Losing the Team Leader

[sball0428]

A long time reader here, but this is my first post. I guess just needing to vent a little. This may be a little long and I apologize.

This week I lost a leader. This is a young lady who I have had the privilege of coaching for 4 years now. We are an 18U team and she is a senior. She is the vocal leader of out team. She is the one who drives an hour and half to practice and many times will drive an hour out of her way to make sure team mates are able to get to and from practice. This young lady knows the game better than any player I have ever coached. I got a phone call from her in tears. Very unlike this kid stating she was done and she just doesn't feel like she will have an opportunity to play at the next level. She said she is tired of getting her hopes up only to get her heart broke when it comes to recruiting. She was offered this past summer and accepted the offer. She continued to communicate with the coach via text message and phone calls on a weekly basis. Two weeks ago I received an email from this email from the coach:

"Though I really think a lot of Julie and her family and admire her unwavering support she has given myself and our program since I arrived; we have evaluated our program's need and we feel in order to compete in our competitive conference we need to go a different route in our players. I understand her academics will provide her much financial support, but we need to recruit players that will be able to compete immediately and will push our current players to be better."

So in short. Senior year and the team you have been devoted to for several years. A school that you want to attend and have visited. A program who you have attended multiple camps at offers you and you accept only to have that offer pulled from you just before signing date.

I'm sure this has happened to others in the past, but our young ladies deserve better than this. How does a recruit go from offer to being dropped? I was told by the coach that they are going with transfers at this time. This young lady does not use social media. She has never said a bad word towards anyone and loves everyone she comes in contact with. My heart aches for her this week. I am going to give her some time and reach out to her in a week or so. She needs to understand that things can change.

Does anyone have experience with a similar situation? Any words of wisdom for this young lady?

 

[YOCOACH]

It sucks but it's the nature of the beast. As long as players and their families continue to give the coaches that kind of power over them, it will continue to happen.
Words of wisdom? If one school wanted her, there will obviously be others. However, this late in the game, they may very well be out of money for her year by now. Luckily, it appears that her academics are good which means that's money they can't take away from her as long as she maintains her grades. This, in and of itself, offers her a unique opportunity. It allows her to pick a school for the entire college experience.
If I remember correctly, 6 out of 10 athletes drop out of the sport they went to college to play after their Freshman year and only 1 in 10 end up playing all 4 years. Have her go out and look at schools that she would like to attend if she weren't playing ball for them. When she finds a couple, have her set up an official visit as well as a meeting with the SB coach through the Admissions office. At each meeting, have her introduce herself, tell the coach about the experience your player has and let them know she may be coming in the Fall and may be walking on to come play for them. If the coach is smart, they'll do their due diligence and take a hard look at her since it won't cost them a dime to have her on the team. Also, many times, in order to entice her to choose their school, more academic moneys may be offered when the coach whispers in the Admissions department ear that they want her. Once there and on the team, if she puts in the hard work and sticks with it, as players drop off and free up money, some coaches will throw some towards a hard working player as the years go by. If she decides to walk away, in reality, she has no skin in the game and with her academic moneys, she is not dependent on Athletics to get her education.
After all, she's going to college to get an education first and foremost and to have a fulfilling college experience overall. Playing ball is just icing on the cake.

 

[The Man In Blue]

My oldest was informally offered a full ride (volleyball) from a JUCO during a tournament we were at. The coach was great when he talked to us. He asked her to come set up a visit.

On Monday she called to set up the visit and the coach wavered. A player he thought was leaving may not be leaving ... this on again off again went on for almost a month. During that time she got another offer (soccer - a sport she had played for one season) from a private school. Not as much money, but ... she took it since it was a little closer to home. The day after she signed her letter, the volleyball coach called and said (again) he had a spot for her. Sorry, too late dude. I’d have preferred she took it, but she and I were both fed up with him.

Coaches are not there to look out for players they don’t yet have. Some would argue they don’t look out for the ones they do have. In this case, it sounds to me like the coach is on the chopping block, was told “win, NOW”, and knows he can’t do it with his existing team. He no longer is building for the future, he is clamoring to keep his job. Instead of doing it, he is looking for “free agent guns for hire” that he can bring in to do it for him. Honestly, is that the kind of coach she wants to play for?

I like Yocoach’s post ... this may free her up more than she realizes.

 

[bmakj]

sball and TMIB, would be great if you could provide names (but I understand if you do not wish to), as the greatest way to stop this behaviour is to bring it to the light of day and shout it from the mountaintop. Shame these lying sacks of crap.

 

[Orange Socks]

If she is good enough to get one offer, she is good enough to get another. There are still lots of schools looking for 2020's. I just spoke to the coach of the reigning D3 national champion yesterday and he said that he only has one 2020 currently committed. Last summer I spoke to several D1's still looking for one more. Lots of opportunity. Just have to be open to looking at everything, if she really wants to play.

 

[Tango]

Football kid had an offer to a big D1 school. Had the local paper call and do a two hour interview to boost his support from the fan base (that was a first). The interview was the day before signing day. Dropped him on signing day.

They had offered a month earlier and the position coach left for the NFL. New position coach got on him two weeks before signing day. Then dropped him at the last minute. The kid was legit. Still had the opportunity to play college ball but not at the level he should have.

 

[Rick M]

So in short. Senior year and the team you have been devoted to for several years. A school that you want to attend and have visited. A program who you have attended multiple camps at offers you and you accept only to have that offer pulled from you just before signing date.

This is most likely the heart of the matter, and there's not much you can do about it. She's probably been talking about this school and wearing their gear to high school for two years, and when she got an offer she shared her good news with everyone. Now, she's hurt and she's probably embarrassed.

You're doing the right thing by giving her some time. If you can reach out to some contacts, maybe you can tell her that there's interest from other schools, if only to make her feel like her hard work hasn't been for nothing.

I love that my daughter is a softball player, because it's hard. She's had to deal with disappointment and failure much more than her peers, and that is what prepares you for life. It's hard to watch sometimes, but your team leader will emerge stronger for her experience.

 

[bmakj]

If she is good enough to get one offer, she is good enough to get another. There are still lots of schools looking for 2020's. I just spoke to the coach of the reigning D3 national champion yesterday and he said that he only has one 2020 currently committed. Last summer I spoke to several D1's still looking for one more. Lots of opportunity. Just have to be open to looking at everything, if she really wants to play.

true enough, but does not excuse the behaviour of coaches like these.

way too much emphasis on winning in collegiate sports. the entire purposes of collegiate sports was not for old geezers to have bragging rights and get sponsorships and huge coaches salaries. it was to promote the aspects of atheltics that provide lifelong value to the participants (teamwork, hard work, sacrifice, determination) and to provide something to unite the student body. oh how we have strayed.

 

[uncdrew]

Personally I'd email and let her know you're there for her when she's ready. She feels really alone right now. While she might not be ready to talk, she's certainly ready to know people care about her.

 

[BT3100]

We have a coach in our area that has a "habit" of verballing many kids only to pull offers at the last minute. It's almost a recruiting strategy for this coach. For a few reasons I would have loved for DD to attend this school, but after I learned about this I wouldn't allow her to consider this program. And she would have made an immediate impact on that school's team, probably would be the top pitcher there as a freshman. His loss. So the word will get out if this coach who did this to your player makes this a habit. One thing to remind your player is that kids do change their minds and decommit too. When that happens coaches need players so she should never quit the game she loves. Keep promoting her at tournaments and showcases. She will achieve her dreams and when she does it will make her stronger and probably be a better fit. I believe that all things happen for a reason.