She is *VERY* fortunate to have someone who pays attention to details like you do. So, you have to learn to communicate with her as a coach rather than as a Dad. It is tough, and you are human. You will make mistakes.
Your job is to teach, teach, teach, teach. And then teach some more.
In sports, the reactions have to be instantaneous. So, going over what she did wrong and right is part of learning to play the game. However, when you feel yourself drifting into "you gotta want it" talk, shut up.
E.g.:
"Honey, it is really hard to be an outfielder. You have to focus on each and every pitch even though most aren't being hit to you. The way you do is to train yourself to look down at your feet after every pitch, then get the sign, then do a hop, then refocus on the batter. Let's see how many times you can do this each inning."
"you have to run for every ball. When you are on the field, you run as fast as you can. Let me teach you how outfielders run."
"Always throw to your cutoff. Who was your cutoff?"
"It is scary to have someone running right at you. But, here is how you get out of the way at the last instant so she doesn't hit you. We''ll practice it so you can do it right next time."
This is a very, very difficult lesson for anyone to learn. I struggle with it at 66YOA. We all do it.
When she is pitching, there is no "last play". There is no next play. There is no last pitch. There is no next pitch. There is only now, this pitch, and this moment.
True story: We have a friend who pitched 10 years in MLB. He won a game in the World Series. Not a great pitcher, but nevertheless....he won one, and I haven't. He told her, "When you are pitching, there is only you, the ball and the catcher's mitt."
So, her fault was not making her best pitch. Her goal is always, always, always to make the best pitch of her life on every pitch.
You aren't the problem. You are the solution.
When it comes to softball, you have to relate to her as a player and an athlete, not as your DD.
When it comes to everything else--driving, boys, school, etc.--*THEN* you are the Dad she is your little girl.
Your job is to teach, teach, teach, teach. And then teach some more.
In sports, the reactions have to be instantaneous. So, going over what she did wrong and right is part of learning to play the game. However, when you feel yourself drifting into "you gotta want it" talk, shut up.
E.g.:
Specifically, what is she doing wrong? In her last two games, not paying attention in outfield, ball was hit to her that should have been an easy out. She didn't see it off the bat and misjudged it so it went over her head as she charged in too hard.
"Honey, it is really hard to be an outfielder. You have to focus on each and every pitch even though most aren't being hit to you. The way you do is to train yourself to look down at your feet after every pitch, then get the sign, then do a hop, then refocus on the batter. Let's see how many times you can do this each inning."
It was a slow jog. If she would have ran hard the BR maybe could have made it to second, there would have at least been a play.
"you have to run for every ball. When you are on the field, you run as fast as you can. Let me teach you how outfielders run."
When she threw it back, she just threw it back in the direction of the infield, not setting her feet and threw to no one in particular.
"Always throw to your cutoff. Who was your cutoff?"
She vacates the bag into foul territory because the runner was "coming right at her." Runner slides in safe. LF saved the run, fortunately.
"It is scary to have someone running right at you. But, here is how you get out of the way at the last instant so she doesn't hit you. We''ll practice it so you can do it right next time."
Instead of regrouping, she just loses all focus, and pitches grounders until she walks in the run limit. Does not throw another strike, and makes no attempt to beat runners home on passed balls.
This is a very, very difficult lesson for anyone to learn. I struggle with it at 66YOA. We all do it.
When she is pitching, there is no "last play". There is no next play. There is no last pitch. There is no next pitch. There is only now, this pitch, and this moment.
True story: We have a friend who pitched 10 years in MLB. He won a game in the World Series. Not a great pitcher, but nevertheless....he won one, and I haven't. He told her, "When you are pitching, there is only you, the ball and the catcher's mitt."
So, her fault was not making her best pitch. Her goal is always, always, always to make the best pitch of her life on every pitch.
It's clear. I'm the problem here, not DD. I need to step back.
You aren't the problem. You are the solution.
When it comes to softball, you have to relate to her as a player and an athlete, not as your DD.
When it comes to everything else--driving, boys, school, etc.--*THEN* you are the Dad she is your little girl.