My daughter is dreading high school ball approaching

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Oct 23, 2014
30
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We started HS ball with some excitement, but the freshman year slapped us back into the reality of high school politics, seniority worship, etc. Since then, we keep telling our DD that it's a good way to keep in shape for TB season and at least she's getting some practice in. DD looked into playing adult slowpitch leagues, and has filled in for some games and had an absolute blast doing so. Only problem is that they don't hold any practices, and the league is strictly for fun, so there isn't any skills development or coaching. So, once again she will try out for HS ball and we will go in expecting more of the same. Bonus thing is that we finally have a new coach! We may be pleasantly surprised this year, who knows?
 
May 29, 2015
3,731
113
Great question. But it's not just softball, Baseball is involved to. And if you involve Baseball in the fall, then they lose a HUGE majority of kids who play football. There's no right time that doesn't conflict with something else. Spring is the worst for softball/baseball due to weather in most places and if they'd just switch softball and volleyball, it'd probably make some sense.

Bill

That spring/fall observation is something I had never even thought about ... fascinating! It would be interesting to see statistics on college players and their relative HS seasons.
 
May 12, 2015
82
8
It’s sad. She’s a 2021. Freshman year she was at a different (private) school and the team was more structured and well run. Last year she transferred into a public school and it’s a train wreck. The practices are basically a giant goof session. No real work. Especially if you aren’t the starting 9. Then you are on the side practicing pop ups or doing tee work. Only the starting 9 get the field and even then it’s a bunch of fooling around. The coach even stated last year she didn’t care about the girls attitudes as long as they can play, and it’s not a team full of players either. At least one kid that was TB (3B) walked away from TB last year. Not even sure if she’s coming out. Another one that was TB (1B) might have quit. I heard she didn’t play Fall Ball anywhere. The others that are left fool around. It’s tough on my kid because last year she tried so hard to fit in but the coach wouldn’t change her line up. It’s like she didn’t even give my daughter a chance to even compete for a spot. She’s serious about getting recruited and most of the ones playing couldn’t care less. Also last year my daughter was working through some swing issues. She was transitioning from a linear swing to that darned launch angle swing that most everyone hates. Her hitting coach told her to trust the process. That was last winter when he started that. He got my DD convinced to try it and she totally believes in it. So basically last Spring for high school and last summer for TB she wasn’t hitting well. So on the high school team, the combination of a terrible atmosphere and not hitting added up to her being miserable. She hung in there and kept cheering on her team. I was proud of that. Thankfully she did well on defense for her TB team so the summer wasn’t bad.

Now, her hitting is coming together. Something clicked and she got her swag back. It started coming together at the end of the Fall season. Right now In practice she is crushing it and her confidence is back. She’s got the swing down, and it shows. We aren’t sure who is returning to the school softball team. I’m encouraging her to go to the tryouts and check it out. She still isn’t thrilled about it. I told her to show them she can hit, last year was a transition period/slump. The other girl who was playing ahead of her apparently isn’t returning (or so she says). She’s supposedly playing a different sport. So I told my daughter that should open up some room. She still says the overall vibe from some of the girls and the terrible practices don’t make her thrilled about it. She was going to talk to her prospective college coach about it, get his opinion. It’s not really the fact that she might not play, it’s the lack of real practice even if she doesn’t. Its like she’s just doing nothing. Off to the side hitting off a tee. That’s fine but you can only do that so much. It’s basically a waste of time. She’s wondering if she should pick up some rec ball before the summer TB starts. Her best friend plays on a rec team. She (her friend) won’t even consider the school team. She’s not that serious about it. Rec ball is fine for her. She doesn’t want to put up with the school team. Too unorganized and crazy for her. I have a feeling my daughter will end up going out for the team, but if she doesn’t she has to find something to keep in shape.


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I hear ya. High drive, quite capable DD plays for a low performing hs. Middle infielder/of but has to pitch in school ball cause nobody else even knows how. WE joke that people around the conference probably know her as the really good hitting lousy pitcher.. many of the kids are friends and she has an overwhelming sense of obligation to play.. we don't have the behavioral problems, just most have never played.. lots of car rides home spent crying.. losing 18-1 giving up 4 earned is though...
 
May 12, 2015
82
8
I would think attending hs games and talking to kids are two different things depending on the quiet periods. Also different rules for d2 and d3 from d1..
 
Dec 6, 2019
382
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My oldest plays travel so that she can play school ball. School ball is always the priority. We had a D1 coach at one of our scrimmages last spring, and I often see coaches from all levels at our postseason game sites. And she has had multiple college coaches ask her for HS schedule this winter while attending camps.
 
May 20, 2015
1,095
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the ONLY negative we had with high school ball last year was DD#1 making 2nd team all conference despite having better numbers than the conference player of the year lol......the senior that made 1st team ahead of her had a BA that was almost 200 points lower, had far less runs scored, RBI, an OBP that was lower by 300pts and a fielding percentage that was significantly lower (DD had 1 error in 43 chances)......the first question this players coach had for ours when he present DD for all conference was "what year is she?"...our coach's response "what the hell does that matter?"

we started 4 freshman last year......2 seniors sat......this year the lone senior will not start, and DD will be a sophomore captain.....I have 4 of my travel players on this team now, and all of them look forward to HS ball (well one transferred in and she is this year, after a negative last year)

our HC was open to me coming on board, values my experience and those of the travel players on the team.....this year my 4 play, a freshman plays for another org after playing on the team below mine in our org, and one junior did one year on one of my teams.....next year DD#2 comes in as well as a pitcher from another org....so about half of our players play travel......HC looks at skill & effort, nothing else, and those who work and can help the team play, period......we work pretty hard at establishing culture, and expect all the girls to be leaders in some capacity......i'll be doing covenant work (proactive coaching style) with the girls before the season starts....

guess we're in the minority.....we look forward to HS season in that it is a little more low key than travel, it gets us ready for the travel season, it allows our girls to shine, it lets us play for the school/community, and our HC does it right.......all in all it's a great experience for our girls, there's something about playing for your school and community that can't always be recreated elsehwere
 
Jun 27, 2018
291
28
Update. Last week my daughter passed the coach in the hallway at school. Daughter held the door open for her...coach walks by and mutters “thank you.” Nothing else. Sorry but I would expect more like “Hey how ya doing, are you ready for softball starting?” Nothing. I should have known then what was coming.

