weight-training program this summer. They will jump into this pretty quickly once they get to campus so it helps them to be prepared and not be as sore.

Also, diet is extremely important! My dd actually lost weight (and she is on the thin side to start) at college because of all the activity with softball and not being a big fan of the food on campus. Any sources of protein you can get in to them will help. Protein bars, shakes, milk, etc.
 
Jun 27, 2018
291
28
Reflections on my DD’s freshman year she just finished

She sat. A lot. She consistently hit the weight room, even when it was just her and a handful of upper classmates. She always put in extra. Two teammates quit at the end off the season, before playoffs were even over because they didn’t see eye to eye with the coach. At the park me of the season she did get in some, and hit well. Including a home run. She also found out the senior player in her position is coming back for a 5th year, using that Covid eligibility. You know what she’s doing? Lifting over the summer, hitting over the summer and returning because she likes the school and the team.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Reflections on my DD’s freshman year she just finished

She sat. A lot. She consistently hit the weight room, even when it was just her and a handful of upper classmates. She always put in extra. Two teammates quit at the end off the season, before playoffs were even over because they didn’t see eye to eye with the coach. At the park me of the season she did get in some, and hit well. Including a home run. She also found out the senior player in her position is coming back for a 5th year, using that Covid eligibility. You know what she’s doing? Lifting over the summer, hitting over the summer and returning because she likes the school and the team.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks for sharing. Is it possible to play another position?

DD's first year (Covid Year) they only had 14 healthy players and 4 of those were Pitcher Only's. By default she was going to get a lot of playing time, but it was deserved. She was glad that Covid shut the season down, as she was worn out. This year there was something like 25 rostered players and there were lots of players on the bench. I realized that a team needs all those extra players. They need the depth. This season 5 players got injured and/or ended up in concussion protocol. There were some players that were not going to break into a starting role just b/c the players in front of them were just that much better. There were others who could plug and play depending on the day. You will either have to wait your turn or be better.

DD's team has 12 incoming freshman. I have done some cyber stalking on these players. From what I see, a few could make some noise, the others not so much.

To your point about hitting the weight room. That can make a huge difference. My DD had never hit more than 3 HR's in a season. This year she hit 8 HR's. 2 years ago, some of those balls would have been caught at the warning track. DD's team trainer gave the players a summer workout program and DD is hitting it. For incoming freshman that might be a little more difficult especially with playing TB.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
Living away from home, morning AND afternoon workouts, no longer being the best player, sitting more than they ever have, and possibly being on a team that loses more than any team they've been part of before.

For some making the jump to D1/2, it might also mean going from being a .400-.500 hitter to having trouble putting a bat on ANYTHING. It might mean going from being a dominant pitcher to not being able to get out of an inning. Small wonder so many quit. For most of those willing to grind through it, some success eventually finds them.

As Vertigo mentioned, diet is important. The weight training is designed to build muscle, but it appears to sometimes go the other way. If I had done in college what these kids do, I would have had real trouble keeping weight on, but some seem to find a way to get fat. Don't let them get hooked on the damn energy drinks.
 
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Jun 11, 2012
741
63
My DD is going to be a 5th year in the fall.

Things she’d say to all incoming (or any high school player who wants to play in college) players
1) be the one who talks to your coach, both club & school. Don’t let mom & dad do it. Get used to it now. It’ll help make the transition easier
2) learn to take constructive criticism, learn from it and move on.
3) follow any weight training or exercise program your college might give you over the summer. Failing a fitness test in the fall is not a good look.
4) Be prepared to sit or even play a position you’ve never played before. Coaches recruit larger numbers than they expect to come and sometimes end up with too many on your position. Being flexible and eager to learn can get you on the field. (For example-we had a catcher who played right field for 2 years waiting for the catcher to graduate, she then moved right into that spot. She had never played outfield but ended up being really good)

It’s a lot different than high school or club ball. Talk to your coach if you’re overwhelmed or talk to an older player. Take your harder classes in the fall if possible.
 
Feb 10, 2018
496
93
NoVA
Living away from home, morning AND afternoon workouts, no longer being the best player, sitting more than they ever have, and possibly being on a team that loses more than any team they've been part of before.

For some making the jump to D1/2, it might also mean going from being a .400-.500 hitter to having trouble putting a bat on ANYTHING. It might mean going from being a dominant pitcher to not being able to get out of an inning. Small wonder so many quit. For most of those willing to grind through it, some success eventually finds them.

As Vertigo mentioned, diet is important. The weight training is designed to build muscle, but it appears to sometimes go the other way. If I had done in college what these kids do, I would have had real trouble keeping weight on, but some seem to find a way to get fat. Don't let them get hooked on the damn energy drinks.
There is also this thing called beer and alcohol. Back in the stone ages when I was in college, the additional weight many folks put on from those empty calories was called the "Freshman 15." More recently replaced by the "Covid 19," from all the stress eating and drinking folks did during the height of the pandemic.
 
Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
My DD is going to be a 5th year in the fall.

Things she’d say to all incoming (or any high school player who wants to play in college) players
1) be the one who talks to your coach, both club & school. Don’t let mom & dad do it. Get used to it now. It’ll help make the transition easier
2) learn to take constructive criticism, learn from it and move on.
3) follow any weight training or exercise program your college might give you over the summer. Failing a fitness test in the fall is not a good look.
4) Be prepared to sit or even play a position you’ve never played before. Coaches recruit larger numbers than they expect to come and sometimes end up with too many on your position. Being flexible and eager to learn can get you on the field. (For example-we had a catcher who played right field for 2 years waiting for the catcher to graduate, she then moved right into that spot. She had never played outfield but ended up being really good)

It’s a lot different than high school or club ball. Talk to your coach if you’re overwhelmed or talk to an older player. Take your harder classes in the fall if possible.
Good post. And #1 is something coaches of older tb players can do by not communicating with parents. It’s painful at first but when players become responsible for communicating where’s and when’s to parents good things happen.

Incoming college freshmen need to be in the weight room with the help of a qualified trainer asap. Not a body builder! Not a guy with no quals who trains football players! Someone who strenght trains female athletes! They need to be doing it the right way. And I don’t care who you are, you need to be stronger.

Not all strength training was created equal.

DD #1 was at a mid major d1 where she and numerous other players were injured in varying degrees by improper lifting. There were constant injuries throughout the lineup. Particularly back injuries. Warning sign. Numerous kids using ibuprofen constantly. Warning sign. Trainers had them taking dosage more than regular dosing on the bottle. Warning sign.

DD #2 is at a school where the injuries tend to be on field type stuff like hands hit by pitches etc. There are very few phantom injuries, players are apparently very well trained. As a parent, in some degree you have to trust the training your dd is getting. Yet you still have to emphasize to your dd how important it is that she take responsibility for training herself as correctly as possible. Parents and players also have to watch for those nagging injuries that are signs of improper training. Does she need ice after every game etc? Watch for warning signs.

College teams/trainers sometimes resist medical treatment. They resist imaging. They are responsible for it, they know it, and sometimes they don’t want to know that a player is injured because the player is then not available while she is being treated. (Players do this too.) Be careful of this. Some aches and pains will happen. Some kids are so relentless that they do their bodies irreparable damage.

I have tried over the years to make people aware that parents perception of college softball is probably isn’t realistic. My youngest will be a college junior this year. It’s a challenge. Not everything has been like a storybook. Neither dd or my wife or I would have it any other way. She is exactly where she is supposed to be.
 
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