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Make it move

Jul 22, 2015
429
63
I'm trying to give some friendly advice, although experience tells me that you won't it see as such. But, here it is:

It is her show. It is her game. It is her successes and her failures, not yours. It is time to move on.

You have to learn to sit quietly and not interject yourself into the game.

The point of softball, and raising kids, is to create people who don't need you. If you've done your job correctly, she doesn't need your help.
I agree on premise, but I've seen many parents with this thought process take it so far in that direction that they don't help, even when they could. I agree that we shouldn't be coaching each pitch and yelling out instructions about stride length and release points, etc. However, when you see one little key issue that is affecting each pitch why wouldn't you give them a cue if it could help? I've see it help dd many times when she was pitching and have helped other pitchers as well. I know one dad who created a number code with his dd. When she had a consistent posture issue or was slowing down on her change up or whatever he'd just yell "31" and it was a good cue for her to fix a minor issue without any discussion or elaboration and no one else even knew what was said. I think as long as you keep these cues to a minimum (not every pitch, not even every innning, maybe not even every game) they can really help.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
6,441
113
Dallas, Texas
However, when you see one little key issue that is affecting each pitch why wouldn't you give them a cue if it could help?
There are so many reasons...

1) Pitching takes a tremendous amount of mental effort. She needs to be in the moment, focused on the game.
2) If your DD is more than 14YOA, she knows more about pitching mechanics than you ever will.
3) If your DD has pitches in games regularly, she knows more about pitching than you ever will.
4) Your view of "what is happening" is colored by the emotion of watching your DD pitch...so, your advice could be completely wrong.
5) Your DD has to learn to pitch without you. You aren't always going to be around.
6) It is her game, not yours. The joy of competing--which involves winning and losing--is hers.
7) "16U" means that children under the age of 17 play. HS means only HS kids get to play. Softball is a game against other children her age. If your DD was playing Chutes and Ladders with other children, would you interrupt to offer strategic advice?
8) She can't correct flaws in her motion during the game. She shouldn't even be thinking about mechanics during a game.
9) You may not be on the same page as the person calling pitches.

The best thing to do is to take specific notes, and go over the notes *THE DAY AFTER THE GAME* with your DD. If you see a flaw in her motion, work on it at the next practice.
 
Jul 19, 2020
12
3
Lord no
How do you do it? with signals from behind the plate or at the dugout after the inning? I am always hesitant to say/do anything because I don't want to be the Dad coaching from the stands but it drives me bananas to see her get hit when I know a quick adjustment would make it dance.
Lord no... never go to the dugout. Ever. (Unless injured)
 
Mar 28, 2014
869
93
There are so many reasons...

1) Pitching takes a tremendous amount of mental effort. She needs to be in the moment, focused on the game.
2) If your DD is more than 14YOA, she knows more about pitching mechanics than you ever will.
3) If your DD has pitches in games regularly, she knows more about pitching than you ever will.
4) Your view of "what is happening" is colored by the emotion of watching your DD pitch...so, your advice could be completely wrong.
5) Your DD has to learn to pitch without you. You aren't always going to be around.
6) It is her game, not yours. The joy of competing--which involves winning and losing--is hers.
7) "16U" means that children under the age of 17 play. HS means only HS kids get to play. Softball is a game against other children her age. If your DD was playing Chutes and Ladders with other children, would you interrupt to offer strategic advice?
8) She can't correct flaws in her motion during the game. She shouldn't even be thinking about mechanics during a game.
9) You may not be on the same page as the person calling pitches.

The best thing to do is to take specific notes, and go over the notes *THE DAY AFTER THE GAME* with your DD. If you see a flaw in her motion, work on it at the next practice.
I disagree with most of this so we will agree to disagree.
 

RADcatcher

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
2,672
113
California
IF coaches were on top of chatting with battery during games in between innings, parents might....MIGHT....be slightly less the fan/parent/instructor/narrator.

That would mean coaches would actually have to learn the pitchers on their teams.
And learn what to look for to communicate verbal tid-bits.

Hmmm? Until this ^ happens parents will continue.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
6,441
113
Dallas, Texas
IF coaches were on top of chatting with battery during games in between innings, parents might....MIGHT....be slightly less the fan/parent/instructor/narrator.

That would mean coaches would actually have to learn the pitchers on their teams.
And learn what to look for to communicate verbal tid-bits.

Hmmm? Until this ^ happens parents will continue.
It wouldn't help. Some parents like to believe their kids need them to play a game.
 

RADcatcher

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
2,672
113
California
___________________
To keep the discussion going
I do think there are parents who know what their kid is learning. And think parents can know there kids better than coaches.
That said, there are good and lousy coaches.
Lousy coaches need help.
Players need guidance.
Finding the where and when to help a kid or younger player is still important.
As for addressing during game comments...
It can help.
Perhaps a good discussion on how to help can find solution.
Example
*Parents can make a connection between the coach and pitcher/catcher to address verbal que's when pitching goes haywire.
This can be addressing too much coaching jibberish or add a word or two when necessary.
 
Last edited:

RADcatcher

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
2,672
113
California
To add on talking to players in games.
As an instructor/fan attending games.
Tend to say positive things highlighting good moments.
After all these are the things we want to do right and again!

When a player has a good moment,
i may say,
"good job strong you"...
Highlighting i see the balance and strength in their mechanics.
It is both a reminder and a compliment!

However i do not chime often per game.
Maybe once or twice.

I will cheer at any great play on the field! Either team!
 
Nov 20, 2020
81
18
DD has been coached on the goal being movement from day one. She’s young and has only pitched for two full years (10u and 12u). So not only is she relatively inexperienced we changed the ball size and distance on her. Her velocity noticeably increased come Fall this year. So much so that other parents and coaches within the league would make comment. She’s no fire starter but when her mechanics are good(er) and she’s feeling confident its noticeable. At any rate....while we’ve focused on mechanics for speed it’s also been for proper release for ball spin/movement. Whether it’s 1” or 5”.....the ball needs to move.

It really clicked for her when the pitching instructor she sees explained that the ball being hit can be good as long as she dictated how it was hit. High level example being creating a weak grounder (or pop fly) that becomes an out in one pitch versus striking a batter out in say five pitches.

If a pitcher can combine high velocity with movement....even better. But bottom line....it’s got to move.


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