My daughter is dreading high school ball approaching

[GoRight]

It’s not even that I think she should be starting over the other girl, it’s that she never got the opportunity to try and prove she can play. If I gave that impression I’m sorry. The girls get along, she just doesn’t hang out with most of them outside of softball. There is no mean girl thing going on. Just different interests. That’s fine. I just can’t stand the fact that on the first day she announced her starters with no actual tryout. And I know from experience, Coach doesn’t use her bench players much if at all.


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[BT3100]

Sorry about your situation and I feel for your daughter.
I truly believe that the situations like yours do occur but are rare and unfortunately tarnish most programs that are run based on merit.
DDs HS coach had some very tough decisions to make this week as we had 60+ girls tryout. Being in tune to the talent in our area I know what kids are players and what kids are not ready for our team's level of play. Still starting to hear rumblings from parents who feel that their kid didn't make the team due to politics. Which is simply not the case. I don't know if it's a matter of them not understanding the game or they truly have blinders on when it comes to their kids talent. DD (P)was first team all state last year as a sophomore, led the state in strikeouts, team MVP.. and she said to me after first workout in September "we have a freshman coming in who's gonna compete for the starting job and push me, I need to work even harder this off season". And she did!
That's a team culture where merit is rewarded and nothing is handed to anyone. For a parent to assert that it's all politics does a significant disservice to kids that bust their butts day in and day out to earn a spot.

 

[spleen1015]

It’s not even that I think she should be starting over the other girl, it’s that she never got the opportunity to try and prove she can play. If I gave that impression I’m sorry. The girls get along, she just doesn’t hang out with most of them outside of softball. There is no mean girl thing going on. Just different interests. That’s fine. I just can’t stand the fact that on the first day she announced her starters with no actual tryout. And I know from experience, Coach doesn’t use her bench players much if at all.


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That is kind of the nature of HS sports sometimes. There are endless stories about how good players have to wait their turn and being better doesn't matter.

Hopefully your DD gets the chance to prove she deserves to play.

 

[bmakj]

we do not let others use DDs gear either. in fact, I had to once tell a coach politely to please take her mitt off (he was receiving for the other coach who was hitting to the fielders), as we did not want finger stalls stretched ( I would let another girl borrow mitt as long as hands were not ginormous). and sweaty helmet, eewwwww. and it took her (and I, as sometimes she simply hands me the gear and says this is too tight/loose) some time to get the straps where they are now, do not want that ruined. if anyone asks why, we tell here to throw the heat on us (DW and I), say it is our rule.

 

[CoachJD]

How good can a catcher be if she doesn't have her own gear?

Could be a kid who's very good but doesn't have a few hundred bucks lying around to buy gear of her own.

EDIT: I'm not suggesting a catcher should have to share her personal gear.

 

[GoRight]

I guess my confusion is, DD wasn’t given a proper tryout. She actually wasn’t given ANY tryout. That’s the worst thing. The gear thing was just the topper. Why wouldn’t coach at least take a look? Before you all ask, there is no attitude issue. She is actually maybe TOO quiet in social situations. She chatters on field, but away from the field in other situations she is a bit reserved. Always respects others though. I think coach thinks she is a buddy to some of these kids. It’s all a moot point now. She’s got stuff lined up to keep her going until TB starts up.


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[3girls]

Did she quit the team?

If not, I recommend her calling the coach or asking for a 1 on 1 meeting and have your daughter describe Her concerns. I had my daughter call her coach in volleyball because she didn’t understand why she wasn’t getting a fair shake.

That call was amazing, the coach explained what she was seeing and told her what she needed to work on. The coach was very happy that she called and was expressing a desire for more opportunities and wanted to get better.

At the end of the day it didn’t translate into a ton more playing time, but it made the playing experience much better and communication with her at practice was better. Turned a horrible experience into a good one.