Looking for some advice on HS ball because this dad is driving the struggle bus (Sorry another HS topic)

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Jun 6, 2016
2,714
113
Chicago
My daughter was in the exact opposite situation. She was a Jr. and there were a Sr. and sophomore pitcher as well. The difference between them was small. My girl was probably a little faster than the other two (62-63 vs. 59-60), but all serviceable pitchers.

My daughter started the year pitching every inning. They played a tournament and she pitched 3 games in one day (234 pitches) early in the season. She got a blister on her finger and on her plant foot. Her shoulder was sore and she was pitching like crap in the last game.

I asked the coach why she wouldn’t put the other girls in. I explained that we needed them to be ready and they need innings to be ready. The coach then said, she was going to play the best 9 in whatever position she wanted and she would not discuss playing time (she didn’t know my daughter was the one pitching every game). I then explained who my daughter was and that if she put her on the rubber for the games the next day we were going to need a private conference because she was hurting her.

On the bus, the coach talked to my girl and said she was sorry for pushing her too hard. The next day both of the other girls pitched and we won both of the games.

The rest of the season they got to split innings and they performed way better as a team.

Moral of the story is a grown up conversation might help resolve some of the issues. Girl pitching every game probably would like some rest as well.

This is a very different situation. You were not discussing playing time. You were expressing concern over your daughter's health/overuse, and while the coach should obviously have not needed that conversation with you to figure it out, notice how once you made it clear what the issue was, she went from "not discussing playing time" to immediately handling it?
 
Jul 19, 2021
630
93
My daughter started the year pitching every inning. They played a tournament and she pitched 3 games in one day (234 pitches) early in the season. She got a blister on her finger and on her plant foot. Her shoulder was sore and she was pitching like crap in the last game.

I asked the coach why she wouldn’t put the other girls in. I explained that we needed them to be ready and they need innings to be ready. The coach then said, she was going to play the best 9 in whatever position she wanted and she would not discuss playing time (she didn’t know my daughter was the one pitching every game). I then explained who my daughter was and that if she put her on the rubber for the games the next day we were going to need a private conference because she was hurting her.

On the bus, the coach talked to my girl and said she was sorry for pushing her too hard. The next day both of the other girls pitched and we won both of the games.
The lack of good coaching in high school continues to amaze me. Most of these coaches are clueless and to top it off, severely lacking in the humility department. It makes for quite the combo. A person that knows nothing but thinks they know everything. Oh the Joy!

Seriously............. in this day and age with all of the coaching resources/information that is widely available, the only reason for not being a good coach is laziness. Sad to see.
 
Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
The lack of good coaching in high school continues to amaze me. Most of these coaches are clueless and to top it off, severely lacking in the humility department. It makes for quite the combo. A person that knows nothing but thinks they know everything. Oh the Joy!

Seriously............. in this day and age with all of the coaching resources/information that is widely available, the only reason for not being a good coach is laziness. Sad to see.
A team in DD’s former conference is playing for their 4th state championship in 5 years today.

Their coach has pretty much laid out how to build a program out of nothing since he took over there in 2016.

Another high school in our area (about twice the size) did a similar building process.

They also built from scratch.

They:

1) Hired a head coach who was an established tb coach who had already coached (for free) for many years and knew the game. The school was smart enough to realize that THE COACH DOES NOT NEED TO BE A SCHOOL DISTRICT EMPLOYEE!!! GASP! THE HUMANITY!

2) The head coach then built a large staff of both long term assistant coaches and temporary parent assistant coaches who also had coaching experience that helped run excellent practices and intensive, practice like warmups.

3) The head coaches realized that they needed the help of ^^^parent coaches^^^ mentioned above and were smart enough to understand that it is possible to use crazy assed tb coach parents to advance their program. Since the head coach knew what they were doing, they were secure enough to understand that a parent coach was not going to hake over the program.

4) They played to win every game. The politics were kept to a minimum and all decisions about who played how much were that of the head coach and were final. Don’t @ me about this. They developed players constantly but they didn’t fool around with children of staff and “important people” that were not capable players.

So- other schools created a pattern that could be followed for success. Same can be said for other sports. To be fair, they didn’t do much for the sport the AD cares about (football) either. Same old/same old. It’s a shame.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
A team in DD’s former conference is playing for their 4th state championship in 5 years today.

