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CoreSoftball20

Wilson = Evil Empire
DFP Vendor
Dec 27, 2012
6,215
113
Kunkletown, PA
By what you said, Just sounds like she picks and chooses when she thinks she has to give 100% and when to give 75%. The problem with that is,
sometimes it gets easier and easier to not give the 100%

Just saying, one of the easiest things to see in a player, is lack of effort/determination.
 
Jul 29, 2016
231
43
By what you said, Just sounds like she picks and chooses when she thinks she has to give 100% and when to give 75%. The problem with that is,
sometimes it gets easier and easier to not give the 100%

Just saying, one of the easiest things to see in a player, is lack of effort/determination.

No. If this is how you see it, then I’ve not communicated well. If you saw her in a game or in practice, you’d think she was intense and devoted. It’s outside of the structured stuff where she’s not self-motivated.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Thanks, everyone, for the feedback and insight. I showed this thread to my wife, and she suggested that I might have portrayed my daughter as being a slacker. She is NOT a slacker. She is very intense at practices (school ball and travel ball). She works out with an athletic trainer who focuses his workouts on what she needs as a softball player. She also goes to weekly workouts with a batting/catching coach.

She has plenty of scheduled softball time, and when she's doing that stuff, she is intense, listens, and is very "coachable." When I suggested there was a problem with her motivation, I meant only that she very rarely works on her game outside of the structured stuff we've arranged for her.

You state that she attends workouts and has weekly lessons. I assume that she plays on the weekends and has team practices interspersed in the week. Sounds like she has more than enough softball stuff to keep her very busy. What more do you want from her? There is a fine line between knowing when press the gas pedal and when to let off. Be careful of burnout.
 
Jul 29, 2016
231
43
What more do you want from her? There is a fine line between knowing when press the gas pedal and when to let off. Be careful of burnout.

We're getting a little far afield from my initial inquiry which concerned whether we should hire a recruiting coordinator.

But to answer your question, what I expect from her is self-motivation. Not once in the past six months (maybe even in the past year) has she done any tee work, practice throwing, or asked to go to the batting cages. She has everything she needs to do this whenever she wants at home. Her travel team's manager has laid out schedules for them to communicate with college coaches, and our daughter has completely ignored that. I am 100% happy for her to play softball for fun with a view toward doing it for another year or two, but A-level travel ball and hiring a recruiting coordinator are not things we should be doing if we don't want to keep playing after high school. The time and money investment (for the entire family) is significant.

I guess part of the problem is we don't push her at all. There's no real chance of burnout because we aren't helicopter parents. We go to games and practices, but we keep our mouths shut, cheer for everyone, and watch. We do not criticize umpires, coaches or teammates. We cringe when the other team celebrates failure (cheers counting balls and celebrating high/low pitches and walks are especially irksome). If she wants a new bat or new cleats, we make sure she really needs them, and then we provide the new equipment. Our only expectation is that she follows-through with her commitments to the team.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Thanks for the updated information. As of now don't hire the Scout.

Your situation is not unusual. My DD is the same way. She never initiates extra work as it pertains to skill development. Just like you, we have all the tools available to get that extra work. Yes it is frustrating that our kids only do the minimum. Because of her lack motivation, I knew she would not fit well in most D1 programs. She could play at a mid major, but she doesn't want to work that hard. So we began targeting schools that fit better. D3 was a better fit for her academically, athletically, and socially. She could even join a sorority if she wanted to, which won't happen. She will have a solid chance of getting some serious playing time as a freshman too.

Just let it play it out. Does she have a Target list of schools yet?
 
Jul 29, 2016
231
43
Does she have a Target list of schools yet?

Sort of. Her target list is pretty much our target list. She's been to camps at College of Charleston, Bama, Mercer, GaTech, Georgia. She likes CofC (I grew up there, and my mom still lives there). She's thinking about Furman, but she only knows what we've told her. I think she might actually be a good fit for a small school in Virginia (JMU maybe). I'm very connected academically at a solid SEC school (you'd probably never guess where), but unless he's a late bloomer, the SEC is out of the question. I honestly think she might be a good fit for one of the Ivies. Might be a tough sell to a kid who grew up watching SEC football and hearing her grandmother talk about southern sororities.

edit to add: wife has pointed out that the scout costs the same whether we hire him when she's in 9th grade or in 11th.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
But to answer your question, what I expect from her is self-motivation. Not once in the past six months (maybe even in the past year) has she done any tee work, practice throwing, or asked to go to the batting cages. She has everything she needs to do this whenever she wants at home.