Daughter shows up first day of tryouts all optimistic. The student last who played her position last year moved on to another sport. (She might have quit softball all together). Daughter moved up to 18u Gold this year and had a good fall season. Seems to have also got her hitting issues fixed. The starting 9 is announced on the first day without even a tryout or the opportunity to compete for positions. Mind you, this is not a softball strong school. What’s worse, the kid they got playing catcher has no gear and they asked my kid to borrow hers. I think this kid used to play TB but hasn’t in the last year or two. Talk about being humiliated.

I can’t figure it out. Since my daughter transferred to this school the coach basically ignores her. I’m wondering now if there are parent politics going on behind the scenes. The girls treat her ok but my daughter is a quiet kid and she does not really run in the popular crowd. She already made up her mind to walk away. Just walk away and play some rec ball through Spring and hit the gym for weights. It’s sad because academically she’s doing great and she wants to participate in a school sport but it’s really not fun for her and it basically sucks when she goes to practice and it’s not even really a practice. Especially since she’s regulated to the bench again. That means standing around a lot, maybe getting pulled to the side and shagging fly balls.


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Oct 23, 2014
30
18
Update. Last week my daughter passed the coach in the hallway at school. Daughter held the door open for her...coach walks by and mutters “thank you.” Nothing else. Sorry but I would expect more like “Hey how ya doing, are you ready for softball starting?” Nothing. I should have known then what was coming.

Daughter shows up first day of tryouts all optimistic. The student last who played her position last year moved on to another sport. (She might have quit softball all together). Daughter moved up to 18u Gold this year and had a good fall season. Seems to have also got her hitting issues fixed. The starting 9 is announced on the first day without even a tryout or the opportunity to compete for positions. Mind you, this is not a softball strong school. What’s worse, the kid they got playing catcher has no gear and they asked my kid to borrow hers. I think this kid used to play TB but hasn’t in the last year or two. Talk about being humiliated.

I can’t figure it out. Since my daughter transferred to this school the coach basically ignores her. I’m wondering now if there are parent politics going on behind the scenes. The girls treat her ok but my daughter is a quiet kid and she does not really run in the popular crowd. She already made up her mind to walk away. Just walk away and play some rec ball through Spring and hit the gym for weights. It’s sad because academically she’s doing great and she wants to participate in a school sport but it’s really not fun for her and it basically sucks when she goes to practice and it’s not even really a practice. Especially since she’s regulated to the bench again. That means standing around a lot, maybe getting pulled to the side and shagging fly balls.


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I personally do not feel it's appropriate at all to ask your daughter to donate her gear to another player, just my feelings about the issue. It's not just a $30 face mask or a spare glove. The problem is how to refuse politely and firmly without looking like a poor sport.

I have a feeling this may be like our previous 3 years of experience with high school ball. The usual popularity politics, and parents with fat checkbooks and the ability to get big tax write-off donations from their privately owned businesses. Pay to play. This year, we seriously have lucked out with almost all new coaching staff, I am cautiously looking forward to the season.
 
May 29, 2015
3,731
113
The starting 9 is announced on the first day without even a tryout or the opportunity to compete for positions. Mind you, this is not a softball strong school.

No ... that is WHY they are not a softball strong school. I remember my oldest coming home from her first school tryouts and announcing she was playing first base. I said "That's great, but why? You've never played first base." I thought maybe I had goofed by never playing her there! Her response is "Well, coach said she already had her team before tryouts and this was the only open spot." Yup.

What’s worse, the kid they got playing catcher has no gear and they asked my kid to borrow hers. I think this kid used to play TB but hasn’t in the last year or two. Talk about being humiliated.

🤯😤 No, nope, no way. @PitchMum is right though: how do you refuse graciously?

I am a fan of parents staying out of things when kids reach this age, but I wouldn't be able to avoid interjecting myself on this one. I'd simply send the coach a nice message asking if she/he needs help fundraising for the team. I'd explain that my daughter is a team player, but her gear is something that I (or even she) spent a lot of money on. Catcher's gear is safety equipment, selected and adjusted to fit the athlete using it. If it is not adjusted, it is not protecting the player as it should. If it is constantly adjusted, it will not last as long as it should. If that seemed to go nowhere, I would be sharing the letter with the athletic director who should be ensuring the team has what it needs to function.
 
May 29, 2015
3,731
113
The student last who played her position last year moved on to another sport. (She might have quit softball all together).

I wanted to take this thought in a separate response ...

Our school thinks (or thought, thankfully my kids have all graduated now) that soccer was taking kids away from the softball program. The softball coach even had the chutzpah to go to the AD and the Board to ask them to "make the soccer coach quit recruiting her players".

She had it completely bass-ackwards. Kids were quitting softball (because of her) but still wanted something to do. Soccer not only provided more opportunity to play, but the coach was a young coach who was fair, made it fun, and engaged all the kids.

If you have kids quitting your program, you have a problem. If you have kids quitting your program to play other sports, you need to look in the mirror.
 

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