1) Hired a head coach who was an established tb coach who had already coached (for free) for many years and knew the game. The school was smart enough to realize that THE COACH DOES NOT NEED TO BE A SCHOOL DISTRICT EMPLOYEE!!! GASP! THE HUMANITY!

2) The head coach then built a large staff of both long term assistant coaches and temporary parent assistant coaches who also had coaching experience that helped run excellent practices and intensive, practice like warmups.

3) The head coaches realized that they needed the help of ^^^parent coaches^^^ mentioned above and were smart enough to understand that it is possible to use crazy assed tb coach parents to advance their program. Since the head coach knew what they were doing, they were secure enough to understand that a parent coach was not going to hake over the program.

4) They played to win every game. The politics were kept to a minimum and all decisions about who played how much were that of the head coach and were final.
I wonder if this can even happen in the Texas public school system. Our district allows for only 2 coaches for each softball program. A nearby district allows for 3 coaches. I have never seen a volunteer coach or someone on the field that was not an employee of the district. Many reasons which might include teacher's union, Training, Safety, insurance, education, etc, etc.

I heard from a dad of a player who's team won Texas State Championship last year that the girls basically ran the team and walked all over the coach. The players made the lineups. Crazy. But that team has a pipeline of Monster pitchers. At one time, they had 3 D1 committed pitchers on the team. You might see one of them pitching in couple of hours on ABC this afternoon.
 
Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
What did DD’s hs do?

First of all, they wasted talent every year. We always had two good to pretty good pitchers which isn’t bad for a school our size. We also had much above average hitting.

1) Hired a head coach who was an established tb coach who had already coached (for free) for many years and knew the game. The school was smart enough to realize that THE COACH DOES NOT NEED TO BE A SCHOOL DISTRICT EMPLOYEE!!! GASP! THE HUMANITY!
We went through a string of coaches. The latest is, of course, a school employee. She played on state championship teams and played some college softball. She is terrified of speaking to parents. “No parent coaches” due to insecurity. Did hire one of her former hs coaches to help her- he was a nice add. No other help.

Also- softball is supposedly important to her. Yet outside of hs, it isn’t important enough to 1)helps rec program 2) coach a tb team (for free) 3) give lessons 4) do ANYTHING except show up during hs season.

2) The head coach then built a large staff of both long term assistant coaches and temporary parent assistant coaches who also had coaching experience that helped run excellent practices and intensive, practice like warmups.
Us? Oh hell no. Someone can hit ground balls, the other can throw a few wiffles. The rest can flail away at some balls on tees.

3) The head coaches realized that they needed the help of ^^^parent coaches^^^ mentioned above and were smart enough to understand that it is possible to use crazy assed tb coach parents to advance their program. Since the head coach knew what they were doing, they were secure enough to understand that a parent coach was not going to hake over the program.
Parents are scary. Would hate to have a dad on staff who has worked with every good hitter on the team the last 8 years. Even though she can’t do without those hitters, would hate to have him work with the bottom half of the lineup and the jv… Could result in favoritism even though one of Daddy Coach’s kid has already been playing ss and hitting 1st or 4th for the last 6 years anyway…

4) They played to win every game. The politics were kept to a minimum and all decisions about who played how much were that of the head coach and were final. Don’t @ me about this. They developed players constantly but they didn’t fool around with children of staff and “important people” that were not capable players.
Our school softball is a “co-op” which means it is a combination of two small schools. Gotta be careful of who plays from each school…. There is also always some foolishness with certain kids playing. This was de minimis but still happened.

My youngest is a college junior but I’m still pi$$ed. (Not for my my kids, they were lucky to have more opportunities than most.) Every kid deserves a chance to experience team excellence. When it’s within our reach to do more and we choose not to it’s a mistake.
 
Last edited:
Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
I wonder if this can even happen in the Texas public school system. Our district allows for only 2 coaches for each softball program. A nearby district allows for 3 coaches. I have never seen a volunteer coach or someone on the field that was not an employee of the district. Many reasons which might include teacher's union, Training, Safety, insurance, education, etc, etc.

I heard from a dad of a player who's team won Texas State Championship last year that the girls basically ran the team and walked all over the coach. The players made the lineups. Crazy. But that team has a pipeline of Monster pitchers. At one time, they had 3 D1 committed pitchers on the team. You might see one of them pitching in couple of hours on ABC this afternoon.
Yep- doesn’t sound like it.

