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Need advice

ok i am new to travel ball. i have been coaching with a friend for about 2 years at our park. my daughter played 8-under last year during league and then played on the all star team. i helped coach the all star team last year. she moved up to 10-under this year and my friend and i put a travel team together to play ASA after the season was over this year. we did well and talked about going forward with the team. well after all the ASA tournaments finished up we lost about 6 players. some parents just wasn't dedicated enough to keep going. we did pretty well in the ASA tournaments. so my buddy and myself decided to just play fall ball and see what happened. we are finishing up fall ball and i was approached by a pretty big name travel team here in southern alabama and they are wanting my daughter to play for them. now here is the problem. i told them i was very interested in letting my daughter play for them. once i told my friend, the coach of our team, he started throwing a team together. well i really want to do what is best for my daughter, but i feel like i am betraying my friend. this travel team that asked my daughter to play goes all the way through an 18-up team. did i mention the park we play at is wanting me to be the comissioner over softball. i have told the parents off our old travel team that i was going to try and get up a team after the first of the year. now i really want her to play with this new travel team, but i don't want to anger the parents of my home park. what should i do?


Softball fan
Feb 28, 2008
Montreal, Canada
Tough decision. I don't think anybody can answer this for you. However, there are some questions you can answer to help...

I think the first thing you have to ask yourself - where does your daughter will have more fun?

Does she have precious friend over this team?

How much do YOU want to get involved?

How much work will that be for you to rebuild your team? Will it work?

Is this new very structured with great coaches and has a reputation for providing a positive environment for the girls?

Could you provide something similar for your daugther within your team with a bit of work?

What does your daugther want?

It's hard to answer. There are pros and cons to both. I think I would put my daugther a little ahead... in terms of what she wants, where it will be more fun for her, etc.


Amy in AZ.

Super Moderator
May 7, 2008
I guess you have discussed and figured out the costs associated with the new team? Are they affordable?

What does your DD want to do?

Whatever you do, tell everyone up front what your decision is. You don't have to tell them why, but don't leave people up in the air.
the thrillers is an established team. our team is more or less a park team that we was trying to build and i was funding the majority of it. i will be less involved finacially than i am now. i took her to one practice and i was very impressed with their coaching ability. where the problem lies is i have friends as does my daughter at the park. i don't want to burn any bridges with them. i have discussed this with quite a few people and everyone, except the coach of our fall ball team, says i should go for it. my daughter says she wants to play with both teams, but i told her that isn't possible. i called the coach of the thrillers and told him i was going to let my daughter play with them. i am stressing this decision alot.
Jun 16, 2008
Congratulations, it's flattering when an organization that is reputable wants you and your daughter to join them. I've been there and it's a great feeling. It looks like you made your decision, but for others who may be making this decision I would like to reiterate what Marc said above.

Will your daughter take instruction from you as a coach? There are times I can tell my DD the exact same thing as another coach and she will listen to them more attentively.

How far will your knowledge of the game take her or your team if you decide to put a team together or keep your team?

The most important question, I think, is who is driving the change? The player should primarily initiate the move to a more competitive environment. If they don't you get lots of frustration and blame. The kids have to enjoy the game and who they are playing with.

At younger ages, and maybe at any age, the best team for your daughter might not be the best team out there.
that is one of the problems. i do not have alot of knowledge in the fundementals or teaching them. i am trying to learn. i used to play mens softball, but it was recreational. i know i sound like every parent out there, but i really think my daughter has a gift. she was in competitive gymnastics and did very well. one day my twins where practicing with their softball team and she told me she wanted to drop out of gymnastics and take up softball. she has been playing for about one and a half years. she is a very good pitcher and i was kind of blown away when they approached me asking if she would be interested in playing with them. she has alot of learning to do and i just feel she isn't getting it where we are now. her batting skills are lacking very badly and i think these guys are the ones to get her up to speed. i will not be coaching on this team. at least i don't think i will be.
Sep 18, 2008
You have to do what's right for your daughter. You and others don't matter so much. It's her that will be working hard, fitting in with whichever team and playing the games.

Just make sure the new team is the right choice. Is she committed enough? Is the coach respectful towards the players? Does she like the other players? Look at the parents, are they like you?

Remember she's very young and can make this jump later if she is truly that good.

Changing kids environments is risky. As a parent I'm sure you've heard statements like "Watch out who they hang out with, kids are easily impressionable." Well she'll be hanging with a travel team a lot.

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