Need advice. How can I motivate my daughter to practice more?

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

May 22, 2015
410
28
Illinois
A little adversity & being challenged for playing time might not be such a bad thing. It could either tell her that maybe this not really what I'm after, or be a motivating factor and she decides to step it up a notch. Once the thought of failure kicks in the drive to succeed should kick in as well. My DD has been challenged & passed over since she started playing because she is so small. Since she was 12 (and I quit coaching her) she took it upon herself to do the extra work. She's 15 now & hits, throws, and lifts all on her own. Yesterday she stayed after practice with coach for an extra 20 minutes just to field grounders. I have no doubt this is what she wants to do. My boy on the other hand not so much, and I'm cool with that. He plays football, and would just show up for games if he could lol.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
In my admittedly more limited experience with boys' sports, they play better when they feel good too.
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
When DD was in 6th grade, her youth basketball program fell apart. In order for her to continue playing, it became necessary to form a team in a different local league, which happened to be co-ed. I had the opportunity to coach a team that had 4 girls and 5 boys. That experience definitely opened my eyes concerning some of the differences between coaching each. That said, I found that both performed better when they felt comfortable and loose, but still challenged to improve.

In my opinion it's the final item that can be the most difficult. Many people spend their life attempting to avoid failure instead of striving for success. If you can teach a player the difference, you have a chance of improving their motivation. But some are so afraid of failure, that they will resist every step of the way.
 
Jan 5, 2018
385
63
PNW
Motivation= a feeling...it comes and goes.

Committed = a action.

My experience is that motivation can be fleeting and fickle...affected by many different factors.

Committed is the action that takes place even on the days when motivation is low.

I'd suggest learning her WHY? Why does she play softball? Why does she pitch? Help her discover her WHY and subsequent goals it may help you define the commitment required to enjoy her WHY and accomplish her goals.
 
Mar 8, 2016
313
63
You have gotten some really good advice. My dd's softball journey started with rec ball and she said her goal was to play HS softball. We told her she could play travel but she had to put extra work in on her own if she wanted to do it since it was a big commitment. We purposefully left it open ended but she knew she needed to be willingly to do more. Every year thereafter I would ask her what her goals where. When she said she wanted to play in college around 12yo we talked to her about what would be involved in getting to that point and helped her lay out a road map to reach that goal. I tried to explain to her that not doing things was a decision as well. It was her choice if she wanted to do it and she needed to let us know if her goals changed from wanting to play in college.
She was never a pitcher past rec but we explained to her that if she wanted to take hitting lessons then she had to do her homework between lessons. She has always been good at doing the extra things but is not the kid that lives, eats, and breathes softball. If we felt like she was not putting enough time in then we would remind her of her goals and what it would take to reach those goals and let her decide. She has never wavered in those goals and has continued to put in extra work (not always as much as I thought she should). It has helped that she has been very successful and seen the hard work pay off.
We have tried our best to let it be her journey as so many others on here have described but I think it is important that we sit down with our kids and help them with their goals and lay a road map out for them to be able to reach those goals. They are young girls who live text message to text message. We are trying get them to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives and what college will help meet those goals.
IMHO the best advice you have received is to be careful with your instructions to your dd. I want my dd to succeed so badly I am constantly correcting and pointing out areas she could improve. I know I have to very careful and be sure that I am her dad and cheer leader some of the time and not always pointing out things she could do better. Luckily I have DW to straighten me out.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
113
my $0.02

sometimes you have to push a little, but make certain it is not too much. DD was really wavering on SB for a while, but now seems to have found her love again, and is dreaming about playing for an SEC school. at the low points, she would talk about how we were making her play, but in reality it was simply we told her that she was going to do some type of sport each season, but she could pick (and she was really soured on soccer after a couple of horrible travel coaches). and she loved (and still does) to go work with her instructor when we could squeeze it in time and money wise. she decided a couple of years ago she wasnt going to pitch (mainly because of the work involved), but now has set the net up in the backyard and has been pitching some to it (she has pretty much all the tools she needs to put in work on her own (net, tee, buckets of balls, wiffles, etc.), and she knows I will play catch with her or catch for her anytime). had to stop her session the other nite because my eyes could no longer track the ball. NOw her instructor is going to do a quick eval on her pitching to see if it is worthwhile to pursue (and she is going to ask her rec coach to let her pitch, pretty certain he will, probably with a few more sessions could be #2 on her rec team).

so it is a thin line between not letting them give up, and pushing too hard (and I admit I probably did push too much on work outside team practices, it was really when I backed off that she started to come around, now she si doing solo work without even me!)
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
Gift her the book "Chop Wood Carry Water".
I can guarantee it will change her perspective. It did for my DD and several of her teamates. Auburn also read it and uses the principles
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,477
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top