No competitive drive

[texasheat]

Melting down as in just pitching bad is not what I was talking about. Giving up was what I was talking about, although I guess the OP did not actually say that is what she was doing. By giving up I mean pouting and poor body language. I don't think that is par for the course or acceptable.

We agree to disagree then. My DD is a 16u pitcher and I speak from experience. You?

 

[_MIA_]

We agree to disagree then. My DD is a 16u pitcher and I speak from experience. You?

So you think it is fine to give up on the mound? I don't care whether it is common or not. WTF difference does my experience have to do with anything regarding that?

 

[badmonkey]

How does she compare to the other girls? Is everyone else giving it 100% all the time. The coach has the option of putting her on the bench, if she doesn't like that maybe she will pick it up, but it should still be fun. I would casually remind her that softball is a team game and that it's OK to make mistakes, but that she doesn't want to let her teammates/friends down by not doing her best. At the end of the day I feel that her not playing anymore should be her decision. Look at it from the outside and decide if this about her embarrassing herself, or is this about her embarrassing you.

Her effort is less than the other girls on the team. Some play very hard, most are up and down like DD, but DD is way more down than up. She is one of the best players on the team when she is playing with her best effort. So far she has worked her way to 11th in the lineup (out of 11), and sits more than the others. It's all justified. As far as not playing anymore, I meant not playing TB at a competitive level, and going back to rec. But I know she would hate it, and I would hate it. I just don't know if it's fair to a team to stick her with a girl that just doesn't give a rip.

She is not embarrassed at all. She doesn't care. I am embarrassed. I have fallen into that situation that I care more than she does. That is also embarrassing.

I've approached this issue previously from the team sport, don't let your teammates down perspective, and from the, I don't care how you perform, only that you give your best, perspective.

This is an issue in all her pursuits, btw. She does the same stuff in school, guitar, piano before that. All things she says she loves, just not enough to try.

 

[texasheat]

So you think it is fine to give up on the mound? I don't care whether is is common or not. WTF difference does my experience have to do with anything.

Because if you had any experience as a pitcher's dad, you would understand. Since you don't, you don't. No big deal.

It's sort of like riding Harley's. I just don't get it. My buddy once said, "If I have to explain it to you, wouldn't understand". It made sense after he said that.

 

[_MIA_]

Because if you had any experience as a pitcher's dad, you would understand. Since you don't, you don't. No big deal.

It's sort of like riding Harley's. I just don't get it. My buddy once said, "If I have to explain it to you, wouldn't understand". It made sense after he said that.

Answer my question. I have plenty of experience as an athlete myself, that is enough to know that a kid quitting on his/her team is no bueno. Again I don't care if she walks 10 kids in a row as long as it isn't because she just stopped caring about her performance. I was also a headcase when I played and had my fair share of meltdowns but it was typically because I cared TOO much, to me that is also bad but different.

 

[texasheat]

Her effort is less than the other girls on the team. Some play very hard, most are up and down like DD, but DD is way more down than up. She is one of the best players on the team when she is playing with her best effort. So far she has worked her way to 11th in the lineup (out of 11), and sits more than the others. It's all justified. As far as not playing anymore, I meant not playing TB at a competitive level, and going back to rec. But I know she would hate it, and I would hate it. I just don't know if it's fair to a team to stick her with a girl that just doesn't give a rip.

She is not embarrassed at all. She doesn't care. I am embarrassed. I have fallen into that situation that I care more than she does. That is also embarrassing.

I've approached this issue previously from the team sport, don't let your teammates down perspective, and from the, I don't care how you perform, only that you give your best, perspective.

This is an issue in all her pursuits, btw. She does the same stuff in school, guitar, piano before that. All things she says she loves, just not enough to try.

She needs for it to be fun again. Somewhere along the line, it has become a job more than a hobby. Maybe try backing off on practicing at home so much. Take a weekend off. Do something that says to her "This is not your life". it might work and it might not. Don't know until you try.

 

[badmonkey]

An 11 year old pitcher melting down after giving up a few walks? Color me SHOCKED! Lol.......that is par for the course. She will be fine as her confidence grows so do NOT address that part of her performance AT ALL. Address the part of her performance that came before the meltdown when she was throwing well. The last thing she needs is to have to relive the meltdown. You're doing more harm than good if you constantly "review" an 11 year olds mistakes. Pretty soon that's all she will remember.

Talk about destroying confidence. Always talking about the bad plays will do that quicker than anything else.

Yeah, it's not really a melt down. And giving up a walk doesn't bother her. Every time it's been a fielding error that has caused it. No pouting. Just a complete lack a focus and a breakdown of mechanics. Basically she just starts machine gunning grounders from the mound and makes no effort to correct.

 

[texasheat]

Answer my question. I have plenty of experience as an athlete myself, that is enough to know that a kid quitting on his/her team is no bueno. Again I don't care if she walks 10 kids in a row as long as it isn't because she just stopped caring about her performance.

Aren't you the dude that threw a water bottle at the fence when your DD made an error? So now you have to force yourself to sit in the outfield so you don't lose your temper and have another outburst. Why the hell would I want to discuss this with you? You're way out of touch.

 

[_MIA_]

Aren't you the dude that threw a water bottle at the fence when your DD made an error? So now you have to force yourself to sit in the outfield so you don't lose your temper and have another outburst. Why the hell would I want to discuss this with you? You're way out of touch.

Answer my question.

What does my behavior have to do with the question? Also go back and read what happened in that incident. Her error caused me to yell out to her some instruction, which she took poorly which prompted the umpire to get on me which prompted me to throw the water bottle. I already admitted I was wrong and yes the same thing that plagued when I played, e.g. the unrealistic perfectionism, does sneak its way back in sometimes when I am watching my DD so yes at times I am out of touch and a horrible person/Dad. I've admitted that a million times on here..it isn't a secret to anybody paying attention. I am working on it and it is slowly getting better. Also, I've always sat in the OF and was in the OF when that happened.

 

[joe720]

Basically she just starts machine gunning grounders from the mound and makes no effort to correct.

As i said a little earlier my DD did the same exact thing, would fire the ball 10' over the 1st basemans head before the batter even got out of the batters box. Her second year of 12U, didn't do it once. 11 is a tough age.

Does your DD like the girls on her team? Are there clicks that make here feel left out? Could be a lot of different things, hard to diagnose over the interweb.

I always come back to if they are having fun, that is all that matters. If the coach didn't want her on the team, they'd kick you off the team. So after a practice or a game, win, lose, or draw, go out and get an ice cream cone afterwards and don't talk about softball.