I used to worry about motivation outside of 'structured' and scheduled softball activities, but then I added up all the time my DD was committed to between softball related things, school, homework, service hours and other required activities. There wasn't and isn't a lot of time for anything else. There is only so many hours in the day. The very few free days or hours she does get my DD deserves to hang out with friends or relax a bit.

Her travel team's manager has laid out schedules for them to communicate with college coaches, and our daughter has completely ignored that. I am 100% happy for her to play softball for fun with a view toward doing it for another year or two, but A-level travel ball and hiring a recruiting coordinator are not things we should be doing if we don't want to keep playing after high school. The time and money investment (for the entire family) is significant.

The majority of girls really don't get deep into recruiting and committing to their final college until Junior year of high school. Most commitments happen when they are seniors. Most of freshman and sophomore years are just getting your feet wet, meeting people, seeing what you like, deciding whether you want to play or not, etc, etc. It is total BS that the money is gone or 'they are not recruiting 20XX any more' or all the other 'you are missing out' lines. If she isn't ready yet, it is not a big deal. If and when she is ready - it wont be too late. And if it doesn't happen, then that isn't bad either.

Our only expectation is that she follows-through with her commitments to the team.

Sounds like when she is out there, she is 100% out there. That is great.
 
Jan 18, 2018
22
0
Sort of. Her target list is pretty much our target list. She's been to camps at College of Charleston, Bama, Mercer, GaTech, Georgia. She likes CofC (I grew up there, and my mom still lives there). She's thinking about Furman, but she only knows what we've told her. I think she might actually be a good fit for a small school in Virginia (JMU maybe). I'm very connected academically at a solid SEC school (you'd probably never guess where), but unless he's a late bloomer, the SEC is out of the question. I honestly think she might be a good fit for one of the Ivies. Might be a tough sell to a kid who grew up watching SEC football and hearing her grandmother talk about southern sororities.

edit to add: wife has pointed out that the scout costs the same whether we hire him when she's in 9th grade or in 11th.

There are a bunch of high academic schools (D3) in the areas that you mentioned that have softball programs. You may want to look at some of those.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
There are a bunch of high academic schools (D3) in the areas that you mentioned that have softball programs. You may want to look at some of those.

And the Patriot League.

Gamecocks: Lucky for your DD she has plenty of time to figure it out. They will change their mind 50 times in the next few years and your list of schools will change as well. Your job is to eliminate as many schools as fast as you can, so you don't have to think about them anymore so that you can devote your time on the schools that are the right fit. Have her make a list of what things she wants out of college.

Niche.com can help with some of this.

Intended Major? Change of major opportunity? Earning potential after graduation? Greek system? Football team? City? Rural? Big? Small? Number of hours from home? Finances? Cost to visit on the weekend for parents? Team stability? Turnover? Is it important that the team is competitive? The list goes on.

Does your DD's TB have a history of getting players recruited at any of your target schools? If so, those coaches are the ones that you should lean on, not a scouting service. And don't feel like your DD is being left behind or the need to keep up with other players' recruiting process. As a parent you are her best advocate and you know what is best for your family. You are allowed to help her with her emails. Create a template and help her fill in the blanks and personalize it. Do you have a skills video yet or some clips to send? I know the coaches want everything to come from the player, but let's be honest we have all helped our DD's along in this process. Some kids are more proactive than others. I had to poke and prod my kid...LOTS! Just sit down with her and help her along, then the next time it gets a little easier and less painful. Kid's these days don't know how to leave a voicemail, compose an email, and have a conversation on the phone.

I spoke to a dad last night after they had a meeting with their future college coaches. They have 7 2019 recruits coming in and not 1 pitcher. And they are in need of catcher since their current one is having injury issues.
 
Feb 6, 2017
38
6
As far as recruiting services go it honestly depends on the person you work with. Make sure you research the program and the person she will be working with. My DD is with NSR and her scout is amazing. He knows everyone it seems. With the recruiting rule changes it seems he can get more out of coach than TB coaches can. He will save us money on camps this year because we know who is looking at her. One went as far as saying she needed to be on campus for everything they had because they really like her and asked if she would like to stay local for college.

He flat out told us his job wasn't getting her to a top 10 softball program. It was finding us the most money possible to help her get the best education. He was honest up front and told us DD was an SEC talent with a mid-major body. He told her she could play for a Power 5 but would need to find the right coach that likes kids like her. He pointed us towards programs he thought she would be a good fit for and it got her some interest. He also has worked every level from JUCO up to get her out there. One key is a lot of coaches trust him. He doesn't sell DI coaches on a girl if she can't play at that level. I think that is one of his biggest assets, he is honest and doesn't oversell parents or coaches to protect his reputation.

We are with NSR as well. Our scout has been great. Not only in finding options for DD, but just being a good ear and support for her.


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