New to Travel Etiquette

[ndlucy]

Hi there,

My 11 yr old 10 U DD is new to travel ball. Coming from a very heavy daddy ball rec team/allstar experience. I wanted to try and get some field experience over the summer. We have picked up w 2 teams and she is doing very well. Both have shown interested in her joining their teams are impressed by her ability to learn and overall enthusiasm for the sport. One team has said the wanted her for next season, I said we were interested. My hubby then informed be that another team invited her to a work-out, she really likes them too. Is it ok to say hey we are interested but are still looking at another team? Should I not say anything? I rather just clarify that although I said we are interested in your team, I want you to know that she is looking at another team too. IS it ok for her to play on 2 teams during the summer to get some experience and a feel for travel before she commits?

 

[Eric F]

My advice...be honest with both teams about what you're doing. Especially since you're new to the TB world, finding the right fit is important. If one of the coaches gets upset that you're checking out other options, it's likely a sign that you don't want to be with that team.

Playing as a pick-up player for 2 teams is okay for a short time, but don't expect to do it for more than a couple of weeks. You will need to pick one team or the other, and expect to commit to being 100% with that team for the season. When it comes time to choose, listen to your DD on which team she likes better, and her reasons why (In my experience, they know pretty quickly). Her being comfortable and happy is a LOT more important that how many games the team wins. Getting playing time on a less-competitive team will be WAY more beneficial for her development than being on the bench while the team wins tournaments.

Good luck, and have fun.

Also...Welcome to DFP. Enjoy the ride!

 

[justanotherguy]

Her being comfortable and happy is a LOT more important that how many games the team wins. Getting playing time on a less-competitive team will be WAY more beneficial for her development than being on the bench while the team wins tournaments.

Good luck, and have fun.

This x10!!!! I'd also talk to the coach and get this take on winning vs development. My DD just made a move to a different team this season. They're not that good honestly. However, she loves the coach and likes the girls so far. She's enjoying herself again. That makes such a massive difference. Being on a "winning" team can often be a nightmare. This is really why you should tell the coaches your thoughts. Let her fill in and watch the games, but especially watch the coaches and your DDs reactions and thoughts. That will guide you.

 

[uncdrew]

Like most things in life, honesty is the best policy.

If they ask, or when appropriate, let them know you’re exploring other teams. It’s very common.

 

[Eric F]

My advice, simplified...

Check out a couple of teams. Pick the one your DD likes the vibe/feel of best. Play with them for the rest of the summer. Re-evaluate at the end of the summer season.

 

[MightyMO]

Definitely check out more than one team and be honest with all of them. That's the only way to find the right fit. And teams change a lot after the summer season. One that you are interested in may lose half of their team or fold all together.

 

[CMMom1740]

In addition to the above, I will say this: do not assume that because a coach says he is interested in your DD playing for him that that translates into a definite formal offer. Until he actually says, "I would like to offer Suzie a spot on my team," compliments and flattery mean nothing.

And even then, ask questions; "where do you envision her in the lineup?," "where do you see her playing on defense?," "will she be splitting a position with someone else (especially for pitchers/catchers; you want to know how many they have). And, on the other side of the same coin, after you've accepted an offer, that means you're done looking. If you'd like to hold an offer while you're still looking, just say so ("We have a couple other possibilities we're looking into; can I get back with you re: your offer by Sunday?"). Don't expect offers to be held for long periods though. We had a coach promise to hold a position until a certain date and then he gave it away anyway before that date.

So, do your due diligence. Don't play games, but expect that the coaches might and do sometimes.

 

[inumpire]

You might also want to ask some questions like, how much to play? What does the money go for? As parents do we get to see an accounting record of where the money goes. If they tell you that they won’t share the accounting expenses, that should be a red flag in my opinion.

 

[ndlucy]

OMg we are only getting started and its slightly overwhelming!! Thanks for all the great advice!!
I will be honest, weigh our options, figure out the best match and take DDs input on what she likes most.
What about the parents?!?! I get there can be some rivalry. But what’s to be expected and what’s too much?

 

[Eric F]

What about the parents??!?! Like when do you ignore and what could be a potential issues? I get there is gonna be some level of rivalry maybe?

The parent question is a can of worms and a box of chocolates - LOL. 10U and 12U parents can get pretty nutty - especially pitcher’s parents. By 14U, they tend to start calming down...a little.

An important thing to remember...zero college coaches care what your DD did in 10U. Some parents have trouble grasping this concept. Generally speaking, as long as she is having fun and getting better, she’s doing fine.