My post was just about how our local hs could create a program that would have done our players a lot of good with a little thought, leadership and effort.

Small high schools in our area have numerous players that don’t play much tb- yet with a little help could probably go on to play at numerous small colleges in the area if they wanted.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
DD1's HS coach can't even look me in the eye. I fired off an email to her 2 weeks after graduation letting her know how I felt and what she did to my DD. I also gave it the 24 hr rule + 2 weeks and I still felt the same way. DD basically helped coach the team. She was the only player in the last 10 years to get 3-1st team All district and 1-2nd team All District (Fresh) awards. At least the other coaches gave her recognition. She had more HR's than any other player most likely in the history of the school. She did not get a single team award in her 4 years there. One player who was not good, got both the Defensive MVP (played OF and barely throw a strike at 48 MPH)and Most Improved Player! Voted on by the players. How in the hell can you let that happen? Weak and Spineless. It wasn't me. It was the players who voted. Did the players have the stats to help them make this decision? Coach gave her a participation paper at the awards banquet, and didn't say a single word about her contribution. DD bawled her eyes out and was fell into my arms when we got home. She was devastated. It broke her spirit. The coach never acknowledged my email. I just smile at her and tell her that DD is kicking A$$. Might also be the reason that DD2 did not play Varsity this year.

BUT She did get the team MVP for her college team this year which happened to be on the 3 years anniversary of that HS debacle. Redemption!
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Yep- doesn’t sound like it.

My post was just about how our local hs could create a program that would have done our players a lot of good with a little thought, leadership and effort.

Small high schools in our area have numerous players that don’t play much tb- yet with a little help could probably go on to play at numerous small colleges in the area if they wanted.
Heck yeah. Lots of parents could help out, but I also see the value of keeping the parents outside the fence.
 
Dec 11, 2010
4,713
113
She did get the team MVP for her college team this year which happened to be on the 3 years anniversary of that HS debacle. Redemption!
This is pretty cool! And it IS redemption!

Recognition was something else our former player coach “didn’t believe in”. She thought it was counter productive to team dynamics. Which I think could be a reasonable sounding thing for a coach to say- if she didn’t follow it up by saying something about how other players on her hs state championship team in her playing days were recognized and she wasn’t…. I irritated her when I submitted a freshman’s stats to the newspaper for a “player of the week” type deal. Kid had a monster week. She won. She wasn’t submitting any info. Now it would be understandable if it was my kid whose stats I submitted…. It wasn’t. I explained to her that this kid wanted to play college ball and recognition might help her get noticed…

I also sent an email about how she had benefitted from Title IX and how she should pay it forward by supporting womens sports in some fashion, or any fashion. That won me some brownie points lol

I wish I still had the energy to fight the good fight. I don’t.

That’s how they win. Most of the current players parents can’t afford to complain. The former parents don’t complain because they are worn down and are just glad it’s over. The cycle repeats.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
This is pretty cool! And it IS redemption!

Recognition was something else our former player coach “didn’t believe in”. She thought it was counter productive to team dynamics. Which I think could be a reasonable sounding thing for a coach to say- if she didn’t follow it up by saying something about how other players on her hs state championship team in her playing days were recognized and she wasn’t…. I irritated her when I submitted a freshman’s stats to the newspaper for a “player of the week” type deal. Kid had a monster week. She won. She wasn’t submitting any info. Now it would be understandable if it was my kid whose stats I submitted…. It wasn’t. I explained to her that this kid wanted to play college ball and recognition might help her get noticed…

I also sent an email about how she had benefitted from Title IX and how she should pay it forward by supporting womens sports in some fashion, or any fashion. That won me some brownie points lol

I wish I still had the energy to fight the good fight. I don’t.

That’s how they win. Most of the current players parents can’t afford to complain. The former parents don’t complain because they are worn down and are just glad it’s over. The cycle repeats.
LOL. I am the Booster Club President over all the sports. Talk about being tired. DD2 playing JV. Who cares? I actually like knowing the games are only 1 hr 10min finish the batter. I can be home sippin' on some bourbon before the Varsity game starts. They'll get run ruled anyway.
